


Finding Sunny

by Shelby77gt



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Battle, F/M, Gen, Marine Corps, Military, NEST - Freeform, wattpad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-08-24 09:36:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 84,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16637426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shelby77gt/pseuds/Shelby77gt
Summary: Nichole James has been medically discharged from the Marine Corps. She was in a ambush overseas. She is a heartless, ruthless killer. She is a soulless human being. She only has one person that knows everything about her and its not a person, its an Autobot named Diesel. After the ambush she is taken away and thinks he died trying to save her life. Her superiors send her to N.E.S.T so the boys there can assets her situation.  She was the only survivor and won't talk.Then she meets Sunstreaker. They hate each other right off the bat. As much as they hate each other and try to stay away from each other, they always find a way to run into each other. Sunstreaker feels the pull, Sideswipe feels it too.She begins to trust him. He helps her to become more human. That is until Sunstreaker does the unfathomable. Sideswipe knows somethings not right. Sunny would never do something like that.Sunny's gone, Nichole's devastated. Will Sideswipe get the two back together? Will he fall for her too? Will the lifeless human be able to feel again?Set in Bayverse. Not really set during a specific movie.I do not own Transformers. I only own my character.Mild Swearing and some violence





	1. Prologe

She stormed down the base hallway, after leaving Major Lennox's office.

She made her way through the hanger to get to her barracks room. Before she could disappear. She became stopped by a transforming Sideswipe. Once finished he knelt down in front of her, stopping her in her tracks.

"What happened?" He asked concerned in his tone.

"None of your business." She snapped. She proceeded to try and walk around him. He put his servo down in front of her.

"Don't do this." He warned. He wasn't mad at her, he didn't want her to go back and lock herself away again.

"I'm not in the military anymore. I will do what I want." She demanded, knowing what he meant.

"Sunny wouldn't like this." He warned, trying to get through to her.

"Sunstreaker isn't here." She growled, pushing his servo out of her way and left down the hall. Sideswipe watched her disappear down the hall to her room. He wanted to know why Lennox needed to talk to her. Since they lost Sunny, she hasn't been the same. Before she was trying hard, working with Lennox to try and get back in the military. Now she didn't care anymore. Lennox came out of his office after she was long gone.

Sideswipe took long strides to get to him.

"What did you say to her?" He demanded to know, kneeling in front of the disgruntled Major.

"I can't disclose that to you. If you want to know, she needs to be the one to tell you, but she did ask to leave base." Lennox relayed. Sideswipe's shoulders fell. His eyes dimmed.

"Why?" He asked in a whisper.

"All she said was she's done. She has been here longer than she needed to be. But that's all I will disclose to you." Lennox shrugged. Sides stood and left the major standing there. He transformed and raced down the hallway to her barracks room. His holoform jumped out as he came to a sliding stop in front of her door.

Nichole heard the hard, fast knocking on her door. She hesitated to open the door. As soon as that handle turned, Sideswipe barged in.

"Sides." She began to protest as he wrapped his arms around her. Holding her tight.

"Sideswipe, what are you doing?" She questioned, stiff against his hold, not sure how to react.

"Please don't leave." He whimpered into her neck. "Why?" She said not as a question, but to reassure him.

"I lost Sunny, I can't lose you too. Please." He begged. His arms snaked tighter around her waist.

They stood in silence for a moment. Nichole kept her arms close to her chest and rested her head against Sides chest. His spark humming in her ear. She grabbed a bit of his shirt tightening her grip. Her eyes were wide, trying to stop the tears that were on the verge of falling. 

It had been nothing chaos after finding out Sunstreaker was the one to betray them. Sides didn't want to believe it. Nichole was so devastated, she locked herself away. No one saw her anymore. Sides tried hard to get her to come out. He needed her, and he knew she needed him too. She's lost right now. Sunstreaker had been her everything since she came to them. They were both stubborn, both anti-social but wanted attention, they had so much in common. She was in love with him. He was in love with her. Though neither one of them would admit it. Sideswipe loved her too, though not as much as Sunstreaker did. He could never compare to his twin in her eyes. No matter how much he wishes he could. Now that his twin is gone, he knew he needed to step up and take his place to the best of his ability. He's worried she wouldn't last too long without him. No one knew why Sunstreaker did what he did. No one, in a million years, would think he would do such a thing. Sideswipe knows there is something else going on. He knew his twin and he knew he would never do something without a reason. If only he could get Nichole to see this. As of right now, to her, everything she knew about him was a lie.


	2. Welcome to NEST

*one year prior*

"We will be having a Marine veteran coming to stay here for the next few weeks." Major Lennox told the soldiers and Autobots in the room. He stood on top of a platform so everyone in the room could see him. "I ask that you not hound her with questions and leave her be, unless needed. She has just recently been medically discharged from the Marine Corps, for an injury that happened while deployed to Afghan. I know you are all wondering, why is some random vet coming here? What's so special about her? Well She knew a Autobot. In fact, they were partners. He has been critically wounded in combat with her. She unfortunately believes he passed away. He is on his way here on a ship from Afghan, but he won't be here for another two weeks. Ratchet is with him right now, making sure he makes it. So, I ask that you give her space. I could barely get her to talk about it, I doubt she will talk to any of you. I'm warning you all now." He explained to the men and bots.  
"When is she getting here?" A soldier asked from down below.  
"She will be here later this afternoon." Lennox answered. "Dismissed." He shouted and everyone in the room besides the Autobots disbanded. 

The largest of the bots, walked closer to the platform. His head held high, shoulders back, respect and authority bleeding off him as he walked, blues and reds mixed against his muscular frame.  
"I am going to need answers from her." A deep baritone voice rang out from his vocal cords.  
"I know, Optimus. I tried to explain that to her. She is very stubborn, especially after what happened." Lennox said.  
"I'm sure she's not as stubborn as Sunny over here." A primary red bot, shorter than Optimus, chimed in, pointing his thumb at a metallic gold bot the same height and build. The said bot proceeded to slap the red bot over the head.  
"Don't call me that." He growled.  
"From what I gathered just talking to her for a few minutes and talking to her superiors, she's probably worse than Sunstreaker." Lennox concurred.  
There was a slight gasp among the bots in the room.  
"How can a fleshy be worse than me?" Sunstreaker snapped, the idea to having someone like him and possibly worse, angered him greatly.  
"We will all find out soon enough. She's got an attitude that the Marine Corps couldn't get out of her, but they needed it on the battle field. She's a frontliner from what I've heard." Lennox continued. Sunstreaker scoffed and walked off out of the hanger. 

"There will be a change in the winds when she gets here." Optimus foretold, watching as Sunstreaker stomped down the hall, his twin chasing after him.  
Lennox nodded in agreement. "Epps and I will be going to pick her up from the airport in about an hour. You all will stay here. I don't need her having a heart attack just before getting her here." Lennox pointed a finger to them all.  
"I thought she knew about us?" Questioned a pitch black beefy bot that stood next to Optimus.  
"She does, but I don't know how much she actually knows. For all I know, she only knew the one bot, nothing about you guys." Lennox pointed out. The bot nodded and began to walk away, some of the other bots in the room leaving with him. 

"Are you sure you don't want one of us going with?" Optimus questioned.  
"No, we are going to take one of the jeeps. We will be good Prime, don't worry. I got this." The major gave the Prime a smirk and made his way down the platform to get ready to head out. 

Lennox and Epps thought of theories about her on their way to pick her up from the airport. They don't know exactly what happened to her and the bot while she was in Afghan. They only know from what her superiors told Lennox and his superior who had met with them earlier this week. They knew she had been severely injured on the battle field. Her bot had tried to take more of the brutal force, something that almost cost him his life. She was pulled away before she was able to know if he was okay or not. After meeting with her, she concluded that he died saving her life and that she would have to live with that. They hope she doesn't have to, they hope Ratchet will be able to save him. They won't know until he gets back with the bot. Epps thought maybe they were fighting cons, just no one really knew. They were told there weren't any cons. They had been in an ambush against the Taliban, a rising force in the middle east. There had been rumors that they had began to team up with the cons. Two forces coming together for different causes, but both want to rule. No one hoped those rumors were true. 

They pulled up to the airport, parked in one of the lots and made their way up to the terminal. They got there early to make sure they didn't miss her. Her medical officer was worried she might try and run off, her mind was not in a good state right now. Or so they were told. The Nest job was to get information from her and try and heal her to the best of their ability. Well, that is what Lennox promised her superior and to her. Though she made it clear she didn't believe him and wasn't about to anytime soon.  
He told Epps how she had acted upon meeting him. She was harsh and cold; her eyes were dark and lifeless. Her face held no emotions, straight face, lips pierced together. She wouldn't sit when he talked to her, she stood, feet about a foot apart, hands behind her back in parade rest. Though her eyes were always looking around, but when she spoke, her eyes bore into his, claiming his full attention. Lennox explained how he had never met a soldier so alive yet lifeless and it honestly scared him. 

Epps was able to understand what he was talking about the minute he put his eyes on her. She walked through the gates, her stone cold gray eyes staring straight in front of her. Epps leaned back in with a mix of fear and interest, noticing the large deep scar across her cheek going down the side of her neck. Lennox stood his ground as the girl walked closer to them. She had on a simple attire, a pair of blue jeans that hug her hips, a simple black V-neck t-shirt that hugged her curves, and a pair of black combat boots. She held a backpack over her shoulder as she walked with confidence towards the two men. She stopped when she got in front of them, standing at a partial parade rest. 

"Good afternoon, gentlemen." She greeted, her voice emotionless.  
"Its good to see you again, Sargent." Lennox gave her a small smile, hoping she would return it. There was nothing from her, she just stood there.  
She looked over at Epps, "Nichole James. I'm not in the service anymore, so don't worry about calling me by my rank." She shook Epps hands and the last part pointed at both men.  
"Epps." He said messaging his hand after she let go.  
"Let's go get the rest of your bags." Lennox suggested. She said nothing and started to head to the baggage claim, the two soldiers following her.  
"How was the flight?" Lennox asked trying to start a light conversation.  
"It was fine. Don't feel the need to make small talk with me, sir. We both know it won't get us anywhere." She stated her tone flat and unwelcoming.  
"Well okay then." He whispered to Epps. Epps heaved out a sigh.  
"This is going to be harder than we though." Epps whispered leaning over, Lennox nodding in agreement. 

They stayed a few feet behind her, unsure how close they should get. They could feel the coldness from her heart seeping off of her.  
"She reminds me of Sunstreaker. I'd hate to get her angry." Epps mumbled, making sure she wouldn't hear. 

They were down at the baggage claim, waiting for her bags. She stood in front of them, holding her carry on bag, waiting. Once she spots her bags she quickly set foot to grab them. She only had two more bags, large bags on wheels. Lennox and Epps reached to grab her bags for her.  
"I can pull my own bags, thank you." She grunted, slinging her other strap from her backpack over her other shoulder, one bag in each hand. The two backed off and told her to follow them out to the jeep.

The jeep drove up into the hanger, every soldier, including the bots, were their waiting. The bots were in the back, in their holoforms. Lennox and Epps step out of the vehicle and Lennox goes to open the door for Nichole.  
"Here we are." He states. She gives him a thank you nod and hops out. Her backpack over her shoulder, she walked in front of the jeep, taking in her surroundings.  
She scans the room and notices the separate group in the back behind the soldiers. The fancy colorful vehicles, she knew all too well who they were. She formed a scowl, and her eyes began shooting daggers as she stands looking at the all, each eyeing her down, different emotions showing on their faces and from the look in their eyes. She took note of the scared looks she was getting around the room. The nervous glanced made towards her.  
"This is Nichole James. You will treat her with the same respect you treat me, if not more. Would you like to say anything, Nichole?" Lennox said turning to her. She set her bag down to her side and walked closer to the group.  
"I want to thank you all for letting me stay here for a few weeks. All I really have to say is, stay out of my way and I'll stay out of yours." She said in a flat voice, no change in pitch as she talked and a fake smile to top it off. Lennox nodded at her as she turned to look at him.  
"Alright dismissed." He said awkwardly.  
"Yes, Sir." Echoed throughout the hanger. All the soldiers left, besides the bots. They waited until the room had been cleared. 

The tallest of the holoforms walked up and held out his hand getting ready to introduce himself.  
"No need to be in your holoforms, I know what you are." She interrupted.  
Their holoforms vanished into thin air and the vehicles in the back began to transform. Lennox led her up to the platform, so she could convers with them better.  
"Don't you know respect." Ironhide sneered after they all transformed.  
"As far as I'm concerned respect is earned not given. And you have not earned my respect. In fact, you've lost it. My partner is dead, because you all ignored his cries for help. So, give me a reason why I should respect you." She demanded raising her voice enough to be heard throughout the hanger.  
The bots looked away from her, except for Ironhide who only gave a low growl. Even Optimus had to look away, it pained him to know she was right. He didn't want to let anyone down, but he had, he wasn't able to rescue a fellow Autobot. 

She felt all eyes on her, but one set seemed to be burning into her. She snapped her head towards the golden mech with the golden and black fins on the side of his helm. His face distorted in anger, eyes on the verge of turning red. He glared into her. She held her glare back. Her face stayed emotionless, her eyes doing the talking. He tried to find fear in them, there was none and that made him furious. He wanted to make her scream, threaten her, make her cry. They continued to stare at each other, time slowing around them. The others watching the two in curiosity and fear.  
Then his spark seemed to pause as he saw a gleam of light pass over her eyes, and that...that scared him. Before anything could be said or done between the two, Lennox decided it was a good time to interrupt.  
"Nichole let me show you to where you will be staying." He suggested, eyeing down Sunstreaker, making sure he didn't try anything. Nichole didn't move her eye contact from Sunstreaker.  
"Yes, Sir." She said. She picked up her bag and grabbed her other bags, her eyes finally moving away from the mech. Then she followed Lennox down the hall out of the hanger. Lennox gave Sunstreaker a questionable look as he was leaving. Sunstreaker watched as they left the hanger. 

"What was that?" His twin Sideswipe wondered putting his hand on his twin shoulder. Sunstreaker shook him off and started storming off.  
"Sunstreaker" Called Optimus. Sunstreaker stopped short, gave a low grunt, hoping the prime wouldn't hear, then turned and walked in front of Optimus.  
"Yes sir?"  
"Seems you and the girl are alike in some ways. I suggest trying not to start anything with her. I don't need anyone ended up in the med bay." The Prime warned.  
"Yes. Sir." The mech growled. He had no plans of trying to talk to her and being anywhere near her. He took his leave and left to his and his brothers room, Sideswipe following behind. 

"She sure is rude." Ironhide noted, crossing his arms.  
"I don't think we should judge her so quickly. There is a story we do not know, and our goal is to find that out. Do as Major Lennox told. We need her to know we are here to help and that she can trust us." Optimus ordered. The others nodded in agreement and began to go off, back to what they were doing before Nichole came. 

"Are you going to talk to me?" Sideswipe nagged his twin, trying to figure out what happened between him and the new femme.  
"No, go away." Sunstreaker barked, laying on his berth, his servos behind his helm.  
"Come on, you two had some kind of connection, or you were about to kill her or her you. It was so weird and Prime saw it too. I could feel your spark starting to boil, then just let go. You got to explain it to me." Sideswipe kept pushing.  
"I don't know what to explain. I have no idea what happened. All I know is that nasty fleshy needs to stay away from me." Sunstreaker pushed off the bed, pointing a digit at his twin. He then got off the berth and stormed out of the room. Before leaving he stopped and looked over his shoulder at his brother.  
"I'm going for a drive, I need to clear my helm." He said, then walked out the door. Sideswipe stood there, confused, hoping his brother would be alright. 

After showing Nichole her room, they started to show her around base. The mess hall, training rooms, med bay, and others. As they were walking back to her room, they began to make their way through the hanger. They barely had time to think as a golden-black Lamborghini came drifting into the bay, stopping right in front of the heartless women who didn't bother to get out of the way.  
Sunstreaker transformed and pounded his fist into the floor, almost shattering the concrete.  
"I could have killed you." He roared.  
"If you didn't come speeding in, you wouldn't have to worry about that." She rebutted, standing in front of him, arms crossed. He growled at her, barring his teeth, shooting daggers at her. Her face remained unchanged, staring right back at him. Lennox and Epps, as well as some others in the hanger, backed away. Lennox became worried for Nichole but wasn't sure if he should interfere. He knew how dangerous Sunstreaker could be.  
"Sunstreaker!" A low deep voice yelled across the room.  
He stood back up. Knowing he couldn't do anything to her without consequences.  
"Disgusting Belligerent Fleshy." He whispered under his breath as he turned to leave.

"I apologize for Sunstreaker behavior." Optimus said walking closer to the small group.  
"You shouldn't have to apologize for him. He's a soldier, isn't he? He needs to act like one." Nichole spoke, keeping her arms crossed.  
"There is a story behind him and his twin, Sideswipe. Though that is one I can not tell. But I can assure you, they are my best fighters. They fight like nothing I've ever seen. I am proud to have them on the Autobot side." He explained kneeling down on one knee in front of her.  
"Everyone has a story, Optimus. Everyone has their reasons on how they are. How they act in front of others. But that doesn't excuse recklessness, carelessness. If we are all supposed to be on the same side, we shouldn't be trying to kill each other, or causing accidents to happen." Her tone was acidic, putting a tainted taste in your mouth as she spoke.  
"Nichole, they are alien species, they work differently than we do. And they are fighting a war, I don't think it really matters at this point, anyone that can fight is fighting. It doesn't matter for them what their attitudes are like as long as they can fight. You didn't get hurt that's all that matters." Lennox intervened, trying to get her to understand. They were different than humans, very different.  
"She is right though. We may be different species, but we have the same ideas when it comes to fighting in a war." Optimus agreed. He knew it was going to be hard to win the broken female over. He was starting to realize just how hard it will be.  
"Nichole, would you mind taking a drive with me?" Optimus questioned. She glanced away quickly then looked back up at him. Thinking quickly about if she should or not.  
"If this is so you can get answers out of me, its not going to happen. So, I'll pass." She answered to the big guy. He looked down at her, optics wide in surprise. Lennox and Epps also seemed surprised at this.  
"Maybe I would just like to get to know you. You will be staying here while." Optimus rephrased. "Optimus, I'm sorry, but I think it would be better you don't get to know me." She snarled.  
"Will you talk to me about Diesel?" Her eyes lit up for just a moment, but disappeared as quick as it came.  
"I will talk about him. He was my partner and he was an Autobot. Though if he were alive today, I doubt he would want to continue." She said calmly. Though her eyes showed anger and danger.  
"I would be honored if you would tell me about him." He chose his words wisely, not wanting to upset the lady further. She gave a nod and he transformed into his alt mode. A gorgeous blue with red flamed Peterbilt. He opened the passenger side door for her and she climbed in. 

The ride was silent for the most part. Nichole stared out the window, seeming to look relax, but was tense underneath. After they were some ways from the base, Optimus spoke up.  
"How did you meet Diesel?" He asked. She looked at the radio that he spoke out of. Since showing up, emotion showed in her eyes. That emotion was sadness. Though it didn't stay their long. 

"I met him not to long after I first got into the fleet. Before I knew who, he was or what he was, I assumed he was just any other MKR 16. I was assigned to him, well the truck everyone thought he was. He would be the truck I had to use whenever I would go on the road and keep everything working properly. No one else wanted to drive him. They said it was a possessed truck. Well they just didn't know what it really was. I told them I'll take the challenge. They all thought I was nuts. I was though. I was nuts. And I thought I was going crazy at first when I started driving him and taking care of him. It wasn't until a few months later that I learned what the truck really was. We were on a field op and I had just gotten back from picking up a tram. My A-driver was ground guiding the tram driver off of the 870 trailer. Then the tram began to slip off of the trailer. I didn't have time to react and just when I thought it was going to hit me, there was a screech of metal and then nothing. I looked up and there he was, transformed, his hand over me, holding the tram. He picked it up and set it on the ground. Let's just say I was the only one that didn't freak out. The tram driver and my A-driver went crazy, but in the end, they accepted him as well. The three of us kept his secret. He became my best friend, my family." She whispered the last part. Trying not to let the emotions forming get to her.  
"What happened to the other two that knew him?" Optimus asked, he parked his alt near the edge of a cliff.  
"They died two years later in our second deployment to Afghan. We had gotten split up that deployment. I stayed with Diesel. There was nothing we could do about it. We didn't hear about the news until two weeks later when we arrived back at base." She stared blankly over the cliff from inside Optimus.  
"I'm sorry for your loss." He professed, knowing what its like to lose friends.  
"It was a risk we we're all willing to take. We all signed the dotted line." She commented. If he would have been in his bipedal mode, he would have nodded in understanding from what other soldiers have told him.  
"That is the one difference I have found between your military and mine. We didn't have a choice to fight in the war, you did." He explained, trying to keep the hint of anger at bay.  
"Optimus, there is always a choice. I chose to fight for my country. I have my reasons why, but it was better than what I was doing before. Your Autobots had a choice. Unfortunately for them, after your planet died, they had to make that choice. Americans, like me, sign that dotted line, saying we will fight for our country and pay with our lives if we have too. It was a choice we all make. Every soldier working with you at the Nest, made that choice to be there. They weren't forced too, but they did it for their country. None of them were thinking about themselves." She finished. Optimus decided it was time to change the subject.  
"May I asked what happened to get you medically discharged?" He was hesitant to ask. She turned and looked at the radio, her eyes growing dark.  
"You can see the stitches. I was hurt that's all you need to know." She said her voice dead, ending the conversation there.  
"Let's head back to base, shall we?" He suggested, knowing he wasn't going to get anything else out of the women.


	3. Mirror Mirror on the wall

She stared at herself in the large mirror on the bathroom wall above the sink. The bright lights overhead, shine over some of the darkest parts of the room. She can see the darkened skin under her eyelids, each individual stitch starting right below the edge of the lack of sleep. Pulling the skin tight, no possible wrinkles could show. Unlike the other side, which shows her false age. Years of battle warn away her body making her look older than she was. She lightly touches the stitches lining the lower part of her face and down the side of her neck. She would have been dead if she hadn't been saved, covered with protection. The scar that will remain will forever remind her of who she lost. She traces each stitch, still feeling a sting of pain as she passes over each one. It had only happened three weeks ago. Still fresh in her mind. Images of that day flash in her mind. She gives a slap to her cheek, right over the stitches, echoing throughout the bathroom. Her face never winces from the pain it causes. Her head barely moves from the force of her hand. She begins to caress her cheek, soothing the pain she caused herself. Her eyes staring into her own dark cold gray eyes. Trying to remember a time when they were bright, warm and ocean blue. 

That time felt so long ago, though, it truly was. It was a time of peace and happiness for her. A time she will never feel again. Her time in the Marine Corps made it easier for her to forget that time. Made her into the killing machine she is. Fighting for her country without mercy. She can look her enemy in the eye, shoot them through the heart, and have a smirk formed on her face as she watches them fall to the ground. Hitting the ground with a thud, their eyes lifeless before they hit the cold, hard ground. Their blood beginning to seep though the bullet hole made in their chest. Sometimes she would stay where she was, looking through her scope making sure they didn't get back up. This is what made people fear her. Made her superiors want her on the front lines with the grunts. Not in the back, bringing up supplies in the rear. She was known for her cold heart, how she could kill with no care in the world. Most grunts feared her as well, but they were also glad she was on their side. 

Her Autobot partner had helped her become this way. He didn't intend for her to become heartless and cold towards people, though she was already that way when they officially met. Only made worse from fighting war for so long. He became her heart, he was there for her when no one was. He made sure she was okay, keeping her in check, making sure she thought about what she was going to say. They had met after she joined the Corps, when she first got to her unit. When she found him, she did everything she could to keep him alive and his secret safe. Then they were ripped apart after 8 years together, after he made sure she would live. He was her only family, the only one closest to her, that knew all her secrets. Now that he was gone, she didn't know what to do anymore. She cut off all contact with everyone. It didn't matter who they were. The Marine Corps kicked her out saying she wouldn't be able to fight anymore. They didn't need her anymore. They told her she would forever have problems and with her mental health it only made it harder for her. She would never be able to live in the civilian world. She would never be able to get a normal job and live her life. The exact opposite her partner wanted for her. The Marine Corps didn't even want to chance her anymore. This is what they needed to get her out. She was too dangerous for the military, but she would also be too dangerous for the civilian world as well. 

Glass shattered around her, falling onto her skin, causing tiny cuts. 

It took a minute for her to realize what she did. The once large mirror, was now in pieces around the sink. 

Her knuckles began to bleed from the hard punch she threw at it. She didn't feel the pain, she felt numb. Her eyes glowed with anger as she panted from adrenaline. She thought about throwing another punch, but that wouldn't help anyone.

Then she heard a knock on her door. Quickly, she grabbed a towel to cover her hand. She looked through the peep hole to see who it was. Outside her door stood a dark-haired man, bright blue eyes, some stubble along his sculpted jaw line. He wore a red skin-tight t-shirt over his toned torso and black ripped up jeans that hugged his hips perfectly. Then a pair of black and red converse at his feet. She recognized him from earlier. He was a Autobot in his holoform. 

She opened the door and leaned with her arms crossed, hiding her hand, in the door frame. "Yes?" She asked trying to be polite.

"I heard something shatter as I walked by and I just wanted to make sure you were all right." He wondered nervously. 

"I'm fine, thank you for your concern." She stated and began to close the door. He stopped her by putting his hand on the door.

"Is there something else?" Her voice flat. She stared at him, watching him squirm from his nerves. He was about a foot taller than her and wouldn't look at her. 

"Um would you like to hang out with us? We are going to be in the rec room playing video games." He was a nervous wreck and was beginning to sweat.

"Thanks for the offer, but no I'll be staying here." She gave him a fake smile and closed the door in his face. 

Sideswipe wiped the sweat from his brow and released a breath he had been holding. "She is scary." He whispered and walked away, but not without taking one more looked back at her door. Then he vanished back into his bipedal mode and made his way to the rec room. It was around six at night and the bots that didn't have duty tonight were in the rec room, cooling off. 

"Sideswipe, you look like you've seen a ghost." Autobot Skids shouted at him from across the room. "Maybe he did." His twin Mudflap added. 

"I didn't see a ghost you idiots." Sideswipe glared at the young twins and made his way to the cybertronian sized couch.

"What did you see?" The two came up behind him, leaning against the couch. 

"Nichole happened. I heard glass shatter from her room and just wanted to know if she was okay and she is scary, but said she was fine." Sideswipe explained. 

"You should probably let Lennox know what you heard." Mirage suggested. 

"Yeah your probably right." Sideswipe agreed, getting up and left the room, looking for the Major. 

He made his way down the hall, taking quick strides and watching out for humans. He walked into the hanger and saw Lennox on the cat walk talking to Optimus and Ironhide. He walked up but didn't get to close. 

"Do you need something Sideswipe?" Optimus asked noticing the red bot. 

"I actually need to tell Major Lennox something that happened with Nichole." He started. "What did you do to her?" Lennox immediately accused him. 

"I didn't do anything. I was just walking past her room and I heard glass shattering. I stopped to ask if she was alright. She said she was fine, but she seemed to be hiding behind the door. I just thought I should let you know." He said sheeply. 

"Thank you, I will go check on her in a moment." Lennox relaxed, glad that it wasn't something Sideswipe did. Sideswipe took his leave, leaving the three top dogs to finish their business. 

He hoped everything was alright with Nichole, he wasn't sure why he cared so much. He usually could care less about fleshies. Why was this one beginning to affect him? He thought maybe it had something to do with Sunstreaker. He had to find out.

Lennox made his way down to Nichole's room after he got finished talking to Optimus. He stopped in front of her door, brought his hand up ready to knock, but stopped. He wasn't sure if he should, but if she's hurt, she needs to get checked out. He gave a quiet groan and knocked on the door. He could here some shuffling coming from behind the door, but no answer. 

"Nichole! You okay in there?" He yelled knocking on the door again. The lock was heard being flipped back and the door slightly opened. She stuck her head out, making sure to keep her right arm out of view. 

"I'm fine. But I am going to need a new mirror. I was going to come to you after I cleaned it up." She slightly lied to the high-ranking officer. 

"How did you break the mirror?" He crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow. 

"It must not have been hung on the wall correctly and when I went to wipe it clean, it fell and shattered." She flat out lied, but she hid it to well. 

"Are you injured?" He believed her. "Just a few minor cuts, nothing I can't handle." She explained, then leaned back to close the door. "Let's just have Jolt take a quick look, to make sure its okay." He went to push the door open more, trying to get her to come out. 

"No that won't be necessary. I'm fine." She pushed.

"Why won't you go see a medical officer? We just want to make sure your alright. Nothing wrong with that." He moved to try and grab her, but she grabbed his wrist first. "I wouldn't try that if I were you." She warned. "Doctors and I don't get along. Autobot or not. I can tend to my own wounds." 

"You will have to go to the VA when its time to get those stiches taken out. You know, that right?" He took his wrist back, rubbing where she gripped tight. 

"Why? When I can take them out myself." She said seriously. Lennox brought his hand up and rubbed it down his face. 

"I really don't want to fight with you, but if you are staying here, you will follow the military protocol here. I am not going to let you take out your own stiches. If you won't go to the VA, then at least let Ratchet do it." He suggested. 

She let out a low growl, then a huff of defeat. "Fine, but I'm not going to see anyone about the random cuts on my hand, I can take care of that myself." She pointed a finger at him, eyes demanding. 

"That's fine. I do need to talk to you eventually. Not now, but I will probably send someone to get you tomorrow." He told her then left down the hallway. 

Nichole quickly closed the door, locking it back up. She leaned her back against the door and slid down to the floor. She brought her knees up close to her chest and wrapped one arm around her knees. She took her newly scraped up hand and examined it. Some of the cuts were deep, probably should have gotten stitches, but she wouldn't look weak. She decided she could do it herself, wrapping it up for now. She didn't realize how exhausted she was from her flight. As soon as her head hit the pillow she was out, but who knows how long, with her night terrors, she never knew if she would sleep that night or not. They only started after she lost Diesel. She didn't realize how much she relied on him until he was gone, and it was killing her. She rolled around in her sleep, wrapping the sheets around her. The night terrors already beginning. 

Meanwhile across base, a set of twins were beginning to fight. "I just want to know why I feel like this. There is clearly something going on and I need to know." Sideswipe yelled to his brother. "I don't fragging know why. I've never felt this shit either. Lets just try and ignore it the best we can for now." Sunstreaker suggested. Sideswipe gave him a nod, but still wish he could get answers. There was something off about this new girl. They both wanted to know why, neither of them understands. They decided to try and sleep it off. Maybe a good recharge would help them both. It took a bit for Sunstreaker to fall into recharge. His mind was a floating abyss, never ending. Nicole kept popping in and out of his mind. He continued to try and shake her away, only for her to come back in his mind. Her serious, scared up face, the gleam that shimmered over her eyes. He couldn't get it out of his helm. There was something there and he had no idea what it was, but he was going to figure it out. Even if it scared him to death. 

The next morning there would be repeated knocks Nichole's door. She gave a groan and rolled over looking at the clock. Sighing, noticing the knocks were not going to stop, she got up and answered the door. She was only wearing her old pt gear. Ugly military green shorts and t-shirt. The t-shirt happened to be tucked in, only cause that's how she's been wearing it for the past 8 years. She was always out in the field or deployed, rarely wore civilian clothes. It would feel odd to her to wear normal civilian pj's. She opened the door to see a lower ranking soldier standing in front of her door. Her hair was a mess, and she had bags under her eyes. The soldier stood for a moment taking in the sight of the Marine in front of him. 

"Yes." She growled. 

"Sorry, Major Lennox would like to see you at 0900 in his office." The soldier stepped back, clearly scared of the girl in front of him. 

"K" She replied closing the door in his face. 

It was 0800 when she got rudely woken up. It gave her time to shower and rebandage her hand. She grumbled to herself as she got ready for her shower. She made sure to get the water the perfect temperature, just the way she liked it, scolding. She used to get teased on how she liked showering with water that practically burned her skin. She never minded. It felt good on her worn-out body. It relieved the aches and pains from war. As she showered she made sure to be careful of the new fresh cuts on her skin. She had to use some special soap for her stiches, so they stayed clean and wouldn't get infected. It was nothing she wasn't already adapted too. She was used to getting hurt. It was like she was a magnet for it. Though she would only go into medical if it was serious or if Diesel made her. She probably would have never gotten her face stitched up if she wasn't dragged away. She would have stayed with Diesel until she died from blood loss. It would have been better that way, she thought. She had no motivation to stay alive. She didn't want to anymore. Not without Diesel, but no one would ever understand that. No one even knew about him, none alive anyway. 

She carefully wrapped the white cotton bandages around her hand, as if she was about to go boxing. It was the only way to get in between her fingers. She barely winced at the pain caused from the tight wrap. She made sure not to do it to tight, so not to cut off circulation. She shimmed on her wrinkled jeans from yesterday, hooking her belt. Then grabbed a t-shirt out of one of her bags. After she pulled it over her head, adjusting it, she brushed her tangled hair until it laid straight. Then tied it up in a loose bun. After checking her stitches, she left out the door and made her way to Major Lennox office. She walked with quickness and purpose. Others that were walking the other direction, shoved themselves out of the way. Not trying to be in her way. Even the Autobots stopped to watch her walk by. She never spared them a glance. Sunstreaker tried to keep his eyes off her, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't help but stare as she strutted past. He took in her sight, something inside him seemed to flutter, making him uncomfortable. He shook his helm to get her out of her head. He noticed the bandage on her right hand. Anger flared inside, it confused him. Why did he feel angry that she was hurt? He wanted to ask her, stop her. But his pride kept him standing still. She was already gone anyway. 

She continued to march to the Majors office. Once in front of it, she stopped to knock, knowing she couldn't just barge in. She heard a muffled "come in" come from the other side of the door. She slowly opened the door and slid inside. She stood at parade rest near the door. Lennox was looking over some paperwork. He gave a sigh and moved it all to the side before looking up at her. 

"You can come sit down." He motioned to the seat in front of him. 

"I prefer to stand." She simply replied. He ran his hand through his army short hair. Then looked back at her. 

"Alright. Well let's get started then. I need to fill some paperwork out for you, for while you stay here. Its just your basic information. So, don't get to worked up. There are a few that I would like you to try and answer though. Then we will be talking to Optimus and picking a guardian for you." When he finished he searched for some papers, grabbed a pen and started with the firsts few questions, not giving her a chance to whine about the guardian thing. They were basic questions, such as her social, last unit, phone number, the annoying ones everyone must go through. 

Nichole stayed where she was, answering the questions, though barely giving Lennox the time of day. Her cold stare keeping a look out around her. As if she was concerned something was going to happen. She only looked at him to answer the question then went back to wondering her eyes. Its when he started asking the personal questions, her eyes darkened, and her mouth twitched in anger. Her foot wanted to start tapping, anxiety seeming to take over, she wouldn't let it. 

"Where is your family located?" He asked not looking up. 

When she didn't say anything, he brought his head up and his eyes met hers. He seemed to flinch back for a moment, figuring out the answer, but not sure what to say. 

"You don't have any family, do you?" He finally let out in one breath. She looked down, giving him his answer. He eyes showed sadness and guilt. Making him think of his own family and how he would be if he lost them. "I'm sorry." He whispered. She heard him and looked up slightly, though glad he wasn't looking at her, for he would have seen the smallest tear forming in the corner of her eye. 

She quickly wiped the emotion away and composed herself before he looked up. "Diesel was the only family I had left. Before him, I was also alone. Please don't feel pity for me. I'm not the only one out there who has lost family." She spoke, her voice dead, lifeless. It caused a chill to run down the Major's spine. 

He decided to move to the next question, trying to get her voice out of his head. It honestly scared him. He hoped they would be able to help her become maybe who she was before all this happened to her. Though he had no idea who that was. 

"Okay, well that eliminates my next couple questions. Um, is there anyone else who knew about Diesel?" he asked trying to not choke on his words. 

"There was but they died about five years ago." "How did they die, may I ask?" "Doing their job. They were marines as well." She shot him a glare, hoping he would get the hint and stop.

"Can I get their names?" He continued not getting her hint. 

"Why does it matter? They are dead." She growled. Lennox wiped some sweat that was beginning to form on his forehead. He wasn't sure if he should continue now.

"I'm sorry I don't mean to upset you. We just want to know for record keeping purposes." He tried to explain to her. 

"Record keeping. Seriously? Why would you need keep records of who knew the Autobots? Especially dead ones. They kept Diesels secret. They died keeping it safe. So, you don't need to worry about anyone else knowing. They are supposed to be in disguise, aren't they? No one knowing who they are? Don't worry no one knew. My command had no clue until Diesel saved my life. So, if you need to worry about anyone, worry about who saw the after math." With those last dangerous words, she left the room. Slamming the door shut behind her. 

"Well that went well." Lennox mumbled to himself.


	4. Pull Me Away

On the other side of the door, Nichole brushed off her rage, trying to calm herself before she walked to her room. She knows she is supposed to meet with Optimus, but at this point she didn't care. She wants nothing to do with any of them. She wanted to go back to the solitude of her room. She didn't even want to be here. She was forced to be here. Her therapist said it would be good for her, it would help her. What was is helping? It only made her angry that everyone else got to live and her partner didn't. that those giant bastards didn't come and save him. When they knew he was alive, they knew, and they did nothing. She walked quickly through the hallway, through the hanger and she was almost to the other side when she was stopped. 

"Nichole!" An energetic voice yelled from across the room. She stopped short, clenching her hands at her sides. 

"Yes?" She growled as she turned to see who it was. The large metal footsteps shook the floor as the Autobot made its way to her. The large red bot knelt down to her level. 

"Where you going? We are about to go scouting, if you would like to join." He tried to sound cheery. He only tried, because he knew Optimus wanted them to get to know her and his brother was acting funny whenever her name was said. 

"No thanks, I'm going to my room." She went to turn and leave, but she heard her name called again. 

Optimus made his way across the hanger to where Sideswipe and she were standing. "Nichole, I believe we were supposed to talk about you getting a guardian." He crossed his arms, looking down at her. She snapped him a glare, not happy about the guardian thing. 

"I don't need a guardian. I can guard myself." She sneered, crossing her arms as well. "It is only for protection, incase you need to leave base." Optimus tried to explain. 

"Well I would already have a guardian if you wouldn't have let him die!" Her words stung. 

They were filled with hate. She showed no remorse for her words. Her dark gray eyes almost turned white with hate. Sideswipe backed away, for once actually afraid of a human. He had never met a human like her before. Looking between her and his leader. Optimus was unsure of what to say, but he couldn't hide that her words did hurt. She kept her death stare, making Optimus have to look away. He thought hard on what he should say, but there wasn't anything he could say. Nothing he could say would fix what happened. 

The hanger fell silent, the usual noise of trucks, people and Autobots seemed to stop at a standstill. They all heard her words. It was hard not to when she yelled them at the top of her lungs. Everyone's mouth was open in shock, not knowing what to say or think. Optimus then, without warning, fell to his knees in front of her. His guilt-ridden face staring into her hateful eyes. The world around them seemed to vanish. He could almost see it now, the pain and hurt that was lost in her eyes. She was breathing heavy, teeth bared, hands clenched in tight fists. He wanted to help with her pain, but as time slowed down, he began to lose sight of the hurt in her eyes. She knew how to hide her pain well, any emotion. Anger seemed to be the only one she would display. It wasn't until Lennox came running into the bay, that she tore herself away from the staring contest and walked briskly to her barracks room. 

"What just happened?" Lennox asked Optimus, who was still kneeling, watching her walk away. Once out of view he turned and looked at Lennox. He looked down, not really able to look at the Major. He didn't know what to say or how to say what just happened. 

"She needs to go, Sir." One of the soldiers spoke up, he had seen the whole confrontation. "She's not human. She just disrespected Prime. She doesn't think before she speaks." Another butted in. A few others agreed. The bots did as well. Except for Prime, Sideswipe and Lennox, they were the only ones who have yet to say anything. 

"She just needs some time. She lost the only one she ever thought as family. I understand she is...a lot, but maybe you all should put yourselves in her shoes." Lennox snapped at everyone in the room. Then stormed out of the room himself. Some of the soldiers bowed their heads, understanding the feeling. Some kept on their angered faces, while others went back to work. Jazz walked up to Optimus, putting a comforting servo on his shoulder. 

"Optimus, ya a'right?" Optimus looked up from the kneeling position he was still in. 

"Sideswipe, I feel you and your twin will be the best for her. You two have the most in common I fear. I know your twin wants nothing to do with her, but I think you two will be the best help for her." standing after receiving a nod from Sideswipe, Optimus walked away. 

Sideswipe stood there for a moment, thinking over what he was just told. How was he going to explain this to Sunny? He had no clue. He was sure his twin would snap his head off at the news. After pondering for few more moments, he left to go find his twin. Which wasn't two hard, he was in the training room, like always, if he wasn't on a mission or painting. He thought about what Lennox had shouted in the hanger. She has no family. She was alone. Him and Sunny were once alone, but they always had each other in the end. They had to grow up fast, struggle to survive. He couldn't figure out what they could have in common with her. The only thing would be no family. But they kinda had a family know. All of them Autobots were a family. The Nest members were like family. Sure, they didn't all get along, but they all worked well together. He thought about how he would react if he lost Sunstreaker. Then maybe he could put himself in her shoes. He would probably cut himself off from the world, like she's trying to do now. Sideswipe was so deep in his thoughts he almost walked past the training room. 

"Sunny!" He called out as he walked into the training room. Sunstreaker was in the back doing some hand to hand combat training with Ironhide. 

"Don't call me that!" Right as he finished, Ironhide socked him in the jaw, making him tumble to the ground. Sideswipe gave a guilty grin while his brother gave him a death glare. 

"Don't take your eyes off your opponent, Sunstreaker. Could of killed ya." Ironhide stated helping the downed mech up. He gave a nasty glare to the weapon specialist, before standing up and walking away with Sideswipe. 

"So, what do you want so bad you had to let me get punched for it." He growled. 

"I'm sorry, but I got some bad news." Sideswipe said with a guilty smile. 

"What?" Sunstreaker spoke though clenched teeth. 

"Well..um...Optimusmadeusguardiansofnichole." Sideswipe said so fast, Sunstreaker was barely able to understand. 

"What?" He asked again facing his brother and leaning in closer. 

"Optimus assigned us to be....Nicholes guardians." The last part Sideswipe whispered, leaning away from his brother. 

Sunstreaker heard him, yet still asked again, "What did you say?" 

Sideswipe's optics went wide, unsure of what to say. Sunstreaker didn't want to believe him. he wanted nothing to do with the fleshy. Just then Mirage walked in, the minute he laid optics on Sunstreaker he started laughing. 

"What, Mirage, want to get punched in the face?" Sunstreaker got into a warrior stance. 

"I just think its so funny, that the one human you have been trying to avoid is now your charge." He said loudly for everyone else to hear. Ironhide and some of the other bots in the room started to roar with laughter. Sunstreaker tried to lunge at Mirage, but before he could he was grabbed by Sideswipe and Ironhide. They struggled to hold him back. Mirage back tracked, putting his servos up and clenched into fists. Ready to fight if needed. Metal upon metal screeched throughout the training room. Grunting, wheezing and panting could be heard from the two bots holding back Sunstreaker. Sunstreaker pulled with all his might. His eyes flashing red, his teeth clenched, if he was human his hands would be turning white and palms bleeding, but instead his metal servos were denting in on themselves, energon began to leak. 

Nichole was out looking for the training room as she was able to calm down enough in her room. Now she needed to punch something. If she couldn't shoot she needed to train. Though she isn't sure why she needs to train anymore. What's the point? Though, she's not allowed to do any kind of strenuous work. That didn't stop her, she needed to release some stress. She tried to remember which way the training room was. She realized she was going the right way when she heard grunting and metal on metal. But she didn't know what to make of the sight she was about to see as she turned to walk in. There she saw Sunstreaker being held back by Sideswipe, Ironhide, and a few others. Mirage was standing off set, looking scared. She could see the bots strain to keep him back. She was curious on to what he was so angry about. But she didn't care enough to go ask. She stood leaning against the door way. She always loved a good fight and she wanted to see how this would play out. 

She took in Sunstreaker's form. How he was able to keep himself held forward, still trying to get away from the bots holding him back. She could see his optics readjust each time they flickered red. What was he so mad about? She wondered to herself. Her eyes scanned down his body, taking in his features, his armor. His chest rose up and down as he pumped oxygen through his system, his cooling fans on high. A smirk formed on her face. She likes watching him struggle. It made him almost attractive. It wasn't until his optics found hers. He immediately stopped struggling. His optics stopped flashing and seemed to zoom in on her. The smirk wiped from her face. Her eyes locked with his. He shook off the bots holding him and made his way to her. A growl threatened to escape his lips as he stopped in front of her. Everyone waiting him anticipation for what was about to happen. She didn't move as he stopped in front of her. She didn't even flinch. Something most people could do. 

"Looks like Sides and I are your guardian, fleshy." He snarled at her. She crossed her arms, raising her eyebrow at him. 

"Oh, really and who said that." She snarled right back. 

"Optimus Prime." This time it was Sideswipe stepped forward, confidence shine through his vocal cords. She looked up at him and back at Sunstreaker. Sunstreaker had a smirk on his face, waiting for her to blow. She bit her lip, trying to suppress her anger. She looked to the ground, then back up to Sunstreaker and a smile spread on her face and she started to laugh, shaking her head. They were taken back at her laughter. It seemed evil in a scary sort of way. She looked away again, her eyes wondering until they landed back on the two bots who said they were her guardians. 

"Just because Prime says that you're my guardians, doesn't mean anything. If you think I'm going to let you replace my real guardian, your high. If you think you will be able to compare to him, your drunk. Stay away from me. Both of you, all of you. I don't need any of your protection. I would rather die than let any of you protect me." She shouted abrasively, letting her anger get the best of her. She began to shake, tears threatened to escape. Sides mouth hung open, unsure of what to say. Sunstreaker stayed straight face and focused on her. 

His mind was running, racing, processing what she said. She was more than furious. He watched her small form shake, he could hear her teeth clench and grind together. His spark began to race, he didn't know what to say or do. Part of him wants to squish her, but another part wants to calm her down. Some bots ran out of the training room, Nichole nor Sunstreaker didn't seemed to care. Their staring contest seemed to continue. 

"Sunny." Sideswipe anxiously said his brother's name, hoping to distract the two. Nichole decided to be the bigger person, but she also felt something, something she's never felt before. She turned quickly and left, not without a last glare towards Sunstreaker. Sunstreaker watched her leave with confusion written on his face plate. As mad as he was right now, his spark was telling him to go get her. He turned to his brother and started to walk past him. Sideswipe stopped him, and they looked at each other. 

"Go get her." Sunstreaker scoffed. "Why would I go after someone that clearly hates me, hates us?" Sunstreaker mocked with a fake laugh. 

"I know you want to. Your spark is trying to pull you to her." Explained Sideswipe. 

"No, I won't. My spark doesn't know what it wants. But it sure as hell don't want her." He looked away from his twin and walked away.

*--------------------*

No one knew where she went. Its been a few hours, almost midafternoon, since they've seen her. Lennox had every soldier available looking for her. Optimus and the Autobots were searching the grounds around base. Sunstreaker was even helping, against his wishes. They were on the verge of giving up. Sideswipe had an idea. 

"Lennox, any luck?" Optimus asked rolling up behind the twins in the hanger. 

"No, we've searched every inch of this base." Lennox ran his fingers through his hair. The three transformed. 

"I may have an idea." Sideswipe interjected. They looked at him in confusion. 

"What! I can have ideas." He defended. 

"Let's hear it." Optimus encouraged. 

"Let Sunny find her." Again, everyone looked confused. Sunstreaker gives him a warning glare. 

"Sunny seems to have a weird pull to her, maybe he can try and use it to find her." Sideswipe could fell his brothers anger flood through their bond, profanities following. Sunstreaker moved to physically hit his brother but was stopped before he could. 

"Is this true, Sunstreaker?" Optimus stepped in, all eyes were now on the golden twin. Sunstreaker looked away from a moment, thinking about what he should say. 

"I don't understand it yet. But the more I try to stay away from her, the more I want to be around her. I feel the need to protect her. To calm her when she's mad, to hurt whoever hurt her. Seeing her hand wrapped angered me to no end. When she screamed at me, saying she wanted nothing to do with us, it hurt. I felt the need to tell her I'm sorry. I hate it. I want it to stop. I always end up wherever she is." He explained peeking up, surprised of what came out of his mouth. 

"Do you feel the pull to her now?" Lennox asked. 

"I've been suppressing it. So, no I'm not." He said blankly, looking down at the major. 

"Try and open the bond. I feel that you two both have a pull to each other. She may have yet to realize it. I don't know why or how. That is something we will have to discuss with Ratchet when he gets back." Optimus suggested. Sunstreaker gave a disgusted look. 

"No. She can stay lost. My spark is just confused. If she stays gone, maybe it will go away." He crossed his arms and looked away. 

"Come on Sunny. What if something happened to her. We need her, so she can tell us what happened." Sideswipe pleaded. Sunstreaker thought for a moment. Not liking the idea at all, but part of him wanted to find her. Its like he needed to know she was alright. 

"Fine" He growled. "But I don't have to like it" He added heading to his and Sideswipes room. 

"Where are you going?" Sideswipe yelled after him. 

"To try and find her! I need quiet." He yelled back without turning around. 

She has only been there two days and she hated it. She would rather be back in Afghan shooting some terrorist. Driving around through the mounds of sand with Diesel. Sleeping under the stars. Holding her weapon close to her, keeping it shiny and clean. After her argument with Sunstreaker she ran off. Looking for a place to hide. Which wasn't that hard. She was right under their noses and they had no idea. Well actually above them. She laid on her stomach watching people scrambling to find her. If she could of, she would have left base, but that would only cause more havoc. It surprised her that no one had thought to look up, or even saw her climb up here. She laid there staring down below. The rafters were a great place to go. There is enough beams going across to conceal her, but if she made one wrong move, she would be flattened like a pancake. 

She overheard the bots and humans talking. There were so many points in their talked, when she just wanted to jump down and tell them to shut up. But then she would have to explain why she was up there. Why she ran off. She knew she was going to get a lot of hell for this, but she really didn't care at this moment. She needed to relax, and this was a way she could do it, without punching or shooting things. If only Diesel was here. He would know what to do to save her from this hell hole. As she was about to roll onto her back she heard Sideswipe, Sunstreaker and Optimus drive into the hanger. She couldn't help but listen into their conversation. She focused on them talking to Lennox. It was hard to hear, probably because her hearing wasn't so great, you know with bombs going off and shooting guns and stuff, but she did hear Sunstreaker talk. She heard what he said. It seemed to start something down deep inside of her. Was it her heart beginning to beat again after being dead for so long? She wasn't sure how to describe the feeling. He felt something for her. He wanted to protect her, care for her. 

When Optimus said they might have a bond of some kind. Her blood began to boil. There was no way she wanted a connection to that giant golden plated asshole. As quickly the feeling came, it was gone. They wanted him to find her and she wasn't going to let that happen. She would have to keep an eye out, try and find a new spot. Though it wasn't proved they had something, so Optimus could be wrong. So, she decided to stay where she was. She watched him stalk off to try and open the stupid bond. Rolling over and staring up at the ceiling, she wasn't going to worry. To her this was all a bunch of hocus pocus. Her name was still being called, soldiers still searching for her. She just laid there, waiting for nothing. Probably won't come down tell they give up and go to bed. 

Sunstreaker stomped into his and his twins room. e had no idea how he was going to try and feel her. He didn't even want to try this. He wanted nothing to do with her. Sideswipe could feel his anger through the bond and tried to help calm him. Sunstreaker decided to block him instead. He paced back and forth, trying to figure this out. Pacing wasn't going to help him, so he sat down on the berth, ending up laying down, staring up at the ceiling. He started to picture Nichole in his mind. Her long brown hair that seems to float behind her when she walks. Her piercing stony gray eyes, cutting though his spark. Even the scar on her face looked attractive to him. She had seen pain, just like him. She knows what its like to feel broken. She wears the scar with pride, not caring what people say about it. Though most people don't. He started thinking of doing things with her. Holding her coarse hand in his soft holoform ones, seeing her smile at him. He doesn't even know what she looks like wearing a smile, except smirk.

His spark seemed to feel heavy. Seemed to be pulling towards something. He wanted to reach out and grab what ever it was. He reached towards the ceiling but grabbed nothing. He pictured her in his mind again. Her briskly walking down the hall, trying to get to anywhere fast. Her aft fitting those jeans she wears just right. His spark was beginning to hurt now, the pull was getting to strong. He sat up, trying to bring the rate of his spark down. He had no idea what was happening to him. It was getting on his circuits. His servo laid on his armor above his spark. He thought his spark was going to pull right out of his chest. He opened his spark chamber, the tentacles from his spark shot out into the air but didn't go vary far. He could feel every time it would move back to try and push forward. It was a long shot, but he decided to try and follow it.

He didn't pull against it as he ran down the hall, his spark exposed. Autobots jumped back in surprise, seeing the bright white-blue light coming from Sunstreaker. 

"Sunstreaker! What are you doing?" Sideswipe yelled as Sunstreaker slid into the hanger. He didn't stop to answer his brother, he just kept going. He reached the middle of the hanger and slowed to a walk. He walked to the other end of the bay. The tentacle from his spark started to point up. 

"Did you find her?" Sideswipe asked coming up next to his brother. 

"She's somehow up there." He whispered point up. He looked back at his brother in amazement. Everyone in the hanger looked up, but the way the rafters were set, you couldn't tell if someone was up there or not. 

"Someone's going to have to go up there." Lennox stated the obvious. Sunstreaker transformed and online his holoform. He quickly made his way up the ladders and ledges, trying to get up to the rafters without falling down. He got up and had to figure out a way to get on the rafters. There was no place skinny enough for him to fit though. 

"Nichole!" He yelled, his husky voice echoing though the rafters. There was a surprise yell down a little way, echoing back to him. She had fallen asleep, so she didn't get a chance to move. 

"How the fuck did you find me?" She growled back. 

"Does it matter? I found you, now get over here so we can get down!" Sunstreaker yelled back. 

"Why should I?" She spat. Neither could see each other, just hear. 

"You've been missing for over five hours. You're not even supposed to be up here. Just get over here." 

"Nope, I'm good." 

"Femme your testing my patients." 

"That's cool" He gave a low growl to her sarcastic answer. 

He pulled against the opening, to try and get to her. It would have been a lot easier if he was in his real form. He was able to shove it away just a little more, enough for him to shimmy though. She saw him crawl though and made her way to the other end. Unfortunately for her, she could only get so far until it was blocked. 

The soldiers and Autobots down below were yelling up to them, to be careful. She was leaning against the wall. Glancing at Sunstreaker and looking around her, trying to find another way. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the slim opening to the right, there was a thick electrical wire, thick enough for her to hang on. She quickly looked at Sunstreaker then back out. He was moving fast, she had to make a move fast. He noticed her looking away. 

"Don't you dare!" He said quickening his pace. She gave a smirk, then jumped. Grabbing ahold of the wire. Everyone down gasp in shock. Optimus and Sideswipe quickly got underneath her to catch her in case she fell. Lennox and Epps were furious. They couldn't believe how stupid she was being. Though, they stayed below and watched as she began swinging her legs and wrapping them around the wire. Then she shimmied her way across to the other side. Sunstreaker was looking out at her in amazement and anger. 

She kept crawling until she came to a point were the wires were hooked, attached to the ceilings beam. She was going to have to find a way to maneuver around it, to get to the other side, which wouldn't be easy. Everyone watched, eager to see the outcome. Yelling had ceased, and it became hushed below her. She concentrated on her movements. One wrong move and she would fall. Sunstreaker turned his holoform off and went back to bipedal mode. He walked underneath her, still hanging from the wires. 

"Let go!" He yelled to her. She looked at him in confusion. He had his arms out, prepared to catch her. 

"I'll catch you." He promised. 

"What makes you think I was planning to get down?" she swung herself up and latched to the beam and was able to haul herself up. She sat up, her legs straddling the beam. She looked down to everyone with a smirk written across her face. 

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe both gave a low growl. All of them tired of her antics. It was time for her to come down, whether she liked it or not. 

"Get down here!" Lennox yelled up to her. 

"Why do I need to get down. Am I hurting anyone?" She said sarcastically. There were mummering throughout the crowd, agreeing with her statement. 

"No, but you could hurt yourself." He shouted back. 

"Oh, I wouldn't just get hurt, I'd probably be die." She chuckled to herself. It doesn't sound like a bad idea to her. 

"Nichole, please come down." Sunstreaker and Sideswipe said at the same time. 

"Well since you said please." She looked around her, looking for a way down. The cat walk was in the middle of the room. She would have to crawl back, but even then, it was a long way down. There was no way she would let herself be caught by an Autobot. She felt they would only let her splatter on the floor below. The only way for her to get down safely, well to her standards, would be to crawl back to the other side. So that's exactly what she did. 

"Do you have any idea how dangerous that was!?!?!" Lennox Fumed. 

"You're a Sargent, an adult. You shouldn't have to be treated like a child. Did the Marines never teach you how to grow up?" He continued to yell at her. She stood there taking it. She knew she was going to get hell for what she did. There are many reasons behind what she did. Was she going to tell them? No, it was none of their business. Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, Optimus stood behind the angry major, equal angry faces on them as well. She kept her eyes on Lennox, letting him continue. When he realized he wasn't going to get a reaction out of the women, he put his hands on his head and attempted to pull at his hair. 

"I suggest you go to your room. I don't want to tell you what to do, but you need to stay out of trouble and stay safe." He rubbed the bridge of his nose in between his fingers. 

"Yes, Sir." And she left to her room, not looking back. 

They all watched as she walked to her room. They weren't sure what to make of her now. She clearly had no care about her life. 

"What is the plan?" Optimus bellowed down to Lennox. 

"I don't know. Her superiors weren't wrong about her. I thought when they said she was hard to control and handle. They just meant it as she occasionally talked back. I mean she is a NCO for Gods sakes. She sure doesn't act like it." He paced back and forth as he talked, one hand behind his back and the other resting on his chin. 

"Maybe some solitary confinement will do her some good." Sunstreaker added his two cents. His brother looked at him with a look of "really idiot". 

"I don't think that will do anyone any good." Lennox chuckled. 

"I thought it was a good idea." Sunstreaker pouted, crossing his arms and looked away from them. 

"I don't know what to do with her. We can't include her in on training until her stiches are healed. She's not allowed a gun until her MO clears her mental health. I don't know anything about her to know what she likes to do." The others nodded in agreement. 

"Well she wants nothing to do with us. I'd say we could take her racing or play video games." Sideswipe offered. They knew it would be less than two weeks when her partner would arrive. They have yet to tell her about it either. They weren't even sure if they should. They haven't heard from Ratchet if he has made it or not. Lennox didn't want to get her hopes up just for him not to make it. 

"Let's give her some space at the moment." Lennox decided. 

"Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, keep an eye out for her. Check on her at reasonable times. She needs to know we are still here for her. Whether she wants it or not." Optimus ordered. The twins nod in understanding and leave the bay. 

"I will try and get ahold of Ratchet. She might be easier to handle if she knows her partner is coming here." Optimus suggested. 

"That's a good idea. Let me know what you find out." Optimus gave a nod and walked off. Lennox started to yell at other soldiers to get back to work. The show was over.

The week went by without anymore hitches. Unfortunately there was no word from Ratchet and they would be arriving in a few more days. Nichole stayed in her room most of the time. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, well mostly Sideswipe tried to get her to come out of the room more, but that wasn't going to happen if she could help it. Sunstreaker spent time with Jolt trying to figure out how he was able to find her. Why his spark pulled to her. He wasn't happy about it and Jolt didn't know the answer either. They were going to have to wait for Ratchet to get back to find out more information. For now, Sunstreaker would do his best to block the pull. Block Nichole out of his mind. Though, sometimes it was difficult. He wasn't ready to accept that his spark wanted her. He wanted to know why it did. What was so special about the ignorant fleshie. She was a selfish, heartless, broken fleshy. He wouldn't even want one that was whole. That had no scars and had emotions. They were squishy and disgusting. 

Nichole was done being stuck in her room. She didn't want to stay in there in the first place, but she felt like it was the only place she could be left alone. Though it didn't help when Sideswipe or Sunstreaker or both kept knocking on her door ever few hours. She liked to be outside or just moving around. She wasn't allowed to train, but that wasn't going to stop her. She decided she was going to go into the training room after everyone went to bed. She needed to get the restlessness out of her system. It was driving her crazy. When midnight rolled around, she rolled out of bed. She wrapped her hands up. Pulled on a loose pair of sweat pants and pulled a skivi shirt over her head. She tied up her running shoes, then pulled her long hair in a loose pony. Now she had to sneak to the training room. The door opened a crack, she peeked through to see if any guards were walking around. Coast clear and she bolted down the hall. 

Sunstreaker had finally been able to lay down and attempt to recharge. Trying to block Nichole takes a lot more energy than it should. Sideswipe passed out with no problems, not before asking him a million questions again about his spark half. It wasn't until he was just about to let recharge take him that he felt it. He felt a ping in his spark chamber. He felt it reaching for something. He growled, running his servos over his face. 

His face scrunched up in anger at his spark. "What do you want now?" He whispered, trying not to wake Sideswipe. He was too tired to try and block the pull but didn't want to get off the berth. After a few more minutes he couldn't stand the tugging.

"Ugh Fine! I'll go." He growled lowly and made his way off the berth and out of the room. He slouched as he walked slowly down the hall, following the way his spark was telling him to go. 

Out in the hall, making her way to the training room. She had been able to sneak around guards on duty and found the training room. It was empty like she assumed it would be. Her hope was for no one to come in, but the idea of getting caught was thrilling. She made her way to the back of the large room, to the kick boxing area. She was going to have to be careful, not wanting to pull out any stitches.  
First, she would start out with doing the basics, sit ups, pushups, planks and some others. It got the heart rate going and sweat began to seep out of her pores. Next, she went over the boxing bags to begin some hand to hand combat training. Though, it was a lot more fun with someone, because she usually took her anger out on the poor sap that had to tango with her. Her focus stayed on the bag, fist making hard contact with the bag, making it swing back and forth. Jab, cross, Left hook, Right hook, repeat. Round kick, front kick, jumping lunge, switch, repeat. She tried to keep her grunts to a minimum, not wanting wondering ears to hear. Though, a pair of audio receptors picked up her huffs not to long after she started. 

Sunstreaker stood leaning against the door frame, watching the cold hearted fleshie work out. His spark stopped pulling when he turned to walk into the room. He wondered why his spark pulled him to the room. Upon hearing the grunts and groans, he saw her fists connecting with the punching bag. He could see the sweat trailing down her face, her eyes focused on the task at hand, her teeth clenched together with each hit. He could see her muscles bulge under the thin t-shirt sticking her glistening skin. He had never really paid attention to the other soldiers when they worked out, but with her, he couldn't take his optics off. He broke out of his trance when he saw her stumble back, holding her hand up to her cheek. She caught herself, leaning against the wall. Her head was staring at the floor for a moment, but now she was able to feel the optics on her. Her head snapped up and her eyes met his. He could see now why she faltered. The side of her cheek, right in line of the stiches, blood was tracing itself down the side of her face. His sparked reached for her again, wanting to stop her pain. He wanted to go into his holoform, grab a first aid kit and take care of her. It was hard to see her in this position, even when she did it to herself. 

Pain flashed over her eyes, the broken stitch hurting more than she anticipated. She didn't want Sunstreaker, or anyone, to see her this way. No one was supposed to know she was they're in the first place. Sunstreaker transformed and online his holoform. He went into the bathrooms near the door leading in and came out with a wet towel. He slowly made his way to Nichole, never taking his eyes off of her. Neither spoke as he came closer to her. His holoform short blond hair, bright energon blue eyes, chiseled jaw that was clean shaven. He was dressed in a golden t-shirt that fitted to his muscular torso, his pecks were defined and could be seen through the shirt. If Nichole were to touch his stomach, she would feel the six pack underneath. He had on a pair of faded black jeans that hugged his waist and a pair of golden-yellow high tops. She took a step back as he drew closer, her hand covering her wound. Knowing what he was trying to do, she wanted nothing to do with it. 

"Let me help you. I won't tell anyone you were in here. okay?" He reached out to put the wet cloth on her cheek, blood was seeping through her hand and down her neck. Her eyes glanced from the towel to Sunstreaker and back. She kept stepping back until she hit the wall. Now she had no where to go. She could run to the side, but risk getting blood everywhere. 

"I'm not going to hurt you. I promise." He whispered as he lightly removed her hand from her cheek. A shiver ran down her back at his touch. His spark seemed to stop for only a second. He quickly brought the towel up and covered the reopened wound. 

"You know that was pretty stupid of you. You know you aren't supposed to be doing heavy activity." He tired to stay calm, but he was getting angry now for what she had done to herself. Her eyes looked away from him, not saying anything. 

"Let's get you to Jolt, so he can stitch you back up." She snapped her eyes back to him and a scowl formed on her face. 

"I can redo it myself." She put her hand on the towel pressed against her cheek, then slapped Sunstreaker's hand away. 

"No, you don't have to do that." He argued. 

"I've done it before, I can do it again." She started to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist to stop her. 

"You're not at war anymore. You're not even in the military anymore. Help is here, just take it." He growled. 

"Why do you even care?" She tired to keep her voice down, ripping her hand out of his grip. He clenched his teeth. He didn't have an answer for her and he didn't want to tell her about his spark pulls. 

"Exactly. Do not speak of this to anyone or I'll rip out your spark." She threatened leaving the training room. 

"Your welcome." He mumbled under his breath before going back into bipedal mode.


	5. Your not worth my time

Major Lennox, Epps, some other soldiers and a few Autobots waited in the hanger. Optimus had made Sideswipe and Sunstreaker take Nichole out in town for a few hours. It took Sideswipe, Lennox and Epps to try get her to go with Sideswipe. She was so against it. She wanted nothing to do with going out in town. Lennox tried to convince her she needed fresh air and to get out after being stuck here for two weeks. It took Sunstreaker's holoform coming and picking her up and shoving her into his alt to get her to shut up. Sideswipe, Lennox and Epps were shocked at what he did, but they weren't going to say anything. They were just glad to get her out of the hanger. The twins knew the plan. Not that they really agreed to it, but they didn't have a choice. Sideswipe followed his brother, doing a burnout in the hanger before speeding off.  
Now the rest were all waiting for Optimus and Ironhide to come back with Ratchet and Diesel. Lennox paced back and forth. He wouldn't admit it, but he was nervous, and it wasn't about meeting a new Autobot. It was Nichole's reaction when she found out they all knew he might alive. Epps tried to calm his friend down, but he himself was also scared. It wasn't long before blue and red Peterbilt rolled into the hanger and after it was a lime green ambulance. Optimus and Ratchet transformed as a desert tan MKR16 rolled in. His form was covered in weld marks acting as scars until Ratchet could do a better job at buffing him. He driver side windshield was missing and the front was cracked, and he drove with one of the middle tire missing on the driver side of the five that were supposed to be there. He looked a little lopsided. He stayed in his alt, not transforming like the rest. Ironhide rolled in last and transformed.  
It was silent throughout the hanger, waiting for something to happen. After a few moments, Lennox walked up and took a closer look at the tactical vehicle. He tried to welcome the silent truck but got nothing. "Is he okay?" Lennox turned to Ratchet. "He won't transform until he sees Sargent James." Lennox gave an ahh sound to Ratchet, understanding him. Ratchet explained what happened to Diesel, just his injuries not how he got them, and how all he wanted to do was get back to his partner. "Well she isn't here at the moment. We wanted to make sure you were alright and taken care of before we brought her back." Lennox explained. He felt odd talking to the truck. He felt like it wasn't an Autobot, by him not getting anything in return. "She will be excited to see you, I'm sure. She's told us a lot about you." He continued.  
"She doesn't know I'm alive, does she?" A hoarse deep voice echoed throughout the hanger, making everyone jump. "No, she doesn't." Lennox looked away, eyes to the floor, rubbing the back of his neck. "You all knew I was alive, why would you keep it from her? Optimus told me you are all trying to help her. You think keeping me a secret would help. You want to gain her trust, you will probably never earn it now. Have you not learned anything about her while she's been here? I know for a fact she is not easy to work with." Still in his alt as he ranted. "Your right she has not been easy on us since she came here. We are hoping you can give us some insight on to why she is the way she is." Lennox hoped. "Ha if she hasn't told you. I sure won't. I will never betray her. Trust is number one to her. It took me four years to get her to talk to me and even then, I wouldn't be surprised if she still keeps things from me. I spent eight years with her and I plan to spend many more. We are family. Would you betray your family?" His question shot chills down all their backs. All Lennox could do was nod. He had yet to transform, but Lennox could feel a hard glare being shot at him.  
"Contact Sideswipe. Tell him and Sunstreaker to bring Nichole back." Optimus ordered. Diesel seemed to relax hearing those words, sinking down a bit on his wheels. "While we are waiting for her, lets finish fixing you up." Ratchet suggested. Diesel gave a low grunt but followed none the less. Lennox stayed back with Optimus and Ironhide. "Has he said anything about the battle that took place?" Lennox asked. Watching the new bot round the corner. "No, he has not. We are going to wait after he's been with Nichole first, before we sit down for a serious talk." Optimus explained. "Want to have Nichole in on the meeting?" "We will most likely have no choice. He has made it clear, she will not be leaving his side." "Are they?" Lennox made a motion with his hands, coming together and intertwining. Optimus gave a low chuckle. "No, they are not together. He feels more of a father figure to her if anything. They have been through too much to feel that way for each other." Lennox nodded.  
It wasn't long before two Lamborghinis drove into the hanger. As soon as Sideswipe came to a stop, his passenger door was flung open and an angry Nichole stormed out, not greeting or acknowledging anyone in the room. She went straight to the hallway to her room. "Nichole!" Called Sideswipe, his holoform running after her. She wasn't really that angry, she was just done spending the day with the twins. She could only stand being around people for so long. She did enjoy her day, but she would never admit it. She ignored Sideswipe, so Lennox tried to call her. She ignored him as well. "Nichole, we have someone you need to see." Lennox yelled after her. She slowed to a stop and turned, looking at him with interest. "Please... please come to the med bay with me." Lennox held his hand out for her to follow. She scoffed at him but followed anyway. Sweat lightly fell down the major's forehead as they walked down the other hallway. He glanced at her, her gaze was set in front of her. When they got to the med bay, she gasped.  
"Is this some kind of sick joke?" She growled, her icy stare boring through Lennox. "No, I promise this is not a joke." He defended, backing up from her. "What are you doing to his body?!?" She screamed at the medic as she stormed into the area. Ratchet jumped in surprise, never meeting the girl, but he figured out who it was right away. "I'm repairing him." "He's dead, what's there to repair?" The 16 had yet to move, mainly because he was in shut down for repairing and she didn't know it. "No, he's alive. I was able to save him in time." Ratchet stared down at her. "I put him in recharge to do more of the sensitive repairs. He will awake in a few moments." He continued before she could get another word out. She huffed not believing him and ran to the driver side of the truck. Ratchet sensed this and attempted to stop her, but it was no use. So, he started waking up the patient. It was not long before he proved her wrong. The MKR16 started to shake and rattle. Once awake, spark humming loudly, his frame settling on his wheels, he felt her touch. "Nichole?" The truck transformed, gears moving, hydraulics hissing. She backed up to give him room. The bright wide electric blue of Diesel's optics were staring into the deep stone grays of Nichole's eyes and a wide smile forming on his scared face plate.  
"Your...your alive?" She stuttered. She faltered. Her tough exterior failed her for that moment. She took a step towards him only to stumble and fall to her knees. Lennox and Sideswipe, who was still in his holoform, went quick to help her. Diesel got to her first, picking her up ever so gently. As if she was a porcelain doll that already had a few cracks. He brought her up, closer to his face and looked over her. A small tear threatened to escape his optics as he traced his digit lightly down her scar. She wrapped her arms around that digit, hugging him close. Tears already streaming down her face. He was the only to ever see her cry and as much as she didn't want to cry in front of the soldiers standing in the room, she couldn't stop herself. "I...I thought you...you were dead." She struggled to get the words out. Her eyes squeezed shut as she gripped the bot. "Shh don't cry. I'm here now." He cooed to her, like a father would a child.  
They stayed that way for a while, not caring what was going on around them. They were just glad to be back together. Meanwhile, Sideswipe had gone back to his bipedal form and him and Sunstreaker were leaning against the wall on the opposite of the med bay. Sideswipe thought it was honestly a cute sight, it made him think about him and Sunstreaker. Sunstreaker stood with a scowl on his face. Glaring at the couple. He didn't understand why it made him angry, but he, for some reason, didn't want the new bot to hold the belligerent fleshy. He thought about what happened before they had to come back to base. He had forced her into his alt and she fought the whole time. Though, it didn't take long for her to give up. Or she simply stopped caring. They took her to mall. The twins had no idea what to do, so the first thing that came to their mind was the mall. Girls like malls and shopping right, boy were they wrong. The only store she wanted to go to, was the hunting store and checked out the guns. Unfortunately for her, she is restricted and isn't allowed to have a gun at the moment. Something she is trying to change.  
They did do something that could get all three of them in a lot of trouble. Sunstreaker noticed how she acted around the guns and guessed that she was probably itching to shoot something. So, him and Sideswipe decided to take her to a shooting range. When they walked in, they got some odd looks, well Nichole did not the twins. Her scar stood out among the crowd, but she never wavered. She walked with her head held high, hands in her pockets. The twins walked behind her, while she led the way. It made the twins look like her body guards. Everyone seemed to move out of their way as they walked to the counter to purchase a spot on the range. Nichole didn't pay attention to the stares she was getting, only looking out for danger. Sunstreaker did noticed, making anger flood through him. He sent death glares to the men and women giving them odd looks. He paid attention to everything going on around them. When they went into the range to start shooting, he seemed to move closer to Nichole. Not wanting to be to far from her.  
This was the twins first time shooting an actual human weapon. Nichole had to teach them how to shoot the pistol she gave them. Sunstreaker seemed hypnotized by with the words slipping past her lips. She was the most relaxed the twins have seen since they first met her. There was no yelling or screaming at each other. She still had the straight face and soulless eyes, but teaching them, she put soul into her words. She showed them how passionate she was for the weapons. She didn't need to say the words. They just knew she was in her element. Sideswipe noticed how his twin reacted to the scared women. He wasn't sure he liked how well he was taken by her. It made him feel uneasy watching her teach him how to hold it. Her touching his hands, helping him position the weapon. She kicked his right foot and pushed his shoulders forward. None of the touching was anything but an instructor to a student type touching. Just the fact that she was touching Sunstreaker made him upset. He could feel his twin enjoying the touch, whether his twin knew it or not.  
She was the same way with Sideswipe, her movements seeming robotic like she was with Sunstreaker. He saw now what his brother enjoyed. How much she knew about the weapon itself opened your eyes to who she is. Her touch brought light chills to his body. She made sure he had a good stance before anything, but also made a point of saying, you would almost never have a chance in combat to form a good stance. Sideswipe looked at her as she explained. He could see the hurt in her eyes, he was able to notice before she wiped it away. Sunstreaker noticed it to, even though it was only there for a few seconds. What happened to her, that even doing something she obviously loved, hurt her to do so. He didn't know if he would ever find out that answer. It was only a matter of time. This was a good start of earning her trust.  
The twins were all over the place at first, but then Nichole was able to help them bring their circle in more. When it was her turn to shoot, she showed both of them up. Her body melted into position. Standing, focusing on the target. The boys couldn't take their eyes off her. Her aim was right on point. She hit bullseye after bullseye. There was no way to tell how many shots she took, besides looking in her magazine that held eight. It was empty, no shots showed anywhere else. They didn't notice the smirk that formed on her face when she saw the target. To her that was a beautiful sight. She quickly pulled out the empty magazine and slipped in a filled one and shot straight to the head of the target. Dead center forehead. Eight shots, one hole.

Nichole hadn't left Diesels side since he's been brought to the Nest base. She slept in the cab of his truck most nights. Not caring that everyone else wanted her to go to her room and get proper rest. She wouldn't have it. She found out that they knew about Diesel being alive. She chose not to through a fit or scream. She just chose to ignore everyone, especially Lennox and the Autobots. A week after he came, they were both woken by a knock to his cab door. She sat up and rubbed her eyes before rolling down the window and looking out to see who had the audacity. 

"What?" She growled. Epps stood outside the door. 

"Today you got to get your stitches taken out. You need to go see Ratchet." He told her, trying to be nice about it. He wasn't the only one tired of her attitude, but it wasn't like she didn't have a reason for it. 

"I'll take them out myself." She fired back. He gave a sigh and looked away for a moment. As he was about to say something, Diesel spoke up. 

"Nichole, go to Ratchet. I'm not letting you take them out yourself." She looked like she wanted to defy him, but instead she gave a huff and opened up the cab door and hopped out. She walked away from the two and headed to the med bay, muttering curses under her breath.

Diesel transformed to follow her, but not without apologizing to Epps for her. 

"I apologize for her attitude. I had hope to help her with it, but it seems nothing I do can change it." His head bowed, and arms crossed, watching her storm down the hallway. 

"You shouldn't be apologizing for her. Why is she like that anyway? I mean I've never seen anyone that...that mean before." 

"There are things that happen to some people that can never be unseen. There is a lot that I wish I could tell you, so you and everyone else would understand her. But I can't lose her trust. She needs someone to trust. It's the only way to try and help her now." And with that, he walked off to make sure Nichole wasn't harming Ratchet. Epps stood there a moment, thinking about what he just heard. Then went back to work. 

The two entered the med bay and Ratchet was waiting beside the hospital bed in his holoform. 

"Come take a seat." His low voice commanded. Nichole was hesitant on moving closer. Diesel gave her a soft push and she moved. 

"Come on, lets go. I don't have all day." She complied and moved with a quicker pace. She always hated anything to do with doctors. She sat down on the bed. Ratchet scanned her over, checking to make sure everything looks good. Then he made a sound, she really didn't like to hear, like a low growl but never escaped his lips. She thought about asking but didn't want to make more conversation than needed. 

"This may hurt, I'm going to slowly take out the stiches. If you think you need some pain reliever, let me know." Straight forward he told her. She gave a nod and let him get to work. 

With every snip of the suture and pull on the thin thread holding them together, Nichole felt it all. She stayed deadly still, eyes staring at nothing, letting Ratchet complete the job. It was a lengthy process and Ratchet was taking his time. There were over a hundred stiches to pull out, leaving a nice long deep scar. A few soldiers that happened to walk past, stopped to take a look. Now instead of seeing black stiches on her face, they would only see the deep red scar. Lennox and Epps made there way in, to see how things were going, as well as Optimus, even Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. Though the two had totally different reasons than everyone else on why they were there. Nichole never acknowledged anyone that came and stopped by. Ratchet only told them it was going well. Nichole could hear a hesitant sound in his voice whenever he talked. He seemed to be hiding something and she was going to find out. When he scanned he found something, something that wasn't good. 

The process took well over an hour to complete. The skin on her face seemed to stretch apart, making the scar look bigger than it is. She could feel the pulling from it. 

"Your going to feel a little funny for a couple days, tell your body gets used to it. I want you to rub some of this cream on it every night and every morning. It will help try and regenerate your skin. It won't get rid of it, you would need plastic surgery for that." Ratchet explained to her. She hopped off the bed, grabbing the cream from Ratchet and went to leave. Diesel cleared his throat and raised an eyebrow at her. 

With a huff, she turned back to Ratchet. "Thank you. I appreciate you taking out my stiches." She said through clenched teeth. 

Then she remembers, "One question," She started, Ratchet looked at her curiously. "What did you see on your scan? Is there something I should know about?" She seemed proud of herself to see the doc fumble a bit. 

"I need to run some test. I don't know what I found. I'm still learning the human body." The answer was good enough for her and she walked out of the room. 

"Thanks Ratchet." Diesel added before following her out of the room. 

Optimus was in the hanger, seeming to wait for them. "Diesel, Nichole, we need to talk about the battle." His deep voice echoed throughout the hanger. 

"Why?" Her arms crossed, and she leaned on her right foot, hip popping out. 

"We need to hear your story. No one else knows what happened and a lot of good people died." He knelt down to talk closer to her. 

"It was just an ambush, it happens all the time. People die all the time." She scowled up at him. Optimus gave a look to Diesel, seeming to ask if he would help, without using words. Diesel looked away from Optimus, he didn't want to disobey a Prime, but he couldn't betray Nichole. A frown formed on his face, he was fighting an inner battle. There was something they weren't telling, and Diesel knew it needed to be said. Optimus stood up. 

"Diesel, we need to know. What are you not telling us?" Using more of an authoritative voice this time. Nichole snapped her eyes up to Diesel, a worried look flashed over her eyes. Diesel looked down at her then back up to Optimus. 

"I can't." Is all he said, and he transformed, opening the door for Nichole. She jumped in without a second thought and the two drove out of the hanger. 

Lennox happened to walk into the hanger and saw the 16 driving out of the bay. 

"I'm guess you got nothing." Lennox assumed. 

"It's going to be difficult to get them to talk. Something happened and neither of them are ready to talk about it." Optimus knew what it was like to keep things inside and never tell anyone. he also knew the pain of not letting it out will only make it worse. 

"Diesel seems like he would talk, but he's more worried about Nichole's trust to say anything. We have already failed, but we need to try." Optimus continued. Lennox put to fingers on his chin, thinking of what they can do. 

"We got Decepticons activity in the middle east" was yelled over the pa. Lennox ran to the control room, needing to find out more info. Everyone else got battle ready. There hadn't been a sighting in some time. So, they all needed to be prepared. 

"It's Soundwave." One the techs told Lennox as he ran into the room. 

"Shit. What does he want?" Lennox growled through his clenched teeth. 

"We need everyone. Heavy artillery. Let's go. let's go." he continued to yell to everyone. He put his flak and Kevlar on and grabbed his weapon. The Autobots were waiting in the hanger to get on the planes. Nichole and Diesel hung off the side trying not to get in the way. It was hard for her to stand still, she wanted to go with so bad. She needed action, needed to shoot something. She looked up to Diesel, he stood leaning against the wall, arms crossed, watching the soldiers get their gear and load up. 

"Think it's the same one?" She asked, Diesel looked down at her. 

"Most likely. From what I heard, it's near the same spot." He answered. 

"Should we say something?" Diesel knew what they were getting into, so did Nichole. 

"No, let them figure it out. They wouldn't help you, so why should we help them." She snapped. The N.E.S.T members started loading onto the planes. Nichole watched the twins drive up the ramps into the plane. 

"They'll be fine, stop worrying." Diesel teased. She shot him a glare, 

"Me worried. Ha. Your funny." Ending with a fake laugh. 

"I see the way he looks at you." 

"See what. Hate? Cause that's what it is. We hate each other. You know before I found out you were alive, him and his twin, forced me out of base and they took me to a mall. A mall, Diesel. I hate malls." 

He rolled his optics at her. "They probably think that's what girls like, from the world wide web." 

"Well they are stupid. They all are. Its annoying." She rambled. 

All he could do was laugh. No one could read her, but he could. He knew there was something going on, she just didn't know it yet. He was just glad to be back with his partner. He missed her rambling and the way she talked. She was an asshole, but that didn't bother him. They were a good team either way. He gazed down at her. He was torn away hearing Optimus speak. 

"Diesel, would you like to join us?" Diesel looked back down to Nichole, she was looking up at him and gave him a shrug. Telling him that it was his choice. 

"I'm sorry Optimus. I think I'm going to stick this one out. I just got repaired from the last battle." He said respectfully. Optimus gave him a nod in understanding then transformed and loaded up. He was the last one to get on the plane. The two left behind walked to the opening and watched the planes take off.


	6. Tell Me More

While they waited for the group to come back. They wondered outside. It was something they did together. When Diesel needed to stretch his legs, they would always find a secluded spot and take a hike. There wasn't much of that outside the base. It was mostly just open dirt and patches of grass here and there. Mounds around where the range was set up. And sand, lots and lots of sand. Something any military member is used too. Autobots as well. 

"You could of gone." She whispered to him. His servos were behind his back as he walked, he helms moved to look at her small form. 

"No, I can't leave you." His tone was serious and authoritative. She knew from that tone, that there would be no arguing. They continued walking, the wind blowing lightly causing the grass to sway back and forth. Every once and while, they would spot a butterfly. Well it was nice and calm by these two, with N.E.S.T. and the Autobots, it was a different story. 

Fire was blazing through buildings. Cars were flipped, crushed or blowing up. Casualties lay burning where they sat or flew. Lennox noticed as he walked past the flames coming from a car, inside was the melting face of a baby doll, they eyes had rolled out of its head, its clothes turning black, turning into ashes. Who was holding that baby doll had stopped screaming while ago. It brought tears to Lennox's eyes. He thought about his little girl at home and if something like this happened to her. He wouldn't know what to do. Gun shots rang out, snapping him from his thoughts.

"Sir, get down!" A soldier near by yelled to him. They took cover behind a smoldering vehicle, the flames dying down. They were now another block up, where the decepticons already hit. Clashing of metal and grinding gears were heard around the soldiers. 

"MEGATRON!" Primes deep baritone voice was heard in the distance. It wasn't long before the two leaders came fighting into view. Swords clashing together. Megatron was pushing Optimus with their swords. Their fight continued on slamming into buildings as they went. Optimus looked out for people below, not wanting to do more damage than already down. 

"Your so weak, Optimus. Your letting the little fleshies get to you." Megatron took a chance, pulling his sword away and instead with his fist, he punched Optimus square in the jaw. 

Soundwave had been the decoy to get the team out into the city. Then they were ambushed. Optimus stubbled back, attempting to regain balance. Lennox and a few others ran towards him. They began to shoot at Megatron, to give Optimus the upper hand. Optimus took quickly recovered and ran at Megatron, yelling at the soldiers to get out of the way. Before Megatron could swing his hand down, Optimus threw himself into Megatron. The two rolled back a few yards, continuing to fight. The soldiers continued to get people out of the city, finding any survivors. There weren't many.   
Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were battling Barricade and another con. Their faces were contorted in anger and determinations. Using his twin blades Sunstreaker took a few stabs at Barricade. Barricade was able to block them with ease. A flicker of red flashed in Sunstreaker's optics as he growled, plunging his blade into Barricades shoulder. The con cried out in pain but wouldn't go down. He brought out his cannon and took a few close shots. Sunstreaker pulled his blade back and ducked out of the way just inches from the blasts. When he came back up there was a cannon in his face. Sunstreaker froze, staring into the beady red eyes.

"Your distracted, Sunstreaker." Barricade spat out, energon dripping from his shoulder wound. The two giants circled each other. 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Sunstreaker shouted back. 

"There is someone your thinking about, isn't there?" Barricade gave an evil smirk. Sunstreaker didn't answer, instead took a chance to plunge his dagger into the cons throat. Barricade was able to dodge quick and swing around and kick the golden twin in the side. 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. You know what will happen." Sunstreaker stayed down, knowing exactly what the con was talking about. 

"And don't forget it." Barricade began to walk away, grinning to himself. 

"She wasn't part of the deal." Sunstreaker called out, he stood back up and saw the con stop in his tracks. 

"Oh well. The plan doesn't change." Barricade growled out before transforming into Saleen S281E police car. The lights on top began to light up. 

"Decepticons retreat." Megatron called out, then transformed and flew off. 

"Sunny! You okay?" Sideswipe ask as he came to his brothers side, helping off the ground. 

"Don't call me that! I'm fine!" Sunstreaker yelled. Sides put his hands up in defense. Quickly getting over it, they ran over to the other bots and humans. Knowing this wasn't a random fight. They came for him and they were about to get what they wanted. 

"What was the point of that? They just going to cause destruction now. What was their reason this time?" Lennox shouted throwing his Kevlar at the ground, while they waited for the jets to get to them. 

"I do not know." Optimus replied. None of them knew except for one. That one wasn't going to say anything. There was more at stake right now and no one was going to know about it. 

"Do you think it was just a distraction? What about base?" Ironhide suggested. 

"Base is fine, nothing happened there." Lennox answered. 

"But you could be right about the distraction." Epps said bringing a finger up to his chin thinking. They all thought about what just happened. Thousands dead, for what? They didn't know the answer. 

As soon as they landed back at base, Sunstreaker left to his room. Nichole, who was standing near the entrance of the hanger, watched him storm past. He didn't even look to see where he was going, nor did he look at her. It made her wonder what happened, he always took a glance at her. She shrugged it off, it was none of her business, nor did she care. 

"How was battle?" Diesel asked Ironhide and Jazz after they transformed from driving out of the plane. 

"It was strange." Ironhide answered, his face showing confusion. Diesel looked at him confused as well. 

"Strange? What did the decepticreeps want?" Diesel asked crossing his arms. 

"No one knows. We came, we fought, they retreated." Jazz explained. 

"That is odd." Diesel put a digit on his chin, optics dimming as he thought. Diesel had an idea, so did Nichole, but they had no plans on saying anything. 

There was only one person or bot that knew what the reason was for today and he wasn't about to say anything. No one will ever know the real reason, if he could help it. Sunstreaker paced throughout his and his brothers room. Not to sure what to take from today, all he knew was he needed to be more careful. He had bots and people to protect, though they would never know it or understand it. No one liked him anyway. They probably would be better off without him anyway. 

"Stop thinking that." His twin stated walking into the room. Sunstreaker scoffed and turned away. 

"We need you, I need you." Sideswipe looked away, a frown showing on his face. 

"You don't get it!" Sunstreaker shouted over his shoulder. 

"Well help me to get it!" Sideswipe yelled back. 

"Just forget it." His twin scoffed and walked out of the room. 

"What is going on with him?" Sideswipe said to himself. 

Everyone was still hanging out in the hanger, all going over ideas of what happened earlier that day. Bouncing ideas off each other. 

"Maybe they are just bored." Epps suggested. 

"I highly doubt that." Lennox countered. They continued to babble, no one understood it, and they probably were never going to. Nichole and Diesel stood off to the side, watching. There wasn't much for the two to do around base and Nichole was getting restless. She wasn't used to having nothing to do. She was always busy, working on Diesel or her weapon, practicing on the range, or work around the motor pool. 

"I need to do something." She whispered to Diesel. 

"Like what? You're not allowed to do anything." Diesel raised a brow at her. 

"I need to shoot something." She said looking around. 

"You know you can't do that." She looked up at him and gave a huff. 

"Doesn't stop me from wanting too. I don't understand why I can't." She continued to complain. 

"Probably because your trigger happy. I may have not been to your meetings with your therapist, but I have a pretty good idea that's why." 

"I never shot anyone that I wasn't supposed too." She argued. He ran his servo down his face. 

"No but you have done warning shots at people who have pissed you off." 

"That was ONE time." She raised her voice at him. He couldn't help but chuckle. 

"And the kid deserved it." She crossed her arms. Diesel couldn't stop himself and started laughing out loud. Nichole tried to keep a straight face but ended up laughing along. 

"What's so funny?" Lennox walked over to the two. Nichole stopped laughing and her face went straight. Diesel tried to slow down his laughing by covering his mouth. 

"Nothing." She said. 

"Oh, come on. I've never seen you laugh. So, it must be funny." Lennox tried to get her to talk. It was good to see her coming out a little. Even if it was Diesel who had to do it. Diesel nudged her with his pede. She gave him a glare.

"Go on tell em. It's not like they can't find out about it." He nudged her again. Lennox couldn't hold the smile off his face watching the two interact. She gave a groan of annoyance but turned to Lennox and let him in on the story. What Diesel said was true, anyone could find out about what she did. She had to start going to therapy because of it. 

"Alright, so about three or so years ago, we had a few new recruits joining the platoon. Whatever right. Usually its no big deal. Well this one guy thought he was a hot shot. I was a corporal at the time and I told this kid to knock it off. He was saying he heard how scary I was and didn't believe it. One of my guys, who had known me for a while, even told him to knock it off. Well the kid didn't stop. So, I shot the ground near his feet with my pistol. Let's just say the kid never messed with me again." She ended her story with a smirk on her face. 

"I could definitely see you doing that." Lennox said. "Its good to see you have some fun." He added before walking off to the others. 

Days turned into weeks and they had yet to have any contact with the Decepticons again. There were still no ideas of why that happened that day. Nichole was now cleared to start working out again and doing more heavy work. She decided to ask Lennox if she could help around base. She had already detailed Diesel down his struts to his engine bay. She needed more things to do. Lucky for her, Lennox allowed her to help. He wanted her to help do work on the bots, but she still resented working with them. It was going to take a lot to get her to help with the bots. They were having a hard time gaining her trust. They were still working on that part. Diesel is the only one who has it and it doesn't look like it is going to change anytime soon. 

"108!" She screamed in her sleep she awoke panting, grabbing her chest. Whispering '108' to herself. 

"Nichole?" Diesel said in his sleepy state. 

"Nichole are you alright?" 

"108!" She repeated to him. 

"108 What?" he asked even thought he already knew the answer. 

"You know!" She snapped staring at his monitor in his truck. 

"They are at 108 now." She whispered looking away out the window now. 

"How do you know?" 

"I read another missing kid article." She was so quiet, he barely heard her. 

"What have I told you about reading them?" 

"I know...I know. I can't help it." 

"You don't need to worry about that anymore. Your safe with me now." He said trying to calm her down. 

"But no other kids are. I was lucky and got away. I was lucky they only used me at first." She wanted to scream, but it was the middle of the night. 

"I helped them and payback for it are these nightmares. These terrors." She cried into the palms of her hands. 

"You had no other choice." He wished there was more he could do to help her. but no one can take the memory or the scars away. 

"I should of tried harder. Maybe more of those kids would be alive." 

"When did the nightmares start again?" He wondered. He knew she had nightmares before, but they had stopped for a few years. She thought it was because she was doing something right with her life for once. 

"After I thought I lost you." She struggled to get the words out. She shifted in her seat, moving her legs underneath her. 

"I'm sorry. If there was a way I could of told you I was alive." 

"You shouldn't have had to! They knew you were alive. They want information, but that can't even tell me something this important. Its their fault. It will always be their fault. They couldn't even help you. They are incompetent. I can still hear you screaming for them to come help. For an answer." The tears started up again. The memories from the battle seeping back into her mind. Images of the sand blowing up around her as the bombs landed, fire blinding her eyesight. Diesels voice going hoarse from screaming her name and trying to call the Autobots. She remembers laying near his head, hearing Primes voice telling him they won't get there in time. Then static was heard through the other end. Static, just static. 

"I know." He whispered so low, so quiet, she wasn't sure she really heard him. 

"But I'm still here. that's all that matters. We are back together again. You have a future again." His voice raised, putting some enthusiasm in there. She shook her head in disbelief. She opened his door and headed out, not sure where she was going. She just needed to get away, get some fresh air. 

"Nichole." He shouted to her as he transformed, then walked after her. she walked to the open doors of the hanger. Soldiers stood by on guard. Some of the Autobots where out on a midnight mission with a lead. She stopped and leaned against the hanger door waiting for nothing. Looking out at nothing. Letting her mind get the best of her. 

Sunstreaker was out on the mission, along with Sideswipe. They didn't find anything while being out. Though, Sunstreaker already knew they wouldn't find anything. While on the drive back, his spark started to feel distressed. He gave a low groan. 

"What's wrong, Sunny?" Sideswipe asked also feeling a little distressed. 

"I don't know. Somethings wrong, I just don't know what." He groaned again, the pull getting stronger. 

"Is it Nichole?" Sides grumbled. He was tired of it always being about the human femme. 

"I sure hope not, but I'm probably wrong. Primus what's wrong with her now." Sides didn't answer him. They drove the rest of the way in silence. The pull continuing tell they reached base. As they drove up to base, Sunstreaker saw Nichole leaning against the open hanger door. That's when his spark stopped pulling. He could see the distressed look on her face. More so in her eyes, she kept a straight look on her face, eyeing the bots pulling into the hanger. 

Sunstreaker transformed as he rolled in. He stopped a few feet into the hanger, his back to Nichole. His spark was telling him to turn around and find out what was wrong, but he wasn't sure if he should. They had pretty much stayed away from each other the last few weeks. Except for running into each other now and then. If he was leaving the medical bay after having Ratchet heal up an injury, she would happen to be walking in at the time and he would almost step on her. If she was walking through the hanger after helping with some jobs and he was rolling in from patrol. They couldn't stay out of each other's way and they were both getting tired of it. Though now, he wasn't sure what to do. His spark wanted him to talk to her. It hurt trying to stay away from her, trying not to talk to her. He looked over his shoulder to her. Her back was to him. She was leaning against the hanger door, looking out into the night. The light from inside casted her shadow a few feet out. Her long brown hair was tangled up from a restless night of sleep. The sweatpants she wore hung low on her hips. Then there was a cough, taking him out of his daze. 

He shook his helm and looked at who gave the forced cough. Diesel was leaning against the wall, watching Sunstreaker look over his charge. Diesel pushed himself off the wall and walked over to the young bot. 

"The pull is strong isn't it?" The older bot asked. Sunstreaker looked at him in confusion. Trying to act like he had no idea what he was talking about. 

"Don't hide it. I can see the way you look at her. The way you act around her." 

"I don't know what I feel." Sunstreaker gave the truth. He really had no idea what he was feeling. 

"She feels it too. She doesn't understand it either. It also doesn't affect her as much as it does you. Just be careful. She's broken enough. She doesn't need a strong headed mech like yourself, crushing her even further down the wrong path." And with that he left the golden bot to his thoughts. Diesel walked back to the wall next to Nichole. Nichole looked at him in question of what he just did. He just shrugged his shoulders at her, while looking over at Sunstreaker.


	7. I don't need help

Sunstreaker stood there for a few moments. Thinking over what he was just told. She feels something for him. He wanted to laugh at that statement. How was he supposed to believe that the ignorant fleshie, whose been trying to avoid him like he does her, has feelings for him and doesn't even understand why. Well he didn't understand why either. Just looking at her made his spark hum a little faster. Just hearing her talk made a shiver run down his spinal struts. What was this woman doing to him? He had more important things to worry about. He should not be worrying about or thinking about a inhuman unemotional ex-soldier. She needed to stay nothing to him. No matter how hard he tried, he knew that statement would never be true. He was falling for her, he just wouldn't let himself believe it. 

Nichole finally pulled herself away from the door and turned around to try and go back to sleep. As she turned she noticed the gold bot walking out of the hanger down towards his room. Her heartstrings seemed to tug a little as she watched him walk away. She pressed her hand to her chest, over her heart. Her eyes squinted in confusion as she looked down at her chest. She decided it was probably best to ignore the feeling. It was probably nothing. 

"Let's go back to bed, Diesel." She said walking to the other side of the hanger where they usually slept. 

"Are you feeling better now?" He asked following her. 

"I think so. I'll be fuckin fine." He didn't believe her, but he didn't question her either. He transformed and she hopped in. 

"NICHOLE!" She jumped at the sound of her name being yelled across the bay. 

"What the fuck?" She said after banging her head on Diesel's ceiling. 

"NICHOLE!" Her name was yelled again. She looked out the window to see the lime green doctor. 

"What does he want?" She growled. 

"I don't know but you should probably go find out." Diesel answered. She gave a low groan getting out of the cab. She trudged over the doc bot. 

"What you want, Ratchet?" She asked stopping in front of him. 

"We need to talk." He turned and started walking over to the med bay. She turned, looking at Diesel, giving him a questionable look. He transformed and followed, giving her a just as curious look. 

Nichole sat up on the human berth, while Ratchet, who what in his holoform ran some more test. He had yet to tell her anything. 

"What is this about, Ratchet?" She said with an annoying tone in her voice. All he did was put a finger up to silence her. She crossed her arms and gave a low growl. She had been sitting there for over a half an hour now and she was getting restless. Diesel stood off to the side, watching the whole ordeal. 

"Are you feeling any pain in your zygomas?" Ratchet asked, not even looking over at her. When she didn't say anything, cause she had no idea what he was talking about, he spoke again, 

"Your cheekbones." He drawled out looking at her. 

"Oh, no." She said with a straight face. 

"Are you sure?" He asked again. 

"I have a very high pain tolerance. I don't usually notice an injury unless Diesel notices it first. Why what's wrong with my cheekbones?" She put her hand up to her face, caressing where her scar lay. 

"I had to some research and I found out you have a fracture in your cheekbone. I'm just surprised your not in any pain and have no swelling or bruising." His voice started out strong then went to a mumble. Making it hard for her to hear. Diesel even leaned in. 

"So, she has a fracture in her face, that the VA doctors didn't bother to take care of? How the frag do you fix that?" Diesel asked. Ratchet gave him a nod but didn't answer right away. 

"They might not have noticed it right away, because they were more concerned about getting the cut sewed up and stop the bleeding. She may have had swelling and bruising but it might have been in the beginning, so it went down as her injury healed. From what it looks like on my scanners, it's already started to heal on its own." Ratchet explained. This was a lot of information for Nichole to take in. 

"So, what's wrong then? It's healing, that's all that matters right?" She asked feeling her face again. The scar had begun to dampen a little. Still very prominent, but not a bright red that it was or as large. The line was starting to thin out a little, but it would never go away. 

"I'm worried that if we just let it go, it will heal wrong. Or it may ruin some of the muscle tissue around it as it tries and heals. It was a deep fracture. I'm surprised you didn't feel it. Well actually I'm not to surprised, you were probably in too much pain from the deep cut of your flesh." He explained, leaning against his computer system. Nichole nodded in agreement. 

"So, what do you want to do doc?" He winced at the nickname but didn't say anything. 

"We need to do corrective surgery on it." He stated clearly. 

"So, more stitches and more healing and more of sitting around doing nothing?" She grunted out, not happy but understood. 

"I'm afraid so. It should be a quick easy surgery." She gave a drawn-out sigh and looked up at Diesel. Diesel just looked down at her and gave a shrug. 

"Alright, when do you want to do this?" she asked looking at Ratchet with a straight face. 

"Your getting surgery done?!?" Sunstreaker wondered when he ran into Nichole after she was done talking to Ratchet. 

"What the fuck? Were you eavesdropping?" She snapped up at him. 

He rolled his optics at her and decided it wasn't worth it and walked around her to where ever he was going. He didn't know exactly what the surgery was for, he just over heard that she needed to get it done. It honestly worried him a bit. He wanted to know more about it but didn't want anyone to think he actually cares. He stopped when he got to the end of the hall, he stopped and turned a bit to see Nichole walking away. His spark seemed to long for her, but there was no way he was going to admit that. Diesel walked out of Ratchets office, blocking Sunstreaker's view. Giving a low sigh, he went back to what he was doing. 

It was going to be about a week before Ratchet would be ready to do the surgery. He would have preferred she go to the VA and have an actual human doctor do the surgery, but she refused. She wanted nothing to do with the VA. It was bad enough she had to go there for mental health appointments. Though she hasn't been to one since Diesel's return. She hoped if she ignored it, no one else would remember. 

"Nichole, come here." Lennox yelled from his office, he had seen her walk by. She groans, not really wanting to deal with anyone else at this time. 

"Why does everyone need to talk to me today?" she asked not expecting an answer. 

"Can I help you, sir?" she said leaning against his doorway. 

"You missed your mental health appointment the other day." She stood there, looking at her nails. She felt his eyes on her and she gave him a dull look. 

"And?" he gave a groan and leaned on his elbows that sat on his desk. 

"You're not supposed to miss those appointments. How do you expect to get cleared?" She couldn't help but laugh. He thought she was going to be cleared. She's psycho, they would never let her be cleared. She was lucky she wasn't in an Asylum.

When she finally got all the laughter out of her, she gave him a serious look and said, "It really doesn't matter. I'll never be cleared." Her eyes darkening as she talked. He kept his eyes off her. Her intimidating look shoot right through him. 

"Well you have to go. I was able to make you an appointment for tomorrow morning. Sunstreaker will be taking you. No excuses and no getting out of it either." He pointed a finger at her using a demanding tone. 

"Does it have to be Sunstreaker?" She groaned, her arms crossed, and she stood straight. 

"Yes, it does." He tried hard to hold back the smirk that was threatening to leave his lips. A scowl left her lips as she stormed out of his office. After she was gone, he left out the laugh he was holding back. 

"What did the major want?" Diesel asked as Nichole came down the stairs. 

"I think he just wants to piss me off." She mumbled. 

"What happened now?" Diesel looked down at her. She looked up sheepishly, know he wouldn't be happy with what she was about to tell him. 

"Well um." She paused and rubbed the back of her neck. He crossed his arm and raised a brown. 

"Spit it out." He ordered. 

With a sigh she answered. "Um well I was supposed to go to an appointment a few days ago and I didn't. So now I have to go tomorrow morning and Sunstreaker has to take me." She finished and brushed a loose hair out of her face. Keeping her eyes everywhere else but on Diesel. 

"Your telling me that you missed one of your mental health appointments. An appointment that you needed to go to. What was your excuse for missing it?" He towered over her, glaring down at her. She felt tiny at this point. Diesel was the only one who could make her feel this way. She didn't have an answer for him. He knew she wouldn't. 

"You better make that appointment tomorrow. If I could take you I would. So Sunstreaker better make sure. I'm going to go find him and talk to him about it." And with that, he left her standing in the hanger. 

It was the next morning and the first thing Nichole did when she got up, was go take a shower. It was one of the only times she went in her room, except to change and do morning hygiene. Her bed was still made from the day she found out Diesel was still alive. She stood in the bathroom, using a fan to clear the steam from the mirror, brushing her long brown hair, then put it into a French braid. She set the brush down and set her hands on the counter, leaning on them. She looked at herself in the mirror, taking in her appearance. In a week the thin line of the scar would be reopened and re stitched. Something she was not looking forward too, but she knew it had to be done. Diesel wouldn't let her not get the fracture fixed. He always looks out for her, even though she can't look out for herself. With a sigh she turned and walked out of the bathroom heading to the dresser. 

She pulls out a pair of faded black low-rise skinny jeans out of the bottom drawer and pulls them over her plain black boy short panties. Out of the second drawer she pulls out a few different tops, not sure what she should wear. Most of her clothes were tomboyish, but she still dressed like the female she was. She chose a blood red low-cut t-shirt, two black stripes on the sleeves. She slipped it over her plain black bra she wore. As she finished tying her boot laces there was a knock on the door. She gave a low groan and stood, walking to the door. She opened it slightly to see Sunstreaker's holoform wearing a golden t-shirt with black stripe offset down the front of his well-built chest. He had golden blond spiky hair. His eyes were the color of Energon and had a hard look to them. His eyebrows arched and looked angry. He had high cheekbones, a chiseled clean-shaven jaw. His lips were in a thin line. Showing how unhappy he was. Before she could finish checking him out, he spoke, "You ready to go, fleshie?" He asked looking down at her. She gave a groan and she replied she was. She made sure to grab a pair of sunglasses, then walked out and locked her door behind her, then followed the holoform out to the hanger.

They said nothing between them as they walked into the hanger. She walked over to Diesel before getting in the vehicle. "You better get to your appointment on time. Sunstreaker has orders to make sure you get to the VA and you get into the appointment." Diesel explained with his hands on his hips, looking down at the growling female. She gave him a nasty look before saying goodbye and getting into the golden Lamborghini. Sunstreaker kept his holoform on in the driver seat and she got into the passenger. 

"You going to buckle up?" He stated more than asked. She rolled her eyes and pulled the buckle over her chest and hooked it. He gave a low sigh and drove off. It was just like the day him and Sides took her out to in town to get her out of the base, as they brought Diesel back. They rode in silence. Nichole kept her eyes out the window, not giving Sunstreaker a glance. Her sunglasses shielded her eyes from the blinding sun, though there really was no need with his tinted windows. 

It didn't take to long for them to get to the VA hospital. Sunstreaker pulled up to the gate to the parking garage. 

"Business?" The security guard asked. 

"Appointment." Sunstreaker told him. The guard nodded and opened the gate. They drove through and Sunstreaker drove all the way to the top, finding a parking spot away from the other cars. 

"Worried someone might scratch your paint." Nichole foretold, trying to hide the smirk forming on her face. He sent a glare her way, making her unable to hide her smirk anymore. She quickly unbuckled and got out of the lambo, slamming the door once out. 

"Don't slam my door." He barked at her, checking to make sure she didn't make a dent. She rolled her eyes under the cover of her sunglasses. "Baby." She muttered under her breath as she started walking away, not waiting for Sunstreaker to catch up. He was to busy making sure his finish was intact he didn't notice her walking away. By time he noticed, she was about to step into the elevator. 

"Nichole, don't you dare." He warned, running to the elevator. She let out a chuckle as the door closed right before he could get in. she could hear him scream her name as the elevator went down. 

This was her chance and she was going to take it. She had no plans on going to the stupid appointment. Her plan was just to ditch Sunstreaker long enough to miss the appointment. Sure, if she went she could try and convince the therapist to let her have a gun, but there was no way she wanted to talk about her feelings. She wondered what she was going to do as the elevator went down. She had to make sure she got down before Sunstreaker did. So, she decided to stop on the second floor, knowing he would most likely go to the first floor. Then the last minute, she thought, they had that weird pull and she knew he might try to use it against her. The elevator stopped. Her heart raced as the doors slowly opened. She didn't see anything right away as she slowly stuck her head out. Then she saw the golden shoes coming down the stairs and begin walking towards the elevators. 

"Shit! Close! Close!" She muttered to herself, pressing the close door button on the elevator. 

"Well I guess I could hang out in the elevator for an hour. He can only run so fast up and down the stairs." She said to herself. 

The elevator began to slow again, landing on the first floor. She let it open, then quickly let it close again. She chose not to press a button. Hoping it would just stay where it was. She leaned back and let out a breath. Then the elevator began to move again. 

"Shit." She cursed. She watched the numbers go up. No idea what number it was going to land on. It stopped and slowly opened. There was a couple standing there waiting to get on. 

"Hey, have either of you seen a blond guy, about 6 feet tall, bright blue eyes and wearing a golden t-shirt." She asked, here eyes wide, looking behind them. The older couple both shook their head no. Nichole thought for a moment, then pushed them out of the way, running down the parking garage. He would have figured out a way to get on the elevator. He isn't stupid. She slid in between two cars. Sitting next to the wall. She was on the third floor now. He would have to look through the whole parking garage to find her. She did her best to slow her breathing down, not trying to cause any attention to herself. 

She was doing pretty good. That was tell one of the cars she was hiding in between decided to move. She stayed low as the car moved away. What she didn't expect was to find herself staring into the bright blue eyes of Sunstreaker. All she did was groan, knowing she was caught and the look on his face said it all. "Fuck." She muttered. His fist was clenched together at his side, his face was turning red in anger. She stood facing him with a straight, emotionless face. He stormed over to her stopping right in front of her. Her eyes eyelevel with his chest, making her look up at him. 

"I'm not the only one that's pissed with you." Is all he said. He grabbed her arm and they made it over to the elevator. He never let go of her as they walked into the hospital. She groaned and whined the whole way. Only doing so to piss Sunstreaker off more and it was working. "Will you shut up?" He growled into her ear. The smirk couldn't be wiped from her face, the sight of him annoyed was lovely. 

"Nichole James to see Dr. Matthews." Sunstreaker said through clenched teeth to the lady at the desk. The lady looked at the two in question. Confusion written on her face, noticing his grip on Nichole's arm. 

"Don't ask." Nichole snarled at the lady who was staring at her. 

"Last four?" she quickly asked looking down at her computer. Nichole snapped her mouth shut, not willing to tell. Sunstreaker squeezed her arm tighter, making her growl. 

"1234" she seethed. 

"Alright you know your fifteen minutes late?" She looked between the two. 

"We had some trouble finding the place." Sunstreaker lied. 

"Alright, take a seat." Sunstreaker nodded in thanks and walked Nichole over to the waiting area. 

"If you ever pull that crap again, I will squish you." Sunstreaker threatened as they sat down. 

"Feel free." She whispered back to him. A shiver ran up his spine as she whispered in his ear. 

"Nichole" A older gentlemen stood near the doorway, holding up a clipboard. Nichole gave a quick glare to Sunstreaker before standing up. Sunstreaker went to follow but was stopped by Nichole. 

"Its confidential. I will come back, just wait here." She pushed him back with the palm of her hand. His eyes wide, not at what she said, but from her touch. She retracted her hand quickly, not liking the feeling she felt. One more glance at him and she rushed to see the doc. She followed the therapist down a long white hallway, filled with pictures of heroes and some cool sayings. Something to motivate the ones who lost that motivation so long ago. 

"Please take a seat." He gestured to the seat near his desk. She stood next to the chair, took a quick look at the seat. 

"No thanks I'll stand." Her voice quiet, but not yet a whisper.

"So, what happened since the last time I saw you? I know you missed the last appointment." He asked putting his glasses on and looking at me. 

"Nothing." She looked him straight in the eye, warning him with a glance. 

"Now last time we talked, you just got medically separated. You just came back from war. You got taken to the NEST base because of your affiliation with the Autobots." She rolled her eyes at him. Not liking where this was going. 

"How are you doing with losing your partner?" 

"Don't need to worry about that anymore. He's not dead." He looked at her in surprise before writing it all down. 

"Are you happy he's still around?" 

"No shit sherlock." Her arms were crossed now as she looked out the window. 

"How has it been at the base? With all the other Autobots?" She sent a glare, that told him all he needed to know. Not like the icy look she gave him, he shifted in his chair and cleared out his throat. 

"Alright, not good..." 

"When can I have my weapons back?" She interrupted. He gave a sigh and took off his glasses. 

"Nichole, you know why you can't have guns." She rolled her eyes and leaned against the window sill. 

"Yeah cause I gave a stupid warning shot to some fucker who didn't know his place. I haven't killed anyone." her voice raised as she looked back over to him. 

"That's not the only reason and you know that." She gave a sigh and he continued. 

"You have seen a lot of action. You have seen more than the normal person. You were a trigger happy soldier..." 

"Marine!" "I'm sorry Marine. It doesn't change the fact that you could kill without a reason." 

"Anyone I killed was because they were the enemy. That was my reason." 

"You killed innocent women and children." 

"Stop! I did what I was ordered to do." 

"Doesn't that lay on your conscious?" 

There was a pause for a moment before she answered. "No, it doesn't. I did was I was ordered." 

"You were the only one who took that order so seriously. You were the only one who did it. No one else participated and you know it." 

"That's only because the other chickened out. They didn't have the heart to kill women and children. They were weak. All those people I killed were going to die anyway. Whether it was my hand or not." She stood breathing heavy, her chest rising and falling. Her eyes turned a dark stone gray, focusing in on the therapist. 

"Why were you the one that had to do it? Why don't you have any remorse?" he asked after she calmed down. 

"That's just who I am." 

"Someone had to make you that way. I'm sure growing up you weren't so cold towards people. I'm sure you were a happy girl growing up." She slammed her hand on his desk, removing space between them. 

"You know nothing about my past and you never will." 

"I can't help you if I don't know something about your past." 

"you can't help me." 

"I could if you would let me. I'm sure if you told me a little. Does anyone know? Maybe you can talk to someone you trust." 

"He already knows everything, and he isn't trying to change me. He doesn't look at me like I'm a killer. He treats me like a real person." 

"I am treating you like a real person." 

"HA. Your calling me a killer for something I was ordered to do. I'm not the only one who has had to kill people." 

"What happened at the last battle, the one you thought your partner died in?" 

"Now you're just changing the subject."

The two went back and forth arguing about what she says or hasn't said. What she should say or talk about. He isn't the first therapist to try and get into her head. She had no plans on letting any of them in. They only know what they have been told by other people. Her superiors, her peers, the people under her. She hung her head looking out the window again, tuning out his babble. She didn't care anymore. She never really cared. Eventually she just stopped talking. Dr. Matthews took a hint and decided to end the session, knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere else. 

"Let's make an appointment for next week." He said logging into his computer. All she did was give him a grunt. He did some typing on the computer then handed her a card with a date and time on it. 

"Please don't miss it this time." He added opening the door for her to leave. She walked out with no say and went to find Sunstreaker. 

He stood the minute he saw her around the corner. Noticing him walking towards her, she turned around and they headed back to the parking garage in silence. Attempting to make small talk, Sunstreaker spoke to her. 

"How was the meeting?" He glanced at her, she gave a grunt. Not even wanting to talk. 

"You know they are just trying to help you." He tried again. 

"I don't need help." She whispered. They got to his vehicle mode and they both got in. 

That was his last attempt. He had nothing else to say to her. She clearly didn't want to listen. During the drive back to the base, he would glance over at her. She was being to quiet for his liking, but he had no idea what to say to her. Once they pulled into base, she was gone. He didn't have a chance to say anything else to her. His holoform hadn't even shut off before she was even out the door. He watched, from the driver seat, her walk briskly to Diesel. He let himself sink back in the seat, not liking the emptiness of her not in the car with him. He got over it quickly and fizzled out of existence. Then drove to him and his brothers room, trying to be glad it was all over.


	8. Your All Wrong

"So, how was it?" Diesel sung to her, as he watched her make her way to him. 

"How do you think? The asshole still thinks I'm a murderer. He can't fucking understand that I was doing what I was told to do. And he seems to think I need to talk about my past. It might help me move on. He just a stupid idiot." She scoffed to him but kept her voice low. She was still holding a small grudge against him for making her go. 

"You know your not a murderer. Come let's take a walk and you can tell me all about it." Diesel made his way out of the hanger. She threw her head back and groaned but followed him out anyway. This discussion wasn't meant for other ears. It was a secret not many people knew and she had no plan on anyone else finding out. 

"So, how was it?" Sideswipe asked his brother as he walked into the room, trying to hide the grin on his face. His brother gave him a 'really' look. 

"It was just fantastic." He said sarcastically. "The little she-devil had to play a game before her appointment." 

Sideswipe sat up to hear this story, it sounded funny to him. "Well go on." He said with a smirk. 

Sunstreaker gave him another sideways look and couldn't stop himself from slapping his brother behind the helm. 

"Ow, really was that necessary." Sideswipe said rubbing the back of his helm. 

"Yes, it was. Anyway, the fleshy decided to slam my door and almost damage it, then ran off to the elevators without me. I had to chase her around the slagging parking garage. She thought she was so clever. We were fifteen minutes late to her appointment. I had to lie and say we got lost." Sunstreaker finished and Sideswipe couldn't stop laughing. Sunstreaker gave him a shove off the berth. 

"Oh, come on, bro. That's was hilarious." He said holding onto his chest, trying not to laugh so hard. Sunstreaker gave a scoff and left the room, Sideswipe in tow. 

The twins walked back out to the hanger just in time to see Diesel and Nichole walking down the path outside. Diesel walked with his hands behind his back. Nichole had her hands in her back pocket. Sunstreaker stopped to watch her walk away. 

"Bro!" Sideswipe yelled as he ran into his unmoving twin. 

"Hey don't scratch my paint!" Sunstreaker yelled back at him. 

"Well if you wouldn't have stopped in the middle of the hanger." He snapped back. 

"Will you shut up?" Sunstreaker growled. 

"Why do I need to shut up?" Sides said shoving his brother. Sunstreaker shoved back. 

"What the frag?" 

"You're such a baby." Sunstreaker pushed, shoving him again. 

"Me?!? You're the one crying over his finish and some stupid girl." Sideswipe threw a punch this time, hitting his twin in the gut. Sunstreaker stumbling back at the hit, growling as he regained balance. 

"I do not cry over anything or anyone." He roared throwing back a punch, hitting Sides in the helm. 

The twins continued their fight. Shouting out profanities at each other. Taking stabs at one another without using swords, just their words. It caught the attention of others in the hanger. Even Diesel and Nichole could hear the metal clashing together from out in the yard. 

"Will you two knock it off!" Yelled Ironhide as he stormed into the hanger. The two ignored him, throwing punches at each other. Optimus drove in from a patrol. He transformed quick and swiftly before storming to the two frontliners. 

"That's enough!" He roared, his deep low voice echoing off the walls. He grabbed the two by the door wings, ripping them off each other. 

"I don't know what that was about, but it better not happen again." He warned them. Sunstreaker pulled himself out of Optimus's grip, transformed and drove off without another word. 

"Yes, sir." Sideswipe said as Optimus let him go. Sideswipe looked the way his brother drove off. He noticed Nichole staring the same way as well, then she looked at him. She could see the hurt in his eyes, the regret from fighting his brother. They stared at each other for a moment, until she broke away. He watched her turn around and her and Diesel continue on their way. 

Once the two thought they were far enough away to start talking, Diesel broke the silence. 

"So, tell me." He looked down at her as they stopped. 

"He keeps bringing up the mission in Karz." She began, her tone dead. 

"The only mission I wasn't with you on." Diesel acknowledged. She nodded in agreement before continuing. 

"He thinks I'm still hanging myself on it. When he knows that I don't give to shits. I went in, did my job, then left. He says that's why I can't have a weapon anymore. I know we joke that it was from the warning shot I gave, but I'd rather just think its from that, than what happened in Karz." She wouldn't admit it, not ever, not even to Diesel, but it was not one of the proudest moments for her. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Diesel sat down next to her. 

"What's there to talk about?" She asked back. 

They didn't notice the golden Lambo creep up behind them. Sunstreaker stopped a few feet away, knowing it was wrong to eavesdrop, but he couldn't stop himself. 

"I killed innocent people, Diesel." Her voice just as dead as before. Sunstreaker couldn't believe what he heard. He couldn't see her face. He couldn't see the guilt that loomed in her eyes. He didn't want to stay any longer. Now he was even more confused. His spark wanted a murderer. Yes, he has killed people, but not because he wanted too. What he just heard was unbelievable. 

"The women begged me not to kill their children. They begged me to kill them first. I can still hear their screams. Their cries." Sunstreaker wasn't sure how much more he could hear. He had to go tell someone there was a murderer living right down the hall. It made sense why she wasn't allowed a weapon. She could kill them all. He left as quietly as he could. 

"You were ordered too. You were just doing what you were told. They were going to die anyway, if it wasn't by your hand." Diesel defended. Sunstreaker was already out of range to hear. 

"I know Diesel. I always did what I was told. I was the only one with the guts to do it. No one else had the stomach to handle it. The people were sick, very sick." She spat. She stood abruptly. 

"They sent me in with enough ammo to do the job. I was sent to go in, kill the residents and get out. It was a lone mission only few knew about." He took a digit and rubbed her back. Calming her down. He knew it was hard for her to talk about some things. She tried to keep everything inside. 

"But it was easier to do than what I was forced to do growing up." She said in barely a whisper. "So much easier." She knows she should feel awful for what she did overseas, but she doesn't. It truly meant nothing to her. It was easy for her to kill and not feel attached. It had always been easy.

"Sideswipe! Sideswipe!!" Sunstreaker yelled through the bond. 

"What" Sideswipe growled through the bond, still mad at his twin for earlier. 

"Look I'm sorry, but you got to hear this." Sunstreaker said running into their room. Sideswipe was laying on his berth, looking through some data pads. He looked up as he heard his brother trying to catch his breath. Sideswipe leaned up and looked at his brother in confusion. 

"She's a murderer." Sunstreaker spit out, sitting in his berth. 

"We are all murderers. We have all killed. How is she any different?" Sideswipe asked. 

"No, we kill cause we had no choice, not because we wanted too. Except for us in the pits. We had to survive, but we also didn't kill sparkling's. Going off topic. She slaughtered femmes and sparkling's for no reason." Sideswipe took in the information from his twin. 

"Have you thought about if she had to as well?" Sunstreaker couldn't believe what he just heard. 

"Are you defending her?" 

Sideswipe shook his head. "She's military, she's just like us in away. Maybe she had to kill them. Do I like that idea? No. I think that's awful that she would do such a thing. I'm not trying to defend her. I just don't think you should go straight to that conclusion." Sunstreaker gave a huff and looked away from his twin. 

"Since when do you act so reasonable?" Sunstreaker scowled. His twin couldn't hold back a laugh. 

"Either way I want to know more. I mean why would she have to kill femmes and sparkling's? She said it herself, she killed innocent people." Sunstreaker continued. His brother nodding in agreement.   
Sideswipe got off the berth and looked at his brother, "Well let's go." 

"What now? We can't just go ask her?" 

"Why not?" 

"Because she doesn't know I heard her." Sunstreaker gave him a sheepish grin. 

"You eavesdropped on her. Dude, she is going to be pissed." Sunstreaker stood and gave his brother a playful shove. 

"Yeah I know. I already know. Lets just keep this between us until we have more information." Sideswipe nodded in agreement. 

"We are missing something, though. Something must have happened to her, to make her do that." Sideswipe wondered as he sat back down. 

"Maybe we should go to Ratchet. He might be able to help." He offered. Sunstreaker gave him a disapproving look. 

"No way! Ratchet will probably make it worse and he might ruin my paint job. Your out of your mind." Sunstreaker protested. Sideswipe rolled his eyes at his disgruntled twin. 

"Well fine. Then we should recharge we have patrol early in the morning." "Fine." The two laid down on their berths. Sideswipe didn't take long to pass out. Sunstreaker on the other hand took longer than it should off. 

The sun was just rising out of the horizon when the twins got up to go on patrol. Yellows, oranges mixing with blues and purples. The clouds line just the right way to lend the colors a hand. That was one of the amazing things about Earth, that Cybertron didn't have. Sunstreaker could watch the sun rise or fall all day if he could. He's painted the sky a few times since being on Earth. Though he could never get it just like the real thing, no matter how hard he tried. By time the twins got back, the sun was high in the sky. Not a cloud in the sky. No Decepticons either. It was making the team restless. Sunstreaker had been the only one to get out of base and not just to patrol. Sideswipe envied him, but not so much, because he didn't want to be near the stormy weather that was Nichole. The two raced back to base, going above 100 miles per hour. The two drifted around the corner entering the hanger. Dust flying in from behind them. The two lambos came to a quick stop but didn't transform yet. A car wash is what they were going to go for next. 

"Can't you stay the fuck out of my way?" She scowled at the golden lambo as drove around the corner. He just barely missed Nichole as she was walking into the hanger. He transformed fast and disorganized, unlike his usual graceful, beautiful transformation. His driver side door flew open and his holoform stormed out slamming the door behind him. She stayed where she stood as his tall toned form came just inches from her, towering over her, looking down at her, huffing with anger. Her stone-gray eyes staring into his bright blue holoform ones. 

"You have no idea how hard I try and stay away from you, but somehow I keep running into you. Unless you are doing it on purpose." He growled. She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrow at him. 

"Trust me, I want nothing to do with you." She attacked. He didn't want to admit it, but for some reason, his spark hurt from hearing her spiteful word. His face softened as he looked at her. She felt something inside her break upon seeing the saddened look on his face. It angered her that he was beginning to affect her. Then he asked something. Something no ones ever thought to ask her. It broke the mask, shattering it to pieces and maybe it was just because he said it. 

"Who made you this way? How did you become so heartless?" His voice softened with his eyes. Then he had to add to the broken pieces. "I thought I was bad. I thought no one could be as heartless at me, but you proved me wrong. Your worse than I am. I can actually care and show feelings. I actually try and get along with my comrades. You...you just shove everyone away, hurting them without even saying anything and when you do, you crush them. You have no guilt or remorse. What happened to you to make you this way? And you know what else...at least I haven't killed innocent people." His holoform dissipated and left her standing there. 

She's been called heartless, cold, black hearted, and so many others. No one ever thought to ask her why. No one ever seemed to care too. Even from how Sunstreaker said it, it still sounded harsh. Like he was just trying to get at her. But she saw it in his eyes, she saw the hurt she caused. He cared about her. He would never admit it, but she saw it. His words ran though her mind as she stood there, unable to move. The fact that he heard her, he didn't have all the facts, but Sunstreaker thinks she killed people because she wanted too. It wasn't until large footsteps began shaking the ground she stood on, she looked up. Diesel stood in front of her. He knelt down in front of her, holding his servo out in front of her. She couldn't help but smile and climb on. She sat hugging her knees as he strolled out of the hanger and outside. She hid her face in her knees, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to breach. 

"Why does it hurt, Diesel?" She mumbled through shaky breaths. "I haven't felt hurt like this before. I don't understand it. Every time we talk, it's not talking its yelling, but every time I feel something in my chest. No matter how much I try to stay away from him, I still end up running into him. My nightmares are beginning to show him. Why is this happening to me?" Diesel set a digit on her back, rubbing circles trying to sooth her. 

"Your beginning to care for the mech." She brought her head up and looked at him in confusion. 

"I don't know how to care. I don't know anything about caring." She argued. 

"You care for me." He raised an eyebrow at her. 

"Yeah but you're the only one. I never knew what caring was tell I met you. I was so broken, I still am broken." 

"Maybe he's broken too. Maybe that's why you two pull towards each other." Looked up at him, her face showing confusion around the small tears cascading down her face. 

"Sunstreaker, broken? I'm sure all the boots are broken in some way. I'm sure you were at some point. Y'all lost your home world. Y'all just earned to adapt to new surroundings. Like Marines. Like me. You adapt and overcome." Her face went straight as she spoke, looking out over his digits in the horizon. 

"What is wrong with me?" Sunny wondered aloud as he paced around his and Sides room. 

"Nothings wrong with you." Sides tried to reassure him. 

"I'm having these strange feelings. I've never felt before." He continued. 

"You love her." Sides said disappointment showing in his voice. 

Sunstreaker stopped pacing and stared at his twin. Sideswipe tried to give his brother a warm smile but couldn't help the frown forming on his face. 

"Love?" Sunstreaker questioned. 

All Sides could do was nod, his optics staring at the ground. He couldn't look at his brother. He knew what his brother had been feeling the past two months. He knew he loved her. He knew the love he had for him was fading. Though he knew no one would ever replace him, but he didn't want to lose his brother to someone so heartless and cold. She was worse than Sunny in many ways. She didn't care what she said or if she hurt anyone. 

"If I love her." Sunstreaker started, pausing for a moment to recap what he said to her earlier. "I wouldn't have said those things I said to her earlier today after I almost collided with her. After what she said to me. It actually hurt, Sides. It pained me to hear her say she wanted nothing to do with me. Then I asked her how she could act the way she does. I told her she was worse than me. I left so quickly, from how angry I was at her, but I did notice something in her eyes. I can't love someone like that, Sides. Would you?" Sunny slid down the side of the wall, tell he was sitting with his knees bent. 

"I also said I didn't kill innocent people." Sunny continued. Sides gave him a disapproving look before he sat down next to him. 

"It's okay to feel that way, Sunny. Maybe there is more to her than meets the eye. She's only been here for a few months. We know its going to take time to get her to talk. We still don't even know what happened when she was injured. Diesel won't even talk about it. I can feel how you feel and I know I feel for her. The more you test her and resent her, the more I feel it. And you should really apologize to her for that. We don't even know why she killed them." He explained to Sunny. His servo on his shoulder. 

"I'm not going to lie to you, brother. You'd see though it right through it anyway, but I feel a pull towards her. I feel the need to protect her, be around her. I know I've said it before, but now...but now I'm starting to believe it" He looked over at his brother, arms loosely laying on his knees. 

"Go to her. I feel it too. I think I only feel it, because you do. But I think you should tell her how you feel." Sideswipe gave him a nudge and a half smile. 

Sunstreaker stormed down and out of the hanger searching for Nichole. He knew she had to be with Diesel and last he saw was the two walking outside. He stopped and looked around the wide-open area. It didn't take long for him to spot Diesel and Nichole walking next to him. he picked up his feet and ran out to them, stopping not to far. 

"NICHOLE!" He shouted to her. She turned towards the voice and was taken back at seeing Sunstreaker. 

"What do you want?" She yelled at him, crossing her arms. Diesel had turned and stepped behind her, ready to protect her. 

"I need to talk to you...please." He whispered the last word, walking a little closer. She caught it and surprise washed over her face. 

"Okay talk." 

"Alone." Diesel gave him a look of confusion, but not willing to leave. 

"What you have to say to me can be said in front of Diesel. He'll find out anyway." She said in a calm voice. Sunstreaker hesitated for a moment. 

"I'm sorry." He blurted. 

There was a pause. Time stopped. The two stared at each other for that moment. His optics were soft and full of sorrow. Her stony grays held nothing, like they normally do. 

He was hoping for some kind of reaction out of her. Hoping she would accept his apology. He couldn't take his eyes off her. He really took in what she looked like. Her stony gaze, her long brown hair swaying in the light breeze, the wrinkles under her right eye, making her look older than she is. But the stitch less scar gave her, her intimidating looks she was known for. Her lips were plump and soft looking, a thought came to his mind. One he never thought he would think of about her. He wondered what they would feel like against his. he brought his optics back up to her eyes. Then he saw it, the gleam shine quickly over her eyes, like on the first time he met her. His spark sped up, humming louder, his cooling fans kicked in. he knew she had to hear it. He looked away, not sure what to do. Then he looked back when he heard dirt crunching under feet. 

"I'm sorry too." She looked up at him, he saw a flicker of guilt. He transformed and his holoform came to life stepping out of his vehicle. He slowly approached her, not sure if he really should. She didn't stop him and soon he was mere inches from her. 

He noticed things he hadn't before, now that he was so close to her and it wasn't because they were yelling at each other. He could see the circles under her eyes, the light wrinkles beginning to form under her right. With the stitches removed, her right side was beginning mirroring her left. The scar was a darkened pink almost red, deep and still healing. It creeped down at an angle from the bridge of her nose down to the back of her jaw and down her neck, stopping just above her collarbone. He noticed little freckles along her nose and a few on her cheeks. Her lips were just a bit lighter than her bronzed tan she had and were beginning to look chapped. There were small scars lining her face, ones you would never see unless you were standing as close as he was. He looked into her eyes, her stony gray eyes. They weren't as stone cold as everyone thought they were. Its like he could see past that cold-hearted look. There were small flecks of blue, just dying to come out. There had to be a time when her eyes were once a beautiful blue. 

They stood there for who know how long. Gazing at each other, no words being spoke. Diesel had left the two to talk and he left with a smile on his face. Two severely broken sentient beings were bringing themselves together. He hoped it would be good for both of them. 

"I'm not sure what to do now." He mumbled. She looked down quick then back up, biting her lip. 

"I don't know either." She mumbled back. He couldn't stop staring at her while she bit her lip. His sparked seemed to skip a beat. It made her sexy in a way. Like the scar wasn't even there. He brought his hand up slowly, hesitating right as he was about to put it against her cheek, the one that held the scar. He wanted to feel her skin under his touch but didn't know how to tell her. Before he could act on anything, she leaned into his touch. Her eyes were closed, taking in the feel of his palm caressing her cheek. His thumb lightly trails the scar, just down to the edge of her jaw. A shiver ran up her spin. A visible shake took over her shoulder. He quickly retracted his hand, afraid he had hurt her. Her eyes shot open, looking into his. Confusion and hurt mixing together, like a storm forming a tornado. Realizing he didn't hurt her, he moved one step closer, almost closing the gap. His hand made its way back to her cheek. 

"Beautiful." Sunstreaker whispered under his breath. 

She looked up in surprise. She wasn't sure if she heard him right. "What did you say?" She asked curiously. He took his hand back and rubbed the back of his neck. 

"I said your beautiful." He said without looking at her. She felt her cheeks heat up, a red tint beginning to glow. She knew it and she turned away. 

"No don't turn away." He said so sweetly, she wasn't sure if it was really Sunstreaker. 

"No..um I need to...um I need to go." She struggled to get out, she covered her face and rushed to find Diesel. Sunstreaker turned around fast, trying to stop her, but it was no use. He's arm reached for her and a frown formed on his face, watching her run off. His holoform dissipated and he transformed into his bipedal mode. His spark hurt, he didn't understand it. He wanted to go after her, but he didn't want to scare her even more than she already was. He decided it would be best to not go inside at the moment. Fear of running into her. So, quickly he transformed into this alt mode and sped off. He need to clear his helm anyway. He wasn't sure how to respond to what just happened.


	9. Story Time

His brother was on the other end of the bond. Wondering what happened. As Sunstreaker had kept Sideswipes part of the bond closed off while he talked to Nichole. He didn't know how he would explain to his brother. He wasn't even sure himself of what happened. 

"Sunny, tell me what happened?" Sideswipe nagged on the other end. 

"I'm not even sure." He told him, pushing him through the bond. 

"I called her beautiful and she ran away." 

"Maybe she's never had someone give her a complement." Sides suggested. 

"Maybe. Is she still in the hanger?" 

"Nah she had to go see Ratchet for something." 

"Her surgery isn't until next week." Sunstreaker mumbled. 

"She's getting surgery? For what?" He forgot Sideswipe didn't know about Nichole's surgery. 

"I don't know what for. I just overheard her and Ratchet talking about it the other day." He drove back into the bay. He slowly transformed, hydraulics hiss, gears grind. Sunstreaker's transformations was one of the best out of the team. He always had to look good. 

Most of the Autobots were in the hanger, besides Optimus, Ratchet and Diesel. 

"What's going on?" Sunstreaker asked his twin. Sides gave him a shrug, unsure about it as well. Not too much longer, Optimus, Lennox and Epps walked out of one of the conference rooms. None looked happy. 

"We got word of Decepticon sightings in Afghanistan. So far no damage or interaction with civilians." Lennox started. 

"Autobots. We need to go and check it out. Only about 4 or 5 of us need to go. I will lead, who wants to volunteer?" Optimus stood over his Autobots. Looking them over. 

"I'll go, Optimus." Mirage held up his hand. 

"I'll roll along." Jazz stepped forward. 

"Sunny and I will go." Sideswipe offered. A disgruntled look showed on Sunstreaker's face before he slapped the back of his brother's head for the nickname. 

"No, I need you two at base and as backup." Optimus ordered. The twins looked at each other in confusion before nodding in agreement. 

"Then three of us will go." Arcee rolled up with her sisters behind her. 

"Perfect. Autobots...Roll out." The ones going began their transformations into their alt modes. Optimus lead and the others followed. 

The other Autobots, besides Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, went to find stuff to do. Whether it was cleaning weapons, training, or socializing in the rec room. 

"I need to find Nichole." Sunstreaker said to Sideswipe before walking towards the medical room. Sideswipe decided to tag along. In the medical room, Ratchet was going over the surgery with Nichole. Diesel stood, arms crossed, leaning against the wall behind the human berth. 

"Now you can still change your mind and have someone at the VA do it. I'm sure Lennox can get you in quick." Ratchet restated. He read over how to do the surgery a hundred times, but he was still nervous. 

"No, if someone is going to do the surgery, it will be you." She stated if not ordered, it sounded like. 

"Alright, alright. Just be in here by 0600 on Monday. Come in something comfortable. You'll be laying down for a while. Don't eat or drink after midnight. After surgery you going to be on bedrest. You will be in your room. Not in Diesels cab." He pointed a digit at her, his optics staring into her eye's, so she knew he was serious. She rolled her eyes at him but nodded. 

"I'll see you then." She gave him a mock salute and her and Diesel left the room. 

Outside the room, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe waited for them to come out. Nichole was the first one to walk out. Her eyes immediately met Sunstreaker's optics, then a few seconds she looks away, her face never showing the emotion filling up inside. Her stomach began to twist and curl, her head seemed to become dizzy. Feelings she's never felt before. For a moment she thought she was sick. 

"Nichole." Sunstreaker put some strain into her name, his optics never leaving her. 

She stopped in her tracks and without turning around, "What do you want?" She asks. 

"Can we please talk?" Sunstreaker walks up behind her, hoping she will turn and look at him. 

"There is nothing to talk about." Her voice thick, hiding what she is really feeling. 

"yes..." 

"No!" She raised her voice cutting him off, looking over her shoulder. 

"I should not have forgiven you so easily." Her voice darkened, the room seemed to darken. A shock look came over his face plate. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe looked at each other in confusion as well as shock. 

"What more..." Sunstreaker started. 

"Don't start. You don't know me. You know nothing about my time overseas. You don't know anything of what I was ORDERED TO DO. The next time I catch you eavesdropping, your spark will go out. That's not a threat, that's a promise." She glared at him over her shoulder, daggers hitting him straight in the spark. 

He staggered back, hand to his spark, trying to catch his breath. He felt as if he had just been shot. "Sunny?" Sideswipe let his brother lean against him. Sideswipe looked over at the cold-hearted Marine. He could feel the hurt she is giving his brother. He could feel his brothers spark yearning for her, for her to not be serious. He looked at Diesel, hoping for a sign she wasn't being real. Diesel kept his gaze away from the twins. Diesel knew what she was doing, but he knew he couldn't stop her. 

Her shoulders fell forward, then she walked away. Diesel took a quick glance at the twins. Sunstreaker was still holding onto his spark, watching the women walk away. He couldn't take his optics off of her. Diesel knew they both were hurting. There was nothing he could do. They now had to work it out between themselves. The fight would always continue, but hopefully in their spark/heart, they would see that they are meant to be. Diesel gave a low sigh, turned and walked away. 

"Diesel." He stopped in his tracks. 

"I need to know...How do I win her over?" Sunstreaker's voice was quiet, almost to quiet. 

"Son...that is something you have to figure out. I can't help you." Diesel said over his shoulder, then walked away. 

He caught up quickly to Nichole. She was to angry to care if he was there or not. She kept walking, Soldiers move quickly out of her way. Everyone had heard her voice echo throughout the hallways and bays. She didn't stop until she stood in front of the range room. 

"Nichole?" Diesel warned. She snapped her eyes to his optics. He could see the fire raging in her eyes. Her stone-cold grays were laced with rage. There was no stopping what she was about to do. She looked back in the room and strutted in. Not stopping until she was by the weapons. Men moved out of her way, curious yet scared of what she was about to do. 

She looked over to the other side of the range, looking over the targets that were set up. She grabbed a small pistol, loaded it with eight shots. Before Diesel could reach her, she found the target with the human silhouette and shot. 

Firing out the eight rounds in the pistol while screaming a battle cry. 

She doesn't know how long she stood there, how many rounds the continued to fire. The target wasn't even there anymore. She just kept shooting tell the paper fell thin, tell the hole through the chest of it was smoking. No one dared to stop her. No one dared get in her way. Diesel had to hold back Lennox and Epps from stopping her. She was going against her orders. At this point she didn't care. She cared about nothing. Any soldiers that had been in the room, stood still near the door, watching her get her anger out. Watching in fear that she might turn on them. The base had been put on lock down because know one knew if she would turn the weapon on them. She was unpredictable at this point. Diesel did everything he could to keep the other at bay for her. He tried to convince them she would do no harm. She intended to do no harm, only harm to the target in front of her. Her intent was to get the rage that was boiling inside her out. She reached for another weapon, more ammo. 

"Nichole!" A husky voice rang throughout the room. Her head snapped to the golden finned Autobot.

"Please." 

BANG 

"Stop" 

BANG 

"Nichole see" 

BANG BANG. 

Sunstreaker huffed in annoyance. Nichole eyes never left his optics as she took each shot. 

"Listen please." 

BANG...BANG...BANG. 

He took a step closer, much to Diesel delight. Each step he took, she took a shot. He transformed and let his holoform come online. He slowly tried to make his way to her but stopped dead in his tracks. 

She turned the weapon on him. 

"Take one more step...I dare you." She said through clenched teeth. More soldiers made their way quickly out of the room. Not wanting to stay around for what could happen. 

"Fuck." Lennox whispered. Everyone stilled, waiting for her next move. 

Sunstreaker put his hands up in defense. 

"Nichole, please listen." 

He jumped as she shot the target once again, then brought the weapon back to him. 

"Listen to what? Your lies." She snarled. 

"No, my apology." 

"LIES!" She screamed, she began to shake with anger. She tried as hard as she could to control herself. 

"Nichole, you need to calm down." Diesel stepped in. It was going to far. 

"Please, Nichole. I am truly sorry. I should have never listened. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. I know you value trust more than anything. All I want is that trust. I want...no I need your trust." He looked away before he continued. 

"Nichole" He started, his voice barely above a whisper. 

"I need you." He looked back up and met her eyes. A light glaze formed over her eyes, tears she would never let break. 

"I know you feel the pull. I know I messed up and should of never said those things." He wanted more than anything to walk up and caress her cheek again. He wanted more than anything to wrap his arms around her waist, pull her in close and hold her. Kiss the pain away. Kiss the pain she was holding in. He knows she wouldn't shoot him, he could feel it. The silent room watched as he took the small steps to get close to her. 

She watched his every move. Her finger on the trigger twitched. She knew she couldn't do it. For the first time she couldn't pull the trigger. 

Her hand dropped, the gun fell to the floor. Sunstreaker caught her before she could fall to the ground. She finally broke. He broke through. 

Diesel ushered everyone out of the room. Telling them to leave the two alone. Once he was sure everyone left, he left as well. Closing the door behind him so they could have privacy. Sunstreaker kneeled on the floor next to Nichole, his arms wrapped around her body. Holding the shaking girl close, while he rested his chin on her head. Her head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck while she let everything out. He ran his fingers threw her hair, trying to calm her down. He was just as confused, and she was about the pull, but he had time to adjust to it. There was no denying it now. The room was deadly silent, except for the light sniffles from Nichole. Time was unknown to them at this point. Neither cared to know at this point. They don't know how long they sat there on the floor. Dust and dirt covering the knees on their jeans. Tears stained Sunstreakers shirt. As much as he loved to keep a good image, he could care less. The broken-down female in front of him was the only he cared about at this moment. 

Her hands fell to her thighs as her sniffling slow came to an end. She had cried to many tears and she wasn't sure if it was for just Sunstreaker or if it was for her past wrongdoings. She didn't care, a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She moved her head to where it seemed to be pushing against the Autobot, but she was only leaning, not ready to lift up her head. Sunstreaker kept his fingers brushing through her hair. Seeing as she hasn't yelled at him yet for it, he assumed she liked it.

"We caught wind of a plagued town about ten kliks from our camp. Our orders were to kill them all. No one knew if they were contagious or not. No one knew anything about it. Our higher ups didn't want to wait and find out. it was the five of us. We didn't know what we were going to find." She paused to take in a deep breath. 

"As we started walking towards the city, the more bodies we found. You couldn't tell who they were. They were covered in boils and pus. It was disgusting to look at. It was the first time I wanted to throw up since I was in. I could handle anything, but that... that stench was brutal. When we got closer we found women and children. You could tell who was infected and who wasn't. The ones that were, just suffering, waiting to die. We had to put on our hazmat suits and gas masks. When we called in about the women and children, saying that not all looked infected. My team...my team didn't want to kill them." 

"They didn't even think they could killed the children that were infected." She looked up at Sunstreaker as she said this, a dark look in her eye seemed to be glowing. Then she looked away as if nothing happened. Leaning her head back against him. 

"I remember calling them cowards, pussy's, weak, any name I could think of. It would be an easy mission. Just go in and shoot. How hard is that? Well they didn't care what I called them, they weren't going to do it. So, I had to go alone. I grabbed extra ammo from them. We had just enough to kill everyone. There were around thirty people in the small village. The plague had already killed over half of them. I can still hear them screaming. Begging for mercy as I shot one after another. Most that were infected were too weak to move and the ones still healthy enough to run, wouldn't. I expected some to, but no one did. I did a walk through of every bungalow, making sure I didn't miss anybody and if I did, they didn't last long. It was a silent mission, one no one knew about unless they had to. Our superiors didn't want the public to know we gunned down a whole village. Out of the five of us, it was said I was the one that was going to go crazy first, because I was the one who fulfilled the assignment. No, two offed themselves not even a week later of getting back to the states. One went crazy, but never killed himself. And the last one did alright. I know he has some problems, but not enough to worry about. We were the only two who could act like it never happened." She spilled the rest out, not even looking at Sunstreaker. Most seemed muffled into his chest, but he heard every word. 

They sat in silence again. Sunstreaker taking in what he just heard. He didn't know what to say. By the tone of her voice as she told him the story, she wasn't upset by it. At one point she sounded guilty, but it quickly vanished. It was an order, like if he was ordered to do something, he would do it without asking. She did the same thing. Do as your told and don't ask questions. 

"Growing up, Sides and I had to fight to survive. And when I mean fight, I mean it. We were gladiators in the pits. We grew up fighting in the pits, having to kill other cybertronians to survive. We have a pit coding that caused us to fight like animals. It was a horrible place to grow up, but we needed to. Fighting was the only way we could get energon. I don't know how many I killed, how many Sides and I killed. We were the best of the best, until the war broke out." He seemed to stare at the wall as he told her his story. He had yet to notice that she was looking up at him with interest. 

They had something in common. Well they had more than one thing in common.

"Do you regret it?" She asked, his eyes snapped down to hers. 

"Sometimes, but we survived. I don't know what I would of done if I lost Sides. It was the only way for us to live." He said with a shrug. 

"Do you regret killing all those people?" his eye still gazing into hers, holding the stare as tight as he could.

"No." She said in a dead voice. He looked away and nodded. 

"Come we should get you cleaned up and something to eat." Sunstreaker said changing the subject. There was something she wasn't telling him and it he knew it would be awhile tell she could trust him enough tell. He could tell by the way her eyes looked away from his for just a seconded, not even a second. It was barely noticeable, but he caught it. So, he decided to leave it alone. She regretted something, but he would have to wait to find out. He stood and held his hand out for her to grab. She hesitated for just a moment but grabbed it anyway and stood. The feeling of electricity running through them, made their hair stand on end. She looked straight into his eyes, to see if he felt it too. They way his bright blue eyes gazed into her eyes and widened the moment they touched, told her enough. She grabbed his other hand and they stood there for a few more moments, just gazing into each other's eyes. She had to look up to him as the top of her head reach just under his collarbone. 

"Just kiss already!" two voices yelled form the entry to the range. 

The glares the couple held to the two Autobots that interrupted seemed to shoot them straight to the core. 

"If looks could kill." Sideswipe said silently before backing up. Diesel didn't say anything but continue to watch the two. A grin stuck to his face plates. Sunstreaker looked back at the tear stained women he was still holding hands with. Her eyes were fixed on Diesel as if talking to him without words. There was danger clouding her eyes and hate for the ruined moment. 

"Get out!" She shouted, her voice gone cold, making all three jump. 

The two ran without looking back but laughing all the way down the hall. She looked back up to Sunstreaker, clearing her throat. 

"Well now that they are gone, how bout that kiss?" He said with a smirk. His eyes glowing with hope and happiness. Something he never thought he would find for a femme. She rolled her eyes before letting go of his hands and walking out of the room. He watched her walk away for a moment. Taking in how her aft looked perfect in the jeans she was wearing, before running after her. 

"Wait up." He yelled after her. She looked over her shoulder giving him a smirk before running out of the room and down the hall. His alt left almost forgotten in the range room. He knew he would be able to catch her right away, but where was the fun in that. She ran as fast as she could, dodging people and Autobots. She turned down a different hallway that led to the barracks rooms. She struggled to get her key out of her pocket for her room, hoping to get in before he could catch her. Just as she was about to put the key into the handle, his arms were wrapped around her waist. 

"Where do you think your going?" He breathed into her ear. His breath tickling her neck, giving her a different sensation, one she wasn't used to. She tried hard not to laugh, she tried to get out of his grip, but he held on tight. 

"Let go of me!" She yelled, trying to sound angry. 

"But I don't want to." He whined. 

"I finally got you. I don't want to let you go." Though he couldn't see it, she rolled her eyes at him. She wouldn't admit it, but she felt something while he held her. She doesn't know what the feeling is, but she like it. 

So much for being a stone-cold warrior.


	10. Laughter

The next few days was spent with Sunstreaker trying to keep Nichole as close as possible. Much to Diesel's dismay. Nichole was defiantly not ready for the clinginess of Sunstreaker and after the second day, she began hiding from him. For the first time in her life she felt bad. She didn't want to say anything in fear of hurting his feelings. Sideswipe explained how possessive he can get, to her when he found her hiding in the one of the supply closets. He only found her because Sunstreaker was looking for her and he said he would help. Sideswipe stayed in that closet with her for over an hour trying to explain it to her. It was difficult for her to understand. She only dealt with one kind of possessiveness and that wasn't a good kind and she was glad to be away from it. This knew kind was almost traumatizing for her. 

"I'll talk to him for you. I know you're not gonna tell me why your scared of it and I'm not gonna ask, but please talk to Sunny about it. Otherwise it will only get worse." Sides told her, she nodded in understanding and the two finally left the closet. 

Not a second later, just as the door closed behind them, Sunstreaker was there. 

"Where were you too?" He asked in an accusing tone and eyebrow raised looking down at Nichole. 

"Oh, don't act like that. I found her hiding in there." Sideswipe said angerly, glaring at his brother and walking away. They both watch the red twin walk away in a huff. Then gave themselves a confusing glance. 

"What did you say to him?" Sunstreaker accused. 

"Excuse me? What did I say? I didn't fucking say anything." She snapped back at him. He looked taken back by her anger. Anger flared through his spark for a moment before calming himself down. He bent down and before she could retaliate he picked her up. "Woah woah" She yelled falling back on against his palm. 

"Put me down, Sunstreaker." She yelled up to him. He just shook his head and continued to walk. 

She huffed in anger and crossed her arms. 

"Where are you taking me?" She continued to bug as he walked. 

"Well if you wouldn't have been running from me. you would know that you have your surgery tomorrow. And I want to spend time with you before your out of it for a week." She gave a silent groan at his answer. She understood but didn't want to be smothered. He walked into the hanger and set her down, so he could transform. She watched as his body configured into his gorgeous Lamborghini mode. He opened the passenger side door for her a she didn't hesitate to hop in. He online his holoform and grabbed her hand. Holding onto it tightly, as if afraid she might let go. 

"You know I'm going to want to hang out with Diesel too." She said slyly. 

He looked over at her and smirked. She looked at him in confusion. 

"What?" 

"I already talked to Diesel. He's going to be there for your surgery. I will be for the beginning, but I have patrol unfortunately half way through. And Diesel knows I want to spend time with you. He had eight years of dealing with you. Its my turn." He brought her hand up to his lips and gave it a light kiss. 

She gave a low growl, unsure if she likes the feeling it gave her. Touch was still new to her and she is trying to be okay with it, for Sunstreaker's sake. There was no getting out of this now. Not that she already admitted to him that she felt something, even though she still had no idea what it was. Since Diesel, for the first time she felt safe. She still didn't put all her trust in Sunstreaker, but he now knows something about her, only few knew. He had yet to go and tell everyone, so hopefully it would stay that way. 

"What are you thinking about?" He asked curiously, eyes focused on her. She had realized that she was staring hard out the window. Thinking hard about the past few days. 

"Just how new this all is. I'm still adjusting to it all. I'm not sure if I like it or now, but I know I want to like it." She said giving him a small smile. He gave a small chuckle, kissing her hand again. 

"I'm new to it as well. We will get through it together. If you'll let me." 

"I'll try. I'm pretty independent. Now where are we going?" All he did was chuckle to her and kept driving.

They were well out of base now and she still had no idea where he was taking her. The further she got from Diesel the more nervous she got. Sunstreaker would never know what's going on in her mind, her face told nothing. She had to keep her hand from squeezing his hand as he held it, for it would give it way how upset she was getting and she wasn't about to be questioned. Her eyes stared out the window, watching the scenery fly by. The city flew by before she knew it and they were in the country side. Still confused. After some time, Sunstreaker pulled into a driveway, down a long driveway. There was a house in the distance as well as a barn, but before they even got to it, he turned down another dirt road that led off the driveway. It didn't take much longer until he pulled to a stop. In front of them was a wide-open area. Targets were set up a few yards away. "What is this?" Nichole looked from the range set up to Sunstreaker. 

"This is what I think humans call a 'date'." He smiled and got out of the car, quickly running to the other side to open the door for Nichole. She let a grin slip after he stepped out. He held his hand out for her, which she grabbed and pulled her out. He walked her to a table that had a few boxes placed on it. 

"I convinced Lennox to let me take you shooting in a more controlled environment and away from people. I didn't know which weapon you would rather shoot. So, Lennox gave me a few options." She stayed silent as he opened the boxes for her to see. Four beautiful pistols lay out in front of her. A smile creeped up on her face, her skin began to glow, and her eyes sparkled at the sight. He watched her lightly run her fingers over each weapon as she tried to decide which one to shoot first. 

The one she grabbed first was a Glock Gen4 G19 9mm. It fit nicely into the palm of her hand as she gripped the pistol grip. "Let's start with this one." She smirked.

It had been about two hours by time the couple got finished shooting. It was the most fun either had have in a long time. Neither had ever laughed that much. Nichole sat on the grass cleaning one of the pistols, Sunstreaker right next to her, cleaning another one. 

"I don't think I've ever laughed this much." She admitted. She didn't have to look at him to know Sunstreaker was looking at her. 

"When was the last time?" He wondered. 

"Honestly I don't know. Probably before PFC Haynes and Lance Corporal Jordan died." Her tone saddened, making Sunstreaker frown. 

"Who are they?" 

"They were the two that found out who Diesel was with me. They helped keep his secret with me. Right up until they died a few years ago. They were on a separate mission and didn't make it back." Sunstreaker expected her to start to cry, but no tears came from her eyes. Her tone showed sadness, but her eyes showed anger. 

"We weren't able to save them." He wasn't sure if he would try and comfort her or just let her be. So, he chose a different route. 

"What did you three laugh about?" 

"I'm not sure I can remember." 

"Well try, I want to know." 

"Why?" 

"I want to get to know you. I want to hear stories from your past." Her eyes snapped to his. All he could do was smile at her. 

"You don't want to know my past. It isn't something that should be talked about." Her eyes turned dark and cold and she went back to focusing on the weapon. 

"How am I supposed to get to know you and how you are you, if I don't know anything about you." He pushed his words into her. He had set the weapon back down and stayed focused on her. She sighed before answering. 

"Look I don't want to argue after we just had a great time. I can finally say I did something fun and exciting. I don't want to run the moment." 

"I'm apologize. I don't want to make you angry." He whispered looked away. 

"Maybe one day I will be able to tell you, but right now...I want to keep it in the past. Where it belongs." If he would of looked over at her right away, he would of saw the tear she let escape, but she had it wiped away before he could. 

It wasn't long before they were done and on there way back to base. The ride back was a comfortable silence. This time Nichole held his hand happily. No more nerves were rushing though her body, not knowing the unknown. They pulled into the hanger and hopped out, Sunstreaker going back to his bipedal mode. Diesel was hanging in back, talking to some soldiers. He noticed the two and shot a look at Nichole. She shot him back a beaming smile, making him smile as well. Sunstreaker loved the smile she held on her face and it made him even happier that he was the one to put it there. He couldn't believe this girl held his spark. A ruthless killer turned sappy and lovestruck. At least that's what he's hoping. She was defiantly turning the tables. Other emotions were beginning to seep out the sides. Though, most only Sunstreaker and Diesel could see. 

The rest of the day, the two spent relaxing. Nichole doesn't like to relax but being with Sunstreaker seemed to help her. She felt so much calmer than she had ever been. They end up in Sunstreaker's berth, her laying right over his spark. She loved the way the hum of his spark melted her insides. How warm it felt against her cold skin. After today, they won't be able to do this for a few weeks. Ratchet will order bed rest in her own bed and to not be disturbed. Sunstreaker had no idea how he was going to be able to handle that. Being away from her was the last thing he wants to do. 

"Alright you ready for this?" Ratchet asked as he was about to put Nichole under, so he could begin surgery. 

"Yes, Ratchet for the hundredth time." She rolled her eyes. Which he gladly rolled back then put the mask over her, making her fall asleep quick. Diesel and Sunstreaker stood by outside the operating room. Sunstreaker pacing back and forth. 

"Your gonna put a hole in the floor if you keep pacing like that." Diesel stated, watching the impatient mech pace. 

"I'm just worried." 

"I know you are. This is your first time waiting for her like this. I've had to do it dozens of times, but only I had to wait in a motor pool and I couldn't see her tell she recovered enough to come back to work." 

Sunstreaker paused and gave him a curious look. "How many surgeries has she had?" 

Diesel looked up, thinking about it. "oh boy, quite a bit. Not just like surgery's though. She's had stitches mostly. Harm used to find her in strange ways. Though, she was the one who always went towards the danger. She was the only one brave enough. Then she would come out in all sorts of cuts, sometimes broken bones or gun shot wounds." Diesel explained. Sunstreaker walked over to him and sat down next to him. 

"Gun shot wounds?" He asked cautiously. 

"I've said to much. Just remember she's a Marine who's seen a lot of combat. So naturally she could have been shot at." He said rubbing the back of his neck, looking away from the younger mech. 

"What aren't you telling me?" Sunstreaker eyed him down. 

"I can't tell you. That is something you'll have to ask her. I've said to much." Diesel guard went up. Sunstreaker kept an eye on him but didn't want to get him mad at him. To be with Nichole, he had to stay on Diesel's good side. He was already threatened by her guardian more than once. He needed Nichole and Diesel was the way to keep her. He had to keep them both happy. As much as he wishes he could have Nichole all to himself, he knew she would never allow him to take her away from Diesel.

They sat in silence for some time, until Sunstreaker spoke up again. 

"Thank you." It came out barely audible. Thanking was something he hated doing, but I needed to say it. 

"For what?" Diesel wondered, but he had an idea. 

"For saving her." He never looked at him, but he could feel Diesels eyes on him. 

"There is no need to thank me. I wouldn't be able to live without her either." Diesel said quietly. Silence fell over them again. Sunstreaker leaned against the wall, staring at the medical bay doors. Checking his internal clock, he realized he would have to leave soon. Something he did not want to do. He wants to wait here for her, be there when she woke up. Even though she won't be really there, because of the drugs, he just needed to see her and make sure she was alright. 

"Take care of her. I hope to go see her when I get back from patrol." He said as he stood up. 

"Don't worry. She will be fine. Its not her first rodeo." Diesel said with a smile. Sunstreaker looked at him in confusion. 

"It's an Earth saying." He explained laughing at the look on his face. Sunstreaker rolled his eyes and began his trek to the hanger.

It had been almost 4 hours since Nichole went into surgery. Diesel was now pulling a Sunstreaker, pacing back and forth, waiting to hear something. Many who have walked past have tried to help comfort him, but it was futile. It wasn't until Ratchet stepped out of the medical bay doors and walked over to him, did he calm down. 

"How is she, Ratchet?" He said with a worry tone in his voice. 

"I was able to patch up the fracture, she will be in some pain for some while. Especially when eating. She will only be able to eat liquids for a few weeks. Unfortunately, there were already some damage nerves that I was unable to repair. Nothing too serious, just parts of her cheek will feel numb for the rest of her life." He explained. 

"So, it was successful?" Diesel honestly could care less what Ratchet did, he just wanted to make sure she was okay. 

"Yes. She will take a few moments to wake up from the anesthesia, then we will take her to her room. She will need to stay resting for a few weeks." Diesel gave the Doc a curtesy nod and watched him walk back into the med bay. Diesel let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in, happy that she is okay. 

About two weeks have gone by and Nichole is still on bed rest and still unable to chew real food. Sunstreaker stayed with her as much as possible. Diesel doesn't have a holoform, so he was unable to go in and physically see her. At the end of the two-week mark, she was now becoming more aware and restless. The side of her face was still numb from the procedure and made it difficult for her to talk. Sunstreaker put in the back of his mind, that when she is feeling better, to tease her about how she was behaving. Because it was hilarious. 

"ahhh I wahm 'ooo mmoo omehhing." She attempted to growled. Sunstreaker grabbed her hand, trying to get her to calm down and trying hard not to laugh. 

"Maybe I can ask Ratchet and see if we can go for a walk?" He suggested. She gave him an angry nod, not directed towards him, but in general. He gave her hand a kiss quick before linking his comm unit to Ratchet.

Ratchet approved a walk around the base, especially since she had been on bedrest. It will be good for her to use her legs. She was so excited she almost fell off the bed. Sunstreaker had to help keep her standing tell she could hold herself up. The drugs Ratchet made her take, made it harder for her to comprehend her surroundings. Her first time standing up and she saw two of everything. It took a few moments for her to get her bearings, but once everything wasn't in double, she practically ran out of the room, Sunstreaker in tow. The first thing she wanted to do was see Diesel. She has been away from him for far too long. Diesel was out in the hanger bay getting some work done with some soldiers. 

"Nichole!" He yelled when he saw her walking towards him. He got down on a knew and she hugged his digit. 

"How are you feeling?" He asked her, looking over her stitches. She gave him a thumb up, knowing it would be hard to speak. 

"Still numb?" Another nod was sent his way. He couldn't help but let out a small chuckle, yeaning him a glare from her. 

A few Autobots and soldiers noticed she was out and about as well, specifically Lennox, Epps, and Optimus and Sideswipe. They had only gone to see her a few times, not that she would remember, she was sleeping most of the time they came to visit. 

"Your looking better." Lennox said the truth, not knowing what to really say. She avoided his gaze and nodded in thanks. 

"Ratchet says the surgery went very well." Optimus bellowed from above. She looked up at the tall leader, again avoiding the use of words. 

"Are your vocal cords broken?" Sideswipe snapped. She knew why he did, she wasn't speaking back to an officer. He obviously has yet to hear her speak. 

"Her voice isn't broken; her face is still numb and its hard for her to speak, dumbaft." Sunstreaker jabbed. Sideswipes angered face loosened but didn't bother to apologize. 

"What's gotten into you?" Sunstreaker asked his twin. "Nothing." With that Sideswipe walked away. The others stayed to chat with Nichole, even though she wouldn't speak back. 

"She needs to go back to bed." Ratchet's strict voice yelled over everyone's. Nichole, Diesel and Sunstreaker had been walking around and talking for a few hours now. Nichole not bothering to really be in the conversation. It was more Diesel and Sunstreaker doing the talking and it was mainly about the Decepticon activity. Nichole gave Ratchet one of her dagger glares. It didn't phase him a bit. 

"Get her to bed Sunstreaker. I said a walk but not for to long. She still needs her rest." He ordered Sunstreaker. 

"You heard him." Sunstreaker looked at Nichole. Her arms were crossed, and her face contorted in anger, well only half her face and her eyes. The numbed part stayed neutral. 

"Nichole, you're still recovering. Go to bed." Diesel ordered. She huffed, and her arms went to her side and she slouched forward. Sunstreaker grabbed her hand and began to pull her back to her barracks room.


	11. Shatter Me

It has now been well over a month and Nichole was back to normal. She could speak again, she could do normal things again and her stitches had been taken out, but the scar would still remain and seemed even deeper than before. Everything seemed to be going well. Sunstreaker was still on the clingy side, but Nichole had finally taken care of that and he backed off a little, not much, but a little. Diesel started working more with the Autobots and helping with patrols and whatnot. Nichole wasn't fond of it, she had yet to forgive the Autobots and Diesel knew it. He understood why she was mad about it, but he wanted to feel useful and Ratchet did save his life. He did owe them that, whether Nichole like it or not. Today she was with Diesel while Sunstreaker was on patrol. At the moment they were walking into the bay from hanging outside. 

Optimus took long strides over to Nichole and Diesel, Lennox and General Morshower at his side. Diesel took note of them coming before Nichole did. When she did, her eyes went dark, her eyes glancing over General Morshower. 

"Nichole, Diesel, its time we sit down and had a nice chat." Morshower spoke, eyes staying on Nichole. 

"No." Nichole knew what they wanted to talk about and she was not going to let that happen. They weren't very surprised by her response. Lennox sent a glare to her. Diesel tapped her with is foot. She gave a low grunt before speaking again. 

"I'm sorry. No, sir." She said sarcastically adding a smirk at the end. 

"Its not up for debate, Sargent. Its time we got answers about the ambush. You two were the only two to make it out alive." Morshower raised his voice as he spoke to her. He was not going to let her push him around. 

She stood up straighter at the call of her rank. Her hands instantly went behind her in parade rest. "Yes, Sir." She said through clenched teeth. 

Lennox raised an eyebrow at her. Then leaned closer to Morshower and whispered, "If I would have known using her rank would get her to listen, I would of done that months ago." 

"I learned it from her old superiors." They both gave a quiet chuckle, Nichole glaring. 

"Come Let's chat." Morshower ordered, extending his hand pointing towards the conference room. 

Nichole trudged her way after them. Diesel following next to Optimus, the humans leading the way. They take seats in the conference room. For the first time, Nichole sat, her head down, not looking at anything. The two Autobots standing near. 

"Alright, Sargent. Talk." Morshower ordered. Nichole looked up at Diesel, unsure of what to do for once. She didn't want to talk about the ambush. It was a memory she wanted to forget. She hasn't even talked to Diesel about it. Neither of them wanted too.

"We were on a convoy, bringing supplies to the front. Our superiors wanted Nichole and some other troops at the front as well, they needed help. But we never made it there." Diesel started. Morshower and Lennox were both taking notes. Nichole kept her head down and let Diesel continue. 

"It was around 0700 in the morning when the first airstrike hit. None of us were prepared. There hadn't been an airstrike for about 3 years. I wanted to transform and help, but Nichole was the only one that knew who I was, so it would have been dangerous for me too. More airstrikes started coming from the East. Hitting truck after truck. I took controls from Nichole. My main concern was to keep her safe. She wanted to stay, she wanted to help the others. She may seem cold and distant, but that was her team and she needed to help them too. She was never one to run from a fight. She took back the controls from me and fought me, making me go back. When we did it was getting worse." He stopped and took a breath. 

"The Taliban were driving in, guns a blazing. Fire started to spread from trucks that had blown to the woods nearby. Nichole ended up leaving my cab to find others and get them to safety. I kept her covered as much as I could. By this point it didn't matter if anyone saw who I really was. We were getting over run. I lost her at some point. I tried to find her without causing more damage. Bombs were still going off. Humans were being thrown left and right. The time we were separated felt like hours. I tried to save as many as I could, but in the end, my efforts failed. Taliban soldiers were shooting at anything that moved." He stopped and looked down at Nichole. She sat there, arms crossed, looking away from them all. 

Without turning she spoke, "A grenade was thrown at me and a group I was about to save. We didn't realize it tell it was too late. I just out of range and just missed the blast, though still getting torn up from shrapnel and covered in their blood. None of them survived. That's when something else showed up. Diesel always told me about them, from his stories." She stopped not wanting to continue.

"What showed up, Sgt." Lennox tried to be soothing with his words.

Her body shook for a moment. "A Decepticon." She looked at them, her dead eyes telling the truth.

"They said there weren't any there." 

"Yeah well they lied to you. It was only one. I had finished off some Taliban when it came after me. It was yelling at me to die. I was able to dodge attack after attack. I tried to get a shot in when I had an opening. I had to use my pistol at that point. Then I was surrounded, by Taliban and this con." She stopped again, unsure if she wanted to continue. 

"What happened next, Sgt." Morshower asked, his voice so silent, it seemed non existent. 

She took a deep breath and eyes scanned the table. 

"It said something to me. Something that haunts my nightmares. I will never forget his raspy thin voice. 'Times running out, human. Darkness is coming, you are just the beginning.'" 

She stopped and shook, from her shoulders down her spine. Her hands grasping her hair, pulling it. Tears on the brink, she tried to hold on. Everyone stayed silent, taking in her words. No one understood what the cons words meant.

"I watched more of my men die. They just kept shooting even after the bodies stopped moving. There was nothing I could do anymore. I was surrounded, and guns were pointed at me. The minute I dropped my gun, I felt my face begin to burn. I connected with the ground in such force I almost blacked out. I couldn't move, I could barely breath. I rolled over and attempted to look at the con. I could see blood on his sword, it was my blood. Then Diesel finally found me. I saw his eyes turn red when he saw me on the ground. The Taliban men started shooting at him, failing quickly. Then him and the con fought. I had never seen him fight until now. I couldn't watch very well as my eyesight had begun to blur. But I watched him fall. I watched the Taliban retreat. The con laughed. He laughed at me and at Diesel. It was evil and the scariest thing I had ever heard. Then he flew off. I tried to crawl to Diesel. He was the only thing on my mind. He had to survive. He just had to. I never heard the Helios land. I never heard them yelling to me. My mind was so focused on Diesel. Then they started dragging me away. I remember screaming his name. Screaming to be let go. The last thing I saw before blacking out, were his eyes closing." 

Her story was finished. Now they knew everything she knew. She couldn't look at them. She was finally able to let it all out. Something she never thought she would ever do. It hurt to let it out. It felt like she was getting her flesh cut all over again. She sat there frozen, unsure what to do next. She didn't trust any of these men, but she told them all about the battle. She told them her feelings. She felt broken. She felt she was being beaten down again. Unknowing her hand was tracing down the freshly healed skin. Something that will always be there. Something that will always be a reminder of all that was lost. 

"Can I go now." Her voice barely above a whisper. 

"I have one more question." Optimus spoke. He took her silence as a sign to continue. 

"Do you remember what the con looked like?" he asked. The room went silent again. 

"Not entirely. I just remember his bright red eyes, his pointy dagger like teeth formed into a sinister grin." She stated. 

"I believe it was Megatron." Diesel said. 

"I haven't seen him in eons, so I'm not sure what he looks like now, but it sounded like him." The others gave a nod, making more sense to them now. What didn't make sense was why he was working with humans, and why did he specifically attack Nichole's group. 

"Can I go now?" She asked again, her voice raised. She looked at Lennox, waiting for an answer. He could see the anger, hurt and frustration in her eyes. He could see the brokenness showing through this time. It wasn't the first time he felt guilting for making her speak. He gave her a nod and she was out the door, Diesel following quickly. 

"What do we do with this information?" Lennox asked, staring down at his notes. Morshower looked at Lennox, thinking before he spoke. 

"We need to figure out what this Darkness thing is and fast. Its been over four months since that attack. Who knows when something could happen now, if it has not already happened." He spoke gaining a nod from Lennox. 

"Optimus do you know anything about this or an idea." Lennox asked the just as confused leader. 

"I do not know. I will have to talk with my Autobots to see if they know anything. We must be prepared for anything." The two humans nodded in agreement. There was nothing they could do at the time. They didn't know what to do. Nichole gave them vital information, but it didn't bring anything to a conclusion. Only that the cons were indeed working with the Taliban. 

"We need to put the military on high alert. If Megatron didn't hesitate to gun down one unit over in Afghan, he won't hesitate to do it again. Keep track on all units out there. Where they go, what they are doing, everything. I don't want to lose anymore men." Morshower ordered and got up and left the room. Lennox and Optimus following not to long after.

"What happened?" Sunstreaker asked the minute she walked out the door in his holoform. Her hand hadn't even left the handle and he was in her face. 

"Go away." She growled, pushing past him. 

He gave a low snarl before grabbing her arm. "Don't growl at me. Tell me what happened." 

"Excuse me. I don't have to tell you shit. You don't own me." She snapped, pulling her arm away and continuing to walk away. He huffs out his nose and ran in front of her to stop her. 

"No, I don't, but you should be able to tell me. I'm here for you. You know this." His face softened as he spoke to her. Hoping to get through to her. He looked for something in her eyes. For something to tell him she was listening. Her eyes weren't saying anything. They looked cold and distant. Dark and unwelcoming. There wasn't any sign of life. He didn't know what to do but let her go. He moved to the side, so she could pass. She didn't hesitate to start moving. All he could do was watch her go, confused on what happened and what he should do. 

"Is she okay?" Sunstreaker asked Diesel after going back into his bipedal mode. 

"No, she is not." Diesel said truthfully. Though not saying how bad she really is. 

"What happened in there?" He felt the need to know, so he could find a way to help Nichole. 

"She had to relive a terrible day. The day that caused her to come here." 

Sunstreaker gasps and looks away for a moment. Part of him wanted to know what happened while she was overseas, but the other part knew better than to ask. She would tell him when she was ready. 

"Is there anything I can do?" 

"Let her come to you. I know you don't like that idea, but she needs her space. We never talked about that battle. We were hoping to never have to talk about it. She's needs to let her mind calm down first, before she talks to anyone." Diesel warned. Sunstreaker didn't like the idea at all, but he understood or at least tried too. Humans are so fragile, but this girl refused to break. He just didn't know what is really going on in her head. 

She stormed her way to her room, not looking back. She could care less for anyone at this point. She only wants to be alone. Alone to talk herself into holding it all together. Even though she knows the minute she walks in, she's going to break down. She didn't realize she was shaking until she tried to unlock her door. It was difficult, and she had to hold her hand in place. 

"C'mon you piece of shit. Open!" She silently yelled at the door. Finally, she got In and immediately slammed the door behind her, locking with a simple click. She leaned back against the door, sliding down tell her butt hit the floor. Her knees came up to her chest without any thought and her arms wrapped around. Stuffing her head into her knees, silent tears began to fall. She can't let anyone see her falter. She's cold, tough, heartless. She has no emotion. She's not allowed to have any. This is the first time she's broke and let the tears fall. Everything she held inside, from years ago to now, she finally let go. 

No one knows how long she locked herself in her room. She doesn't even know herself. She hadn't realized as she woke up from crying herself to sleep. She slowly pushed herself up off the door, wobbling a bit. Once steady, she staggered to the bathroom to wash her tear stained face. She splashed her face with water then brought her hands down on either side of the sink. Her hair draped over her face, messy and tangled. Her eyes peered through the strands and she stared at herself in the mirror. Her breath was uneven and heartrate fast. Before she could even think, glass shattered around her. Blood dripped around the sink as she brought her fist down near her chest. More tears began to slip, her breathing became harder. 

"Get it together James." She muttered to herself. 

A loud pounding on the door seemed to bring her out of her thoughts, but she didn't move. She let them keep knocking, to the point where it sounded like the door was going to fall down. She could hear her name being called and she recognized the voice. He sounded scared and worried. His scream being muffled though the door that she refused to open. She looked at herself again, her eyes seemed to be darker, the gray almost black and bloodshot. She saw a number of herself in the shattered glass that still clung. A scowl formed on her face as she punched the mirror again, unable to handle looking at herself. His voice rang through her room, screaming at her to open the door. After not answering again, she heard definite kicks to the door. 

One...two...three and the door splintered and fell to the floor. "Nichole!" He ran in, stopping at looking at her.

"Nichole." Sunstreaker seemed to cry. He walked carefully to her grabbing a towel off the rack. He slowly reached for her torn and cut hand. She stared at the floor, not looking at him. His eyes couldn't leave her face as he wrapped her hand in the towel, attempting to stop the bleeding. Once wrapped he took a free hand and pushed her hair behind her ear. Then lightly put two fingers under her chin, making her look up at him. Tears threatened to leak from his cerulean blue eyes as he stared at her bloodshot eyes and her quivering lip. Her eyes tried not to focus on his, trying hard to avoid his gaze. 

"Please look at me. Please sweetspark." He whispered to her, his voice calm and soothing. Her eyes popped up at the nickname, unsure she if she deserved it. 

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but please let me be here to comfort you." He squeezed his eyes shut to hold back the tears. He couldn't stand to see his femme so broken. He wanted to pull her into him and hold her as long as possible, but he wasn't sure if she would let him. 

"I'm broken, Sunstreaker." She mumbled. He thought he didn't hear her right. This would be the second time she confessed something to him. She didn't know why, nor cared, but she felt she could tell him anything. She hated it, but it didn't stop her. 

"I'm not someone you should be with. I have a past I will drag with me everywhere. I have no emotions. I don't even know how to handle emotions. I have uncontrollable rage. All I know what to do is kill. Kill without mercy. Kill with no remorse." He fell to the floor next to her. He didn't care if she wouldn't like it, he pulled her close to him. He moved her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck. Her hands clutched his t-shirt. 

"I'm not normal, Sunstreaker. I will never be able to give you anything normal." He couldn't help but let out a chuckle. She gave him a nasty glare. 

"No no. I'm not laughing at you. You say you could never give me a normal relationship. But it wouldn't be normal anyway. Your human and I'm cybertronian. And you say you're a killer, well so am I. I had to kill all my life. I know what it feels to have a horrible past. I know how it is to not understand emotions. We have more in common than you think." He gave her a comforting smile, looking into her eyes. Those stone like gray eyes staring into his. He could see the flecks of blue trying to find a way out. If only she would let them. 

He looked back down at her hand, almost forgetting about her injury. 

"We need to take you to Ratchet." He insisted. 

"No, I'm fine. I can stitch it myself." she pulled away from him, gripping her hand. 

"Nichole don't do this. Please let me take care of you. Let Ratchet help. We aren't the bad guys." He gripped her shoulders, stopping her from moving back any further. 

"I don't need help. I can take care of my injuries." She growled. Anger raising in her voice. 

"I'm not going to let you do this on your own. I am going to help, whether you like it or not." He growled back. She stood up and he followed. 

"You can't force me to do anything." She turned and walked out of the bathroom. He followed in suit. 

"No, but I can get Diesel to make you."

She stopped instantly, knowing what he was going after. 

"Diesel knows I can handle small injuries like this." 

"This is not small. You have dangerously large lacerations in your hand. They need medical attention immediately." She looked down at her hand, the white towel covering it, was now red with blood. She knew he was right, but she didn't want to appease him. Though if she lets it go on any longer, she might pass out from blood loss. Her shoulders fell forward as she let out a sigh. 

"Fine." Is all she said and turned go out the door without waiting for Sunstreaker to catch up. 

"Nichole!" Diesel yelled in excitement upon seeing the Marine walking out of the room. Seeing her discomfort in her face, he looked down and noticed the bloodied towel. 

"What happened in there?" He said though clenched teeth. 

"I need a new mirror." She growled up at him. Sunstreaker finally caught up to her and noticed Diesels eyes attack him. 

"She punched the mirror twice and needs stitches." 

Diesel groaned at the news, knowing she's done this before. "You got to stop doing that." He pointed out to her. 

"Yeah yea I know." She would have waved a hand to shoo him off, but was to be occupied, holding the towel on the other one. Diesel followed behind them as they all made their way to the medical bay. Along the way, Sunstreaker went back into his bipedal mode and picked Nichole up and proceeded to carry her the rest of the way to the med bay. 

"What the frag happened to you?" Ratchet all but yelled as the three entered the med bay. He noticed Nichole's hand immediately. 

"Someone decided to punch a mirror...twice." Diesel stated sending a glare to Nichole. She gave a guilty smile, wishing she could run back to her room. 

"Well don't just stand there, bring her over." Ratchet ordered. Sunstreaker did as told and set her on the human berth. Ratchet went into his holoform and began to unwrap her hand. It looked worse than it probably was. Her whole hand was covered in blood. Blood was still spilling out of two distinguished cuts, one on the back of her hand and one cutting across her fingers to her knuckles. She never winced or cried about the pain Ratchet was putting her through. He gently began to clean the blood from her hand, using alcohol to clean the wounds. Her fingers had small cuts along the outside of them. There was another large cut along her thumb tendons, though luckily it had stopped bleeding. 

Ratchet took his time perfecting the stitches being placed along Nichole's hand. The process took over two hours. From the time he first started cleaning her hand to when he finished wrapping a bandage around it. 

"Now you're not allowed to do any thing with that hand tell the stitches heal. Come back to me every morning for rebadging. Got it?" Ratchet said while washing up his hands. 

"Yes, Sir." She said in a grumpy tone. 

"Good now get out of my medical bay." He ordered with a smile. She quickly left the room to find Diesel and Sunstreaker waiting for her outside. 

"All stitched up?" Diesel asked. She showed him her wrapped up hand and he couldn't help but laugh. 

"Its not funny." She growled. 

"Yes it is. You don't know when to quit do you?" All she did was grunt back at him and started walking away. 

"You got to stop hurting yourself." He continued. 

Again, she ignored him. She knows he's right, just doesn't want to admit it.


	12. Quality time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Warning sexual innuendos*

"What do you mean you have to leave?" Sideswipe questioned his twin. 

"It's not like I'm leaving for good. I just have to go check on something." Sunstreaker answered calmly. 

"And you can't tell me...Your brother?" 

"You don't have to know everything that I do." He scoffed walking out of their room down the hall. 

"Why can't I go with you?" 

"Go where?" The dead voice of the young women rang out in the hall. 

"Sunny is leaving us for some reason he won't tell me." Sideswipe said annoyed. Sunstreaker scoffed at the nickname and rolled his eyes. 

"I have to take care of something." He said looking down at Nichole. 

"Like what?" She asked. He gave a low sigh. 

"Like I need to go now, or I won't be coming back at all." He dragged out. Both Nichole and Sideswipe took a step back and looked at him in confusion. 

"What aren't you telling me?" Sideswipe voice low and demanding. 

"Its nothing. Don't worry about it." He pushed past his brother and stepped over Nichole. Before either could say anything, Sunstreaker transformed and burned rubber leaving the base. 

"What was that about?" Nichole asked looking up at Sideswipe. Sideswipe looked down at her with just as confused look as hers. 

"I have no idea and I don't like it. He's blocking me from the bond. So, I have absolutely no idea what's going on." He explained. 

"Well what do we do? Wait for him to come back?" 

"That's about all we can do. What do you and Sunny usually do?" His voice sounded annoyed and Nichole could sense a hint of jealousy. She chose to ignore it. 

"Lately its just been hanging around. I can't do much with my hand and face." 

"Want to go watch a movie?" He tried to give her a smile, though it came out forced. 

"You don't have to hang out with me just because Sunstreaker is gone." She crossed her arms over her chest. 

"I know, but if your going to be my twins sparkmate, I should probably learn to like you." 

She couldn't stop the chuckle that came from her throat. "one I'm not your twins sparkmate and two I'm not stealing him from you." 

"But you will be eventually. He's more in love with you than you know. Us cybertronians are different from humans in that way. We know from the moment we see the one, that that person will be our forever. He knew from the moment he met you that he was in love with you. He tried so hard to suppress it, but I knew he couldn't. You're his and he's yours." Sideswipe let out. Nichole wasn't sure how to take the information in. 

"I don't even know what love is." She said quietly. 

"I know, Sunny knows too. That's why he won't tell you he loves you. He will wait tell your ready." Silence fell among them as they walked to the rec room. So many different things were running through her head, still trying to understand that Sunstreaker loved her. A feeling came to her stomach and her chest began to ache. Something she had began to feel since she started being with Sunstreaker more. It bothered her that she didn't know what it was. The only thing she could do was wait to figure out what it was. 

They walked into the rec room in silence. Sideswipe sat on the large couch and brought Nichole up to sit next to him. 

"What do you want to watch?" He asked. looking down at her. She sat cross legged next to him. 

"Anything but romance." She replied. Now it was Sideswipes turn to let out a chuckle. 

"Maybe it would teach you a thing or two." She stared up at him in disgust. 

"Have you done anything along the lines of a relationship?" He couldn't stop himself from asking. 

"You act like I'm a nun or something." 

"Well you don't seem to care about anything like that...Are you a virgin?" He said the last part in a whisper. She rolled her eyes at him but answered anyway. 

"No, I'm not. Just because I don't do relationships doesn't mean I don't get any." She defended and tried to keep the smirk at bay. 

"Oh good. Sunny like experienced femme." He blurted. The movie had begun to play, but it didn't stop Nichole from hearing what he said. 

"Seriously?" 

"What? I'm serious. I'm just warning you." 

"This is not how I thought our bonding session would go." They both broke into a fit of laughs. Something Nichole didn't do often with people. 

"I think its working." Sideswipe said trying to stop laughing. Now they weren't even paying attention to the movie. 

"I don't plan on sleeping with Sunstreaker anytime soon." 

"do you do that with all your boyfriends?" 

"I don't usually have boyfriends. I had 'friends with benefits' you could say. If I wanted it, I knew where to get it. No strings attached." 

"No wonder you don't know anything about love." She let out a laugh, understanding he is joking. 

"What about Sunstreaker? Has he had past girlfriends?" she let her curious side get the best of her. She didn't notice the look Sideswipe was giving her before he spoke. 

"Why you jealous?" 

a fake laugh left her lips. "HA, me jealous. I could care less. I'm just curious." She admitted. 

"We've had our fair share of femmes." 

"Did you guys do threesomes together?" A serious tone in her words. 

Sideswipes cheeks began to turn a light shade of red. 

"Oh my god. You have. I don't care if you did or not. Your twins and from what I've heard, your very close. I'm not judging." She tried to help him feel less embarrassed. For some reason she cared. It was probably because she cared for Sunstreaker. Sideswipe was part of the package and she was going to have to deal with it, not that she knew it yet. He wasn't ready to let her in on that part. The part where Him and his twin usually share partners. 

They spent the rest of the day together. With Sunstreaker who knows where and Diesel was working with other Autobots. Nichole and Sideswipe got to learn more about each other. All those hateful feelings towards her in the beginning, started to fade. She had become more open and less heartless. It was something that she never thought would happen. She had suppressed everything inside, keeping to herself, pushing people away. Now she was letting Sideswipe know some more details about her life. Not without keeping the important ones out. There was still trust missing and she wasn't ready to let out her entire life story. Sideswipe was even able to share how he felt towards her and how he thought she was taking Sunstreaker away from him. It was a bigger deal to him than she thought. 

"I'm sorry, Sideswipe." She mumbled under her breath. He looked down at her in surprise. Never had he ever thought such a cold soul would apologize to him. 

"What did you say?" She brought her knees up to her chest. 

"I said I'm sorry. I don't want you to thing I'm taking him away. And honestly there are times when I feel like he spends to much time with me." Her arms wrapped around her knees and she looked forward. He looked down at her, feeling a little guilty. 

"I know he can be a lot sometimes. But he gets possessive of what is his. He can be way overprotective. But that's how he shows he cares. I'm surprised he isn't constantly holding you or touching you. I've seen how he can be with femme that are his. He doesn't really know how to be anything but. We never really knew love growing up. We were forced to kill to survive or die trying."

"I know a little of what that's like. My childhood wasn't all that great either. It wasn't until I escaped from hell that I was able to do something better. Even then stealing isn't all that much better. When I was forced with the choice of jail or military. I chose military. I figured it would make me a better person. Honestly all it did was make me more cold and heartless. I have no idea what its like to be loved. So I understand where you two are coming from." She couldn't help herself to explain. Sideswipe finally realized something. It hit him like a ton of bricks. They were more alike than meets the eye. There is so much damage to her than what's on the surface. The same kind of damage him and his brother hide from the world. He never wanted to believe Optimus's words. He didn't want to believe he had something in common with this fleshy. He tired to fight the truth, but with the truth sitting right in front of him, he had to believe it. 

Sideswipe walked Nichole to her berth room. Diesel and Sunstreaker had yet to come back. 

"When do you think Sunstreaker will be back?" She asked as they stood in front of her door. Sideswipe looked back down the hall towards the hanger then back down to Nichole. 

"I have no idea. When is Diesel supposed to be back?" 

She shrugged. "Not sure. Not that I'm worried. I at least know where he is." Tainting the last few words. Clearly upset not knowing where Sunstreaker is. Though Sideswipe was not happy about it either. 

"Are you alright sleeping by yourself?" She raised an eyebrow to him. He stepped back, hands up in defense. 

"I know your either with Diesel in his cab or with Sunstreaker. I didn't mean anything by it. I mean like...um...I'm not used to sleeping alone either..." He began to stutter, amusing Nichole. 

"Are you asking me to sleep with you?" She said with a smirk, liking the way he was getting nervous. 

"Just sleep, nothing more." He quickly said. A chuckle escaped her lips. "It won't be the same, but I guess I could join you."

He kneeled down to let Nichole jump on his servo. He couldn't stop the smile that formed on his face as he heads down a different hallway to the room he shared with his twin. The door slid open for them to go through. The darkness of the room welcomed them, but soon vanished as the lights sprung on. He walked over to his side of the room and set Nichole on the nightstand in-between both of their berths. Then Sideswipe turned to walk away. 

"Where are you going?" She questions. 

"Just grabbing some Energon before bed. I'll be right back." She nodded at his answer and watched him leave. She looked around the room, something she's done every time she's come into this room. Sideswipes side was always messy and unorganized, while Sunstreaker's side was well organized and the walls littered with beautiful paintings. There was a new one she hadn't noticed before. Sunstreaker must of have done it recently. 

The portrait painting showed a female. She was smiling, her white teeth shining bright. Her eyes were squinting a little from the cheeky smile, but you could see her stone-gray eyes clear as day. Though a few specks of ocean blue tainted around her irises. Her nose was covered in small freckles, though just light enough that you wouldn't see them by merely gazing at the painting. Her long deep brown hair trailed down her back, but a few stray strands hung in front of her face. Then starting under her right eye, right next to her nose, the scar begins. It is detailed right down to the small holes the stiches made from holding the skin together. It cut down at an angle on her cheek to her back of her jaw, then jagging down her neck. Stopping right above her collar bone. It was a deep red in the center, slowly lightening up as the broken skin met with the original. 

Nichole couldn't take her eyes off the portrait of her. It was like anything she has ever seen. The background showed the range Sunstreaker took her on their first date. There are no words to describe how beautiful it is. 

"He painted that right after you two got back. He was the happiest I had ever seen him. He couldn't put the brush down tell he had it perfect." Nichole jumped a little after hearing Sideswipes voice behind her, but quickly regained her posture. 

"Its beautiful. I never thought of myself as beautiful. Especially after my last battle. How was he able to make me look like this?" She questioned looking over at Sideswipe. 

"Sunny has a way with art. Always has. I have no idea how he does it. Don't put yourself down, you are beautiful. The scar is intimidating for sure, but it adds to the beauty." He couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth. His face began to blush after realizing what he just said. Not wanting to embarrass him anymore. 

"Let's go to bed. Hopefully Sunstreaker will be back in the morning." He nodded and laid down on the berth. Not waiting to be told or even asking, Nichole climbed up on his chest and laid over his spark, surprising him. It took him a moment to gain composer and lightly lay his servo over her. 

"Goodnight, Nichole." 

"Goodnight, Sideswipe."

It was early in the morning when Sunstreaker showed back up. The room was dark, sun hasn't even rose up into the sky yet. The first thing that caught his eye, was the sleeping femme laying still on his twin's chest. Part of him wanted to be happy that they were together and must have had a good day together for her to being on his chest, but the other half wanted to snatch her away and scream at his brother for holding her. He decided to clean himself up first, before going into recharge for a little while. His trip had gotten him covered in dirt and grime. He also smelled and if his brother were to get a whiff, he would know exactly where he was. After a long shower he sat down on his berth, looking at the sleeping forms. The smaller one soon began to stir. She was feeling eyes on her, her sixth sense kicking in. Her eyes fluttered open and adjust to the lack of light. It didn't hide the bright energon blue glow of the optics staring down at her.  
"Sunstreaker?" She wondered if it was real or a trick of the light. "Hi Nichole." His husky voice said as silently as he could. She didn't want to seem too excited but ended up doing it anyway. She quickly jumped up and off Sideswipe, running across the nightstand over to him. He felt a smile creep on his face as he watches her run to him. She slowed to a walk as soon as she was close. She reached out her hand and placed it on his faceplate. This was something she never really did up until now. It was either she was in his servo or he was in holoform when they touched. Holding hands was as far as it ever got. Every now and then he would kiss her hand, but it never went any further. "How was your trip?" She wondered caressing his cheek. "It was good." "I see you made it back in one piece." He let out a quiet chuckle. "Yeah I did. I had too. I wouldn't look good if I was missing pieces." Now it was her turn to chuckle. "You should probably rest. We can talk later." She suggested. With a nod, he closed his optics. Then they snapped open as he felt a pair of lips pressing onto his cheek, surprising him. She turned away before he could say anything and laid down beside him, her back to him.  
Though the kiss was only on the cheek, it meant the world to him. It was a step closer together and he couldn't be happier. Though, the days events still wrapped in his mind spread a fountain of guilt over him. He is in far to deep now and can't back out. As much as he wants too, he knows he can't. More people would die if he did and he can't let anyone else get hurt. He already knows what the outcome will be and it won't be good. There is nothing he can do anymore. Sunstreaker keeps his gaze on the Marine laying next to him. Far to wound up now to fall into recharge. He tried hard to push what has happened out of his mind, but so far, he is unsuccessful. "I hope you forgive me one day." He whispers, barely audible. Not only was it for Nichole, but for Sideswipe as well. He hopes they will both be able too.  
The next morning Sideswipe woke up with a start. He fumbled around his berth, searching for something. This caused him to fall off the bed and wake the other two in the room with a start. "Sides? You okay?" Sunstreaker asked with his optics still closed. Nichole was now sitting up, rubbing her eyes before she looked over at the prime red twin. "Nichole? Where is...Oh" He looked up from the floor and noticed her waving at him from Sunstreaker's berth. Trying not to show the disappointment in his tone. The laugh Nichole let ring out put a smile on both of their faces. "Sorry Sideswipe." Another apology, Sideswipe wasn't sure if he was still sleeping or not. Sunstreaker sat up while Sideswipe sat down on his berth. "So where did you go?" Sideswipe jumped the gun, getting straight to the point. "I told you. Its none of your business." Sunstreaker barked, not even glancing at his brother. Sideswipe let out a growl, he stood, ready to retaliate. "Knock it off. We don't need to fight so damn early in the fuckin morning." Nichole shouted. Her voice ricocheting off the walls of the twins berthroom. "Fine." Grumbled Sideswipe as he got up to leave the room. He stormed out of the room, not looking back. "I'm not going to push you to tell us, but I do think we have a right to know. Though, I know I have yet to tell you everything, so I understand. Just please tell us when your ready." Nichole stated to Sunstreaker, whose gaze was still focused on where his brother was just standing. Guilt growing inside yet again. "I will." He promised. It may not be today or tomorrow, but he would tell them eventually.  
Nichole stared up at him, wondering what he was thinking about. Then she watched as his optics seemed to blur, become almost distant. She looked at him with confusion, until he looked at her with a serious face. "We need to head to the hanger." With a serious tone, he picked up Nichole and they went out to the hanger. They seemed to be one of the last ones to enter the hanger, as everyone had gathered around. Nichole noticed Diesel across the way and had Sunstreaker put her down, so she could go see him. He did so reluctantly. She pushed her way through the soldiers that got in her way. Not caring one bit if they fell over or not. "Diesel!" She yelled, trying to get the Mech's attention. He snapped his helm towards her, hearing her right away. As she got closer he picked her up and put her on his shoulder.  
"What's going on?" She murmured into his audio receptor. "Shit is about to go down." He said with a smirk. "What?" She said sarcastically, her voice going up an octave. Diesel covered his mouth trying not to laugh. "Nah I don't know. Optimus just called us all in here." he shrugged, Nichole almost falling off. "Asshole." She complained. The room was full of chatter, but the moment Optimus Prime and Major Lennox walked out into the bay, everything went silent. You could hear a pin drop from how silent it got. "I'm sure you are all wondering why I called you all in here." Optimus's deep baritone voice echoed throughout the bay. "Something very important has come to my attention and I'm afraid it can not be ignored." He paused for a moment, like he was nervous to say what's next. "There is a great evil that is threatening Earth and Megatron is apart of it. We need to stop it before it comes and to do that.." He took a deep breath. "a few of us will have to go back to Cybertron." There was a gasp from everyone in the room. Nichole and Diesel were apart of them.  
"What kind of evil?" Sideswipe asked, his hand raised, but talked anyway. "That is a good question, Sideswipe. I do not know of it exactly. I only know it by the wisdom of the primes and it begins with Cybertron. Something I never believed that would happen. I do not want to say to much, until needed. We must stop it before it gets to Earth." Optimus answered scrunching his fist together. "I have already chosen who will be going with, for I need few but experience." Everyone held their breath waiting for who he had chosen. "Jazz...Ironhide...Ratchet...and Diesel. Those four will be accompany me to Cybertron." He stated.  
Diesel tensed up at the mention of his name. He would be leaving Nichole all alone, was he ready to do that. Nichole had grabbed onto his neck cables, holding them tight enough to stop circulation. Once she heard him grunt, she released. Some of the bots looked very disappointed that they were not chosen to go to Cybertron. They all missed their home dearly. "The four I just called, please come with me, we will discuss the plan of departure." With that, Optimus turned and walked away, the first three followed. Diesel started walking with but was stopped by Lennox. "She stays here." He ordered. Nichole gave a low growl, but Lennox stood his ground. Both staring, seeing who could hold out the longest. She continued to sneer at him, he was determined not to break. Before either could find out the winner, Nichole was plucked off Diesels shoulder and set on the ground. "What gives?" She yelled up to her partner. "You know what its like to have a top-secret mission." Is all he said, and he left to meet with the others. The scowl stayed on her face tell he was out of view.  
It wasn't until a week later then the five were getting ready for departure. Nichole helped to make sure they were all mechanically sound before they left. She was able to do much more after getting the stiches removed from her hand. She spent the whole week with Diesel, much to Sunstreaker's displeasure. She kept telling him, he would get her all to himself after Diesel left. So, he can go a week without her. He was not to happy to hear that. Diesel made sure to threaten Sunstreaker before he left, to watch over her and take care of her. If he didn't, he would with he never been sparked. The five bots had just finished loading up the ship and were standing by. "I do not know how long we will be gone, but we will not return until our mission is complete. While we are away, Bumblebee with be in charge, under watch of Major Lennox." He paused to wait for all the groaning to be finished. "You listen to me now, Bitches." Bumblebee voiced through the radio. Nichole did her best to stifle her laugh while leaning against Diesels ped.  
"With that said, I expect the best out of all my Autobots. We may be gone, but if you need anything we are only a phone call away." As he said this, he looked straight at Nichole and she was looking up at Diesel. "Autobots...Roll out." Optimus bellowed. Diesel knelt down to say his last goodbye. "I can't believe I'm going to be without you again." Nichole sniffled, trying to keep the tears back. "Don't worry I'll be back sooner than you think." He said with a sad smile. "Please stay safe. I need my partner back in one piece." She held onto his digit he used to wipe away her tears that had begin to leak. "Don't worry. You'll have me back. You stay out of trouble, ya hear. I'll see ya when I get back." He pulled away from her slowly, backing up towards the ship. Nichole stood there watching him leave. She felt two hands snake around her waist and hold her close. Her first instinct was to elbow him in the gut but couldn't bring herself to do it. "He'll be back, don't worry. Prime won't let anything bad happen to him." Sunstreaker whispered into her ear. He held her as they watch the ship take off and continued to watch, tell the ship looked more like a star.


	13. Take the Lead

That night, Nichole couldn't sleep at all. She stayed awake, tossing and turning. She chose to sleep in her bed. She couldn't sleep with Sunstreaker. She needed some time to adjust to Diesel being gone again. She just wanted to be alone. She thought about everything her and Diesel had been through. From the time she met him to their last battle in Afghan. They were a perfect pair. They knew each other inside and out. They were unstoppable. If only she could go with him. Its going to be hell until he gets back. Then her mind switched to Sunstreaker. She realized she would have him for company and Sideswipe. This could be a good time to figure out what their relationship is. For her to figure out if she loved him or not. What was she thinking? She sure felt something for him, she just didn't know what. So that's why at two in the morning, she got up and ran to the twin's room. 

Sunstreaker awoke to pounding on his and Sideswipes door. "Go away!" He growled, turning over on his front. 

"Sunstreaker open this door right now!" He heard her muffled voice on the other side. He shot up right away to open it. She stumbled in as the door opened while she was leaning on it. 

"I thought you wanted to be alone." He proclaimed what she said earlier. 

"I know, and I did, but then I really started thinking and I couldn't sleep. And I just want to be with you and Sideswipe. Well mostly you." She said with a guilty grin. Sunstreaker couldn't keep the smirk that rolled onto his face after hearing those words. 

"Okay I'll let it slide." 

"Let what slide?" 

"You waking me up at two in the morning." He said with a cheeky grin. 

"Oh well thanks. I appreciate it." she said sarcastically. 

"Of course, no problem." He said with a small chuckle. He put his servo down on the ground for her to climb up on, then the two went back to his berth. It didn't take long for the two to fall asleep. Nichole fell asleep curled up in the crook of Sunstreaker's neck cables. 

The next morning was a rough one. Nichole had barely any sleep and was a complete mess. 

"Frag, what happened to you?" Sideswipe asked loud enough the whole base must have heard. 

"Good Morning to you too Sideswipe." She growled out to him before sitting up. Sunstreaker didn't take long to wake up after the first two. 

"What's the plan for today?" He asked stretching himself out. 

"I don't know about you two, but I need to talk to Lennox." She answered as she is using her fingers to comb out her long-tangled hair. 

"Why?" Both the twins asked at the same time. 

"I thought about really hard last night. I had been thinking about it for a while, but I've decided I'm going to try and get back in the military." 

"Why would you want to do that?" Sunstreaker snapped at her, picking her up and bringing her to his optic level. 

"Why not? Military is all I know. It is something I'm good at. I'm all healed up and I'm going to need something to do, besides work out and do random stuff around base. I need to keep my mind busy." 

"Well Sides and I can keep you busy." 

"You two aren't always going to be around." Both the twins put disappointed looks on their faces. Sunstreaker more upset between the two. Because he knew she was right. 

"Well if that's what you want...I won't stop you." Sunstreaker said with a sad voice. The look on his face is killing Nichole. The hurt and sadness. She wanted to make it stop, but this was something she needed to do. She leaned in closer to the handsome mech, her hands resting against his cheeks. 

"Thank you." She whispered, then gave him a small kiss and again surprising him. He didn't want her to stop. He wanted to really kiss her. It was about time. He set her on the floor and she looked up at him confused. Soon his holoform was standing in front of her, both forgetting that Sideswipe was in the room. He got as close to her as he could, wrapping his arms around her waist, his hands resting higher on her back to push her to him, and her arms naturally wrapping around his neck. As time slowed around them, the world began to blur, and it was only them. Nichole could feel his breath against her jaw. His lips just barely grazing against her cheek. Her patience running thin, she turned her head into him, their lips finally meeting. A shiver ran down both of their spines, making them both grip each other harder. They moved their lips in sync with each other, fitting perfectly together. Their eyes squeeze shut, getting lost in the moment.

A throat cleared and the two let go of each other immediately. Sunstreaker looked up at his brother and sent him a deadly glare. Making Sideswipe smirk happily. Nichole could only look at the ground, her cheeks turning a tomato red. Once Sunstreaker moved his eyes back to her, he took two fingers and made her look at him. 

"Don't be embarrassed. That was amazing." He whispered to her, this only seemed to make her cheeks redder, if that was possible. 

"Let's go talk to Lennox." Sunstreaker added going back into his bipedal mode. The three walked down the hallway. Everything seemed to be quiet. To quiet. Nichole felt an uncomfortable feeling down in the pit of her stomach. She went to reach for a pistol she did not carry anymore. Making her growl when she realized it wasn't there. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker seem to stand on edge as well. Sideswipe took point, checking the rooms and corners. Blasters at the ready. Just as they were about to make it to the hanger, Sideswipe checked the corner. There was a loud shout from someone around it, as Sideswipe pointed the blaster in the persons face. Nichole and Sunstreaker ran to see who it was. 

"What the hell, Sideswipe?" It was Mirage. 

"Where is everyone?" Sideswipe questioned, putting his blaster away. 

"Bumblebee came up with a new training idea. So, everyone is outside." Mirage explained. 

"Why did no one tell us?" Sunstreaker piped up. 

"Because you two have strict orders to protect Nichole. So, you don't have to participate in anything. Except for a patrol every now and then, Tell Prime gets back." 

"When was someone going to tell us that?" Sideswipe snapped. Nichole sent him a glare. 

"Oh, we thought you already knew. I mean its kind of obvious that you two are going to be with her. And the fact that you two are her guardians." Mirage looked back down at the data pad he was holding. 

"Well I should probably get back out there. Ya'll can come watch it you want." He added and began heading outside. 

"Lennox is probably out there, lets go." Sunstreaker pointed out. The three headed outside and found the large group of soldiers and Autobots huddled around what looked like an obstacle course. 

"Woah." Nichole said excitedly. She jumped in excitement as she watched soldiers run the course. There are two courses. Exactly the same except one is human size and the other is Autobot size. Right now, they are watching Jolt and Epps race against each other. Jumping up to bars and climbing. Walking across logs and hopping over fences. At the end was a rope that one had to climb up on and ring the bell. 

"Now that looks like fun." Sideswipes face brightened as he spoke. 

"That's just gonna ruin my paint." Sunstreaker whined. Nichole joined Sides in giving Sunstreaker a stupid look. 

"I want to try." Nichole stated. She found Lennox deep in the crowd, near the start of the course. Not waiting for the twins, she bolted towards Lennox. 

"I want to give it a go." She said quickly. 

"You do?" He said without looking at her. "You're not exactly dressed for it." He added. "I can change. Ratchet cleared me. Let me show you up." She taunted the major. He turned and looked at her, raising his eyebrow. "You want to race me?" She nodded in answer. "What's the catch?" She was waiting for him to say that. She smirks, knowing exactly what she wanted. "If I win, you help me get back into the military." He crossed his arms and he thinks about what she just said. "You want back in? Why couldn't we just talk about this in my office or something. You know you can't go back in. You were medically retired. There is no way they will let you back in." "That's why I need your help." He looked away, his hands moving to his hips. He looked back at her, biting his lip. "Fine, but if I win, you start helping to work on the Autobots. All of them." He added an evil grin. This was defiantly something she would not dare to lose. "You got a deal, sir." They shook hands, sealing the deal. "Now go get your gear on."  
This was the perfect thing to distract her mind. Something she desperately needed. It didn't take long for her to change. It had been at least 6 months since she last wear her uniform and it still fit like a glove. Her desert camie bottoms are almost white, faded by the sun. She wears a green skivvies shirt as well as skivvies shorts underneath her camies. She had to dig down in one of her military bags to find boot socks. Once found, she slipped them over her feet quickly, not wasting any time. She pulled her brown combat boots out from under her bed, lacing them up tight and tucking them in. Green boot bands hung at the top of the boots and she tucked the bottoms of her camies into them. Taking a look in the mirror quick and putting a hair in a military bun. She was finally ready.  
She paused for a moment before leaving the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror. The last time she was wearing camies, she was being shot at, she was trying to do everything she could to save everyone. She also didn't have a giant scar on her face. It made her look worse than before. Gave her an even nastier look. She thought about what Diesel would say about her right now. He would probably be proud, but at the same time telling her not to. Thinking of her partner brought a few tears to her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of her hand. Her cold dead gray eyes staring intently at herself. She will not let Diesel being gone, bring her down. She will go out to the obstacle course and she will win. "Let's do this." She said, looking over herself one more time, then strutted out of the room and to the hanger.  
"I didn't think you were going to show. Took you long enough." Lennox stood at the beginning of the course, arms crossed. Soldiers and Autobots stood down along the course, waiting impatiently for the two to race. "Well I had to make sure my hair looked good when I kick your ass." She said slyly, a smirk taking over the corner of her mouth. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe stood at the beginning. Sideswipe looked excited, while Sunstreaker looked very nervous. That was before they noticed her standing there. They didn't recognize her when she came out, she looked like a totally different person. If she wasn't intimidating before, she looked more so now. She stood taller, prouder. Not a hair was out of place in her bun, showing her scarred face. Her eyes seemed darker than before as she stared down the obstacle course. "Woah." The twins said together, not taking their eyes off the Marine.  
"Whose ready for this throwdown!" Bumblebee raved, causing the crowd around to cheer. "Get into your positions!" Bumblebee refereed. Lennox and Nichole got ready at the line. Nichole sent Lennox a dangerous smirk and he sent one back. The twins whooped and cheered for Nichole. She let out a giggle hearing her name being called. Her eyes caught Sunstreaker's and she sent him a wink, one he gladly returned. "On your mark...Get set...Go!" They were off. Both off to a great start. Determination written deep into their eyes. The low jump was nothing for them. The eight foot bar was a synch as well. Nichole executed a perfect college boy roll. Jumping off just a few second before Lennox. Lennox was able to catch up with his long legs. Hand over pipes were next. Nichole barely had her feet on the low balanced log, before she jumped onto the pipes. Her feet hooked around, and she slid down, reaching the log walk. Lennox right on her tail. All the noise around them blurred into the back ground. Neither paying attention to the cheering around them.  
Sweat rolled down their faces. A few strands of hair came loose from Nichole's bun, but she didn't let that stop her. Now they faced a large, tall log wall. Nichole knew she was at a disadvantage. Lennox made over the wall with ease, his tall legs doing all the work. Nichole struggled to get over the wall. Upon hearing Lennox's boots hit the ground, only made her work harder. He was already over the medium roll over log, before her boots hit the ground. She had to catch up, she's determined to win. She practically jumped over the roll over log and vaulted flawlessly over the four-foot-high logs, catching up to Lennox in seconds. Now it was time for the double pull over bar. Lennox was able to jump up with ease, but Nichole once she was up, was able to flip over faster. They both landed on the ground with a large thud, dust rising off the ground around them. The last task, the rope climb. Whoever reach the top first and rang the bell would be the winner. At this time no one knew who to cheer for, the two were equal competition.  
Nichole jumped and grabbed the rope, quickly wrapped the rope around her foot and pushing off. She stared at her target at the top. There was no time to look down. She moved swiftly, hands gripping the rope tightly. The bell about to be within her reach. Once there, her hand grip the small rope within the bell. A loud thin ring rang around the surrounding area. Another one going off a second after the first one started. There was so much cheering, neither of the two knew who one. Nichole reached the bottom first. As she let go of the rope a tall muscular body wrapped himself around her. Not caring that she was all sweating and grimy. She pushed the man off of her, trying to see who it is. "Sunstreaker!" She yelled, laughing. He had a huge smile on his face, looking proud of her. "Who.." She started but was cut off. "The winner is...(drum roll)...Nichole!" Bumblebee announced.  
She jumped in happiness. She turned to look at Lennox, holding out her hand. "Great race. I haven't had competition like that in a long time." She boosted. He grabbed her hand, "Same here. I'll have to get your paperwork started." He said grinning. She couldn't hold back the smile that formed on her face. She couldn't find words to say how happy she was. "Go shower. We both need it." She laughed at his words but did as told.  
"Good Job, Nichole." "That was a close race." "Next time, I'll take you on." Soldiers and Autobots around her were yelling to her. Most thought it was exciting. Others were pissed that she won. There was nothing any of them could do about it. She won fair and square. With Sunstreaker and Sideswipe following behind her, most soldiers didn't speak about their anger towards her. Adrenaline still pumped through her as she walked back to her room. It was the most excitement she's had since she came to the god forsaken place. Her smile seemed to fade as she walked to her room. "What's wrong?" Sunstreaker asked, noticing the frown. "Diesel wasn't here to see my win." Her voice monotone. "I'm sure he would be proud of you. You can tell him when he gets back." Sideswipe offered. "I know, it's just not the same." The twins nodded, agreeing with her. That was the end of that conversation as they had reached her room. "I'll be out in a few." She said, leaving the boys standing outside her door.

She stood leaning against the large hanger doors. Her long hair tied up in a low ponytail. Her arms are crossed over her chest and her stony gray eyes are staring over the base. Without warning a pair of hands wrapped around her waist. A few months ago, she would have elbowed the man in the gut. But now she welcomes his comfort. He leans his head in the crook of her neck, holding her close. "Are you alright?" His husky voice whispered in her ear. "I'm alright, Sunstreaker." She mumbled turning her head towards him. "I don't believe you." He said kissing her cheek. "I know you don't." she gave him a small smile. He turned her around, so she was facing him, his hands still on her waist. Her hands pressed against his strong chest. "You don't have to hide yourself anymore. I'm here for you." He leaned his forehead against hers, both closing their eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but he continued. "I know its hard to change. Especially since you've been hiding your whole life, only trusting one person, but I'm here now too. And I'll always be here." He gently pressed his lips into hers, the kiss filled with so much passion and love. Something neither of them new much about but would learn about together. For once in her life she felt whole. Sunstreaker made her feel whole. Like her heart could start beating again, letting the ice melt. The ice that incased the broken organ, to protect it from anyone on the outside.  
"I'm just worried about Diesel." She admitted after they parted from the kiss. Her arms were wrapped around his neck as she leaned away to speak. "I know you are." He pulled her into a tight hug, holding her close. Her head rested in his chest, eyes wide, thinking about her partner. "He will be fine. He's with Optimus, Ratchet, Ironhide, and Jazz. They all know what their doing." He tried to reassure her. Not that it was working, but he was trying. "But what if it is all a trap. What if they never come back?" She cried. Sunstreaker seemed to tense up at her words, but quickly loosened up. "They will come back. They are the most experienced mechs I know. Prime will let nothing bad happen to them." He leaned down and nuzzled her nose, making her give a quiet giggle. "I guess your right. What time is it?" "almost one." "Shit I need to go see Lennox. He has some news for me. Want to come?" She gets herself out of his hold and begins to walk towards the offices. With a nod, he tags along.  
They held hands as the two walked over. Soldiers were still getting used to Sunstreaker being in his holoform. The bases two most heartless people were together, Soldiers stayed out of their way. Autobots as well, especially the younger bots. Their pace was quick, making the walk short. Nichole knocked on the Majors door and waited for a cue to go in. A muffled "Come in" was heard on the other side. "Nichole!" Lennox jumped up from his seat, hands shuffling papers around. "Your paper work is finished and has been sent. I talked to General Morshower and if you are approved, which will probably take a few tries, he wants you under his command. Well you would be under mine, here at NEST." A frown showed on her face. "Wait I won't be able to be a Marine again?" She asked quietly. He looked at her and frowned as well. "Unfortunately, with being medically retired from the Marines, if we are to get anything turned around, you still wouldn't be able to go back in. But you can join the army and you will also get promoted."  
Silence filled the room as she took the time to think it over. She would still be going back into the military and once a Marine always a Marine. It shouldn't matter to her what branch, she should just be happy having a chance to be a part of something again. Diesel is starting to get to her now. This could still work for her. If she lets it. "Alright. That will work." She said confidently. Sunstreaker squeezed her hand in reassurance. Lennox gave her a small smile at hearing her words. She tried to smile back, but her heart wouldn't let her. This is what she wants, but not how she was hoping it would go. Either way there was still a lot of work to be done. "Let me know." She said quietly, then turned to leave the room, Sunstreaker not to far behind. "I will." Lennox whispered as the door closed behind her.  
"Why don't you look happy?" Sunstreaker asked as the door shut behind them. "I'm not ready to be demoted to a soldier." She admitted. Sunstreaker looked at her in confusion, not understanding what she said. "I'm a Marine. We are far and few between. Its hard training to become one and now I'll be lowing my standards to that of a Soldier. Yes, we are all fighting for the same thing, but the branches still have our own quarrels against each other. We all believe we are better in our own ways. That's just how we work. In the end we are all the same, we all work together against the enemy. Marines though, Marines are full of pride, its hard for us to go from something we've worked so hard for to let it go just like that." She explained. Sunstreaker reached for her hand, but she moved out of his reach. Comfort wasn't something she needed right now. What she needed was someone that knew her and understands her, but he's not here right now and who knows when he will be back.  
The rest of the day, she spent her time alone and outside away from base. Her mind running, not sure when it would slow down. "I don't know what to do Diesel." She looked up to the sky, the sun had begun to set, the stars beginning to shine. "I wish I could talk to you. I know Optimus said we could, but you got a mission to finish. You don't need any distractions. I know you don't. I would be a big one and I'm not about to let you fail." She paused fiddling with some grass before she continued. "But I do need you, buddy. I need your guidance. You always know what to say and how to make everything seem better than it actually is. Sometimes I feel like you know me better than I know myself. I'm without you again and I'm losing my mind. Yeah, Sunstreaker helps keep my mind busy, but he's not you. He doesn't know all the scary details that I call my life. I don't know if I could ever tell him the deep shit. I want to, and I know you'd tell me to. I just ain't ready too. Just ain't ready. I hope you come home soon. I could really use your help right about now." With that she got up and headed back inside.  
Sunstreaker was waiting for her by the hanger opening. He never left, but knew she needed some space. Everyone needs space every now and then. Without say any words, the two began to walk back to his room. Sleep had been hard to come by, but they both needed to try. Sideswipe was already in the room, passed out on his berth. Sunstreaker laid down and Nichole laid down on his chest, right above his spark. "I want you to know, if something ever happens and you lose me too...please know that I love you." He spoke quietly, almost too quiet for her to hear. She leaned up on her side and looked at him with confusion. "Where do you plan on going that I'll lose you too." She cried, trying to keep the tears at by, not understanding what he said. "Don't tell me you love me then leave." She all but shouted at him. "But I need you to know. I love you with all my spark. I know it doesn't make sense what I'm saying, but I need you to know." His optics focused on her in the dark.  
He wants her to say it back. The silence following his confession was killing him. He had been dying to tell her that he loved her. All he wants is her, she is his everything. At this moment, this very moment, he is all hers and always will be. Whether she likes it or not. "I can't." She whispered looking away. He took his digit and began to rub circles on her back. He did everything in his power to not get upset. He knew she wasn't ready, but he needed her to know. "I will never be what you want. I can't love you the way you want me too." She slowly got up, her knees wobbling for a moment until she gained balance. "Don't leave." He voice low and as wobbly as her knees. "I think I need to leave." She slid down his torso onto his berth. "No!" He shouted, picking her up in his servo. "You are not going to just run away." He cried out. "Sunstreaker...Let me...Go." She struggled to get out of his grip. "I'm not going to let you run away from this. I know you have feelings for me just like I do for you. I know you don't want to admit it or talk about it, but please let me tell you that I do."  
"Sunstreaker I can't. I can't listen to this." She continued to struggle. "Why not? Why can't you.." "I don't believe in love! I don't believe in those kinds of feelings. They don't exist. They are just words people say to each other to trap each other, to make them believe all the lies." She screamed at him. Anger beginning to fume inside her. He looked at her in shock, unsure of how to compute what she just said. His grip loosened, and she slipped through his grip and fell to his thigh. With him dazed, she took her chance to leave. She jumped to the floor, stumbling at first, then she ran. She ran as far away as she could. She didn't know where to run to. She had no where to go. She needed to get away from here. By time she stopped to catch her breath, she was almost to the gate of the base.  
She fell to her knees.  
Her head in her hands, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
"Love doesn't exist." The words she said ran through her mind. What she said was the truth. She doesn't believe in that kind of thing. The notion of love was ruined for her a long time ago. The minute her heart iced over, anything to do with love and caring and feelings was frozen. Though Sunstreaker has helped her heart begin to beat again, it won't change her mind. Nothing will ever change her mind.  
She heard revving of an engine coming from behind her. Without looking behind her, she took off in a sprint. Heading to the gate. As she was about to run threw the gate, she was grabbed and taken to the ground. "Ms. James you can't leave without escort." The soldier who had her on the ground yelled at her. She struggled hard, fighting, kicking and screaming at him to get off. "Please I don't want to hurt you." He grunted out trying to hold her down. "Then SHOOT me!" She growled, taking a chance and punching him in the face. He fell back, clutching his nose. Giving her time to get up and run, just as the golden Lamborghini pulled up. He transformed screaming her name. Hoping she would turn around and come back to him.  
When she didn't, he knew he had to go get back up. He couldn't leave without no one knowing. As much as he wanted to follow, it would be dangerous for him to go without back up. Meanwhile she kept running. Not caring about the burning sensation in her legs. The roads were deserted, not a living thing could be seen. After feeling far enough away, she slowed to a light jog then soon to a walk. She made sure to take a few turns here and then, not wanting to know how to get back. It wasn't until the sun was beginning to rise, she realized how long she had been walking. She's exhausted and thirsty. She continued to walk until a small park came into her view. She sat on the bench, letting her body relax for a few moments. Those few moments ended quickly as a jet flew close to the ground. A jet she recognized.  
"Fuck" was the only word she could get out before the jet transformed and landed in front of her, not giving her anytime to run, it grabbed her, transformed and flew off. As the jet flew towards the rising sun, the Autobots raced through the area looking for Nichole. If they would have been a few seconds sooner, they might have been able to save her.


	14. Betrayal

"Sunny, you need to rest." Sideswipe tried to get through his brother's head. 

"I can't. Not with her out there. I just can't." He cried out. 

Sunstreaker walked towards the exit, getting ready to continue his search for Nichole. It had been a few days since she ran away. Everyone was out looking for her. They were losing places to look at this point. Lennox made it clear that if you weren't busy working, you were helping the search for Nichole. He himself was also worried for her safety. It was getting to the point that he felt the need to try and get ahold of Diesel. They may need him to help find her. 

"Sunny, please. She wouldn't want you to let yourself go like this." Sideswipe kept trying. 

"She's out there because of me. Its my fault she is missing." He looked out the doorway, staring into the rain that had begun to pour from the sky. 

"What exactly happened? What did you say to her that night?" Sideswipe questioned. He remembers his twin coming and shaking him violently awake, telling him that Nichole had run away, and they needed to find her. He remembers how scared his twin was, the look in his eye as he spoke about her. Frantic that he might never see her again. 

"I told her that I love her." Sunstreaker whispered. It was just loud enough for Sides to hear. 

"It scared her. She freaked out. I tried to stop her from leaving. I couldn't stop telling her I love her and that she needed to hear it. Then she told me she doesn't believe in love. That it doesn't really exist. It broke my spark." His optics found his brothers. Hurt, desperation, helplessness shown. Sideswipe could feel his brother's emotions flooding though their bond. He wishes he had a way to help him. Stop the hurt that has been caused. 

"I mean what if something worse has happened to her. What if she's hurt or got caught or something." Sunstreaker continued to cry out. 

"She's a tough cookie. Nothing bad will happen to her. We all know she can fight and she can kill. She can take care of herself." Sides reasoned. Hoping it would help his throbbing spark. 

"Where's Bumblebee?!?" Lennox's voice rang out throughout the hanger. 

"He's out looking with the triplets." Mirage answered as he pulled in. 

"He needs to get back. I just got something he needs to see. You all need to see." His tone was upsetting. Clearly something happened that wasn't good. 

"I guess I'm going to have to wait to leave. Maybe its something about Nichole." Sunstreaker wondered as he turned and walked towards the others. 

"What is it about?" Sideswipe asked. 

Lennox hesitated, like he wasn't sure what to say or how to say it. 

"It's about Nichole."

*---------------------------------*

Its dark, its cold and it smells. The ground is hard rock, the cell being built into the wall. Rotting flesh lays around the area. The corpses looking nothing like a human anymore, for they had been there much longer than she. The air was cold enough to see her breath. Goosebumps were raising on her skin. Her clothes torn apart from struggling against her captors. She sits against the rough wall, legs spread out in front of her, her hands laying loosely on her lap. Her sleepless eyes stare in front of her. Nothing in particular, just staring. She has only been here a few days, but time has no place here. The sun never shines deep within this cave. To her it feels as if she's been here for years. With nothing to do and no one to talk to, one wonders how she stays so calm. How she has yet to crack?  
Large steps begin to shake the ground as they walked closer. Her hands go to her side, holding the floor, trying not to fall over. Her face never falters from her calm expression. Metal unsheathes and begins to clank against the bars of her cell. Glowing red eyes come into view, lighting up the sword that was being held by the former gladiator. She waits for him to speak, already knowing what he is going to say. The noise stops as he steps in view of her, his narrow eyes staring at her in anger. 

"You were supposed to die that day." His low raspy voice echoing throughout the cave. This was something different and it caught her attention. 

"So was your partner. I had been looking for him for quite some time. I needed him to begin my plan. I needed him dead, but somehow he still managed to live, as well as you did." His tone rose with interest as he spoke. Intriguing her more. 

"If I'm supposed to be dead, why catch me instead of kill me?" Her throat burned as she spoke, from not being used in the past few days. 

"I have come to learn some fascinating information and I plan to use it to my advantage." He grinned an evil grin. A grin that would have scared anyone, but her, she wasn't fazed one bit. When she didn't flinch nor move, his grin disappeared. 

"Now it would be a wise idea to cooperate with me. I'd say, so you'd be able to see your friends again, but they will be dead by time we are done here." He looked away as he said this, but at the end he looked at her, as if waiting for something to happen. 

"It would be wise for you to understand that no matter how much you threaten and take away from me. I will never falter. You think your some powerful, tyrant. But your nothing but a power-hungry dictator." She finally stood and looked him in the eye. 

"You humans are tiny and weak. All you do is destroy each other. Humans are such a primitive species." She smirked at his statement. 

"Isn't that what you and your species are doing? One fighting for power, to rule, the other fighting for peace. Though it doesn't really matter, because millions are dying in the process. It's the exact same! The only difference is species and how you fight. Either way death will always be there." She says grimly. 

"We are nothing alike!" He roars, slamming his fist into the rock. 

"Start looking at the big picture." 

"I, Megatron, am the big picture! You and all the other disgusting fleshies will bow down to me. That is the difference. I can crush you like a bug. Death, I'd say that's something to be scared of." He growled, she was getting to him and he didn't like it. 

"Death is imminent. It will always come, there is nothing to stop it. Whether its by your monster foot or time. By someone else's hand or your own. I am not scared of Death. I welcome it." She emphasized the last three words, making sure he heard her. 

*---------------*

"Optimus we are closing in on Cybertron." Ironhide announces from the controls on the flight deck. 

"There seems to be odd energy signals just a few kliks in front of us, but I don't see anything." Jazz reports from one of the monitors. Optimus and Diesel step up close to the front of the ship, looking out the large windows. Optimus has his arms crossed, face shield on and his optics squinting to find a clue of the odd signals. Then Diesel gasps. 

"Optimus we aren't alone out here." He states pointing to something. 

"What do you see?" Optimus asks, trying to see what Diesel sees. 

"There is a lone ship, its cloaking flickering every few seconds." The ship goes quiet, everyone staring intently at the area. A small flicker of a small gray ship is seen. 

"It's a trap!" The words roar out of Optimus's dermas just as they begun to get fired upon. 

The Decepticons were waiting for them, a whole fleet. They knew they were coming. 

*------------------*

"Its time to go, Fleshie." Megatron snarled as one of his cons opened the door to her cell. She stayed where she was, sitting against the rock wall, staring at nothing. Her eyes now sporting black rings around them from lack of sleep, flab had become more apparent on her arms, as she hasn't eaten a proper meal or worked out in what seemed like months. Though, it had only been another week. 

"It's a shame at how fast the body degenerates, especially human body's." He sneered at her. 

"Now get up, we have an appointment to keep." He snapped at first, then toned down to a more gentler tone and it did not make anything better. Her mind has been put reverted back to an old state, one she thought she would never be put in again. She refused to speak and refused to do anything. They continue to torture her, to get more information, but she won't say anything. They don't realize how much pain she can really take. The energon burns on her arm prove it. 

"I said now!" His voice raucous, loud enough to cause pain in her head. She slowly got up, not for his benefit, but so she didn't have to listen to him speak anymore. 

"Would it hurt you to say please?" a rough coarse voice struggled harshly out of her throat. 

"She does still speak." He says sarcastically, a sly smirk forms on his face. Not a second after she stepped out of the frozen prison, she is scoped up by Megatron himself. He was the only one to handle her, to talk to her, to torture her. He had made it his mission to make her scream. He squeezed her hard as they walked away from her former prison cell. 

"You are so disgusting. Dirty, smelly." He complained. 

"Well if you gave me the right... amenities, like a... shower and a... toilet. Maybe I'd... smell a little... better." She struggled to say through hard breaths, still managing to shot the words at him. Not caring at all that he could kill her with one squeeze. All he did was growl back in response. 

*-------------------*

"We ready to roll." Major Lennox asked Epps and Bumblebee. 

"Good to go." Epps answered. 

"Time to kick some ass!" Bumblebee answered with a little more flare. 

"Everybody in let's go." Lennox shouted then got in his truck as well. They were to follow Bumblebee and the Autobots. No one knew what they were up against, all they knew was it was a threat against Nichole and the Decepticons were involved. Given a specific area to go to. The goal was to get Nichole out and get back to base. Sideswipe was in charge of getting her straight to safety. As much as he would rather fight the Cons, he knew his brother would go into overdrive trying to get out of there and wouldn't make the best decisions. Sunstreaker wasn't happy, he was furious. He was ordered to stay back. 

"Alright, everyone get in your positions." Lennox whispered through the radio. They reached an seemingly abandoned building and the whole area was silent. Not your nice sunny day kind of silent, letting the wind hit your face, but an eerie, creepy, captivating silence. Everyone's hair was standing on end, waiting. The humans stayed back, weapons at the ready. The Autobots transformed, Bumblebee leading the way. They stalked silently up to the building, weapons ready to hit their target. Bumblebee puts his back up to the side next to door, Mirage does the same on the other side. Listening in, Bumblebee waves for the triplets to brake the door down. Splinter of wood go flying around them. The triplets aim inside, ready to fire. Silence still crept over them. 

"Well this is Bullshit, there's no one here!" Not a second after Crosshairs spoke up, they were fired upon. 

Sunstreaker drove as fast as he could. He knows the whole plan. He knew where Nichole really is, and he is going to get her. He must save her. Before any of the others returned and figured out what was really happening. He could feel his twin trying to contact him, trying to get him to come, but it would be no use. He had more important things to deal with at this moment. Skidding around corners, honking his horn to get people out of the way, he had no idea if he would make it in time. His spark's beat was miles per minute, almost ready to explode. If anything happened to Nichole it would be his fault, course everything was already his fault. 

"Nichole please be okay." He kept saying in his helm, over and over. 

*------------------*

Megatron flew through the air with grace and poise. Something that was unfamiliar to her as she sat in the cockpit. Flying was never her thing. She only flew once and that was on her way back from Afghan, leaving Diesel behind. 

"Will you get your dirty nasty claws out of my interior!" He growled throughout the cockpit. 

"Maybe you shouldn't have made me fly with you." She snarled back at him, digging her nails in even further. He cried out in pain. This made her raise an eyebrow and a smirk crawled onto her face. She proceeded to do it again. 

"Fleshie! If you do that again, I will flip over and let you fall out of my cockpit." His voice echoing around her. 

"Then do it!" She taunted as she dragged her nails down the armrest of the seat she was slammed into. He needed her, and she knew it, so all he could do was grumble and keep flying. This satisfied her enough to get her to stop doing it. 

Nichole had no idea how long they had been flying for. All she knew was she couldn't wait until she was touching the ground again. It wasn't much longer until Megatron transformed mid flight and landed on the ground, Nichole in his servo. 

"Humph!" She groaned after the rough landing. 

He scoffed at her complaining and began to walk forward. She looked around, taking in the surroundings, trying to keep herself from falling as he took some ungraceful steps. Brick buildings surrounded them, honking form cars and screaming females rang all around. Her mind wondered around where he was taking her. It looked like her old base. A place she hasn't been to in a year or two. Her last few years in the Marines were spent overseas. Why would he bring her here, it's not like she was anything special to anyone or anything on base anymore. Though, she didn't think she was. She always thought of herself as a someone no one wanted to be around. She intimidated people, scaring them into submission. Marines in her unit never wanted her around, especially after her first deployment with her unit. 

The building's blurred around her as they moved, she's unable to tell where they are on the base. Megatron stood just as tall as most of them. It wasn't much longer until Megatron stopped in front of a large, tall and wide building. It took her a few moments to figure out the building they were standing in front of. 

"Why are we at my old shop?" She asked looking down at the sign on the building. 

"Your going to fetch me Diesel's old tool bag." He explained. She looked at him like he was stupid. 

"You know his bag was probably left in Afghanistan right?" She sneered. None to gently he plopped her on the ground. 

"I already know its here. I need that bag." He grumbled. 

One last glare and she headed into the mechanic bay of her old unit. Just as she was to hit the tool room she was stopped by an old mate. 

"Sgt. James." The man stammered. Clearly confused on how she got there after not seeing her for over a year.

"Cpl George, I need the tool bag for truck 659726." She ordered. Her eyes dead and impatient. 

"That's one of the trucks we lost overseas. We wouldn't have that gear." 

"Don't bother lying. I know its here." She interrupted. 

The young Corporal stood for a moment, unsure of what to say, then gave a sigh, turning and leading her to the tool room. No words were said between the two. They could hear the Marines outside beginning to yell orders as they noticed Megatron standing just outside. George didn't' need to question what he was here for. It took him a few moments, but in the back of a quadcon, he dug out an old torn up bag and handed it to her. 

"Get out of here now! Take as many as you can with you!" She ordered. She has no clue what is in this bag that is so important to Megatron, but she knew he would kill to get it. Part of her wanted to run, but another part of her didn't want anyone to pay for her doing. She decided to look in the bag before going back out there. She laid the bag on the desk in the corner of the tool room. Brushing a few loose strands of hair behind her ear, she untied the bag and rolled it open. The moss green bag held a variety of tools, hammer, wrenches, screwdrivers and other items, but there was one item in the bag that didn't make sense. It was a long cylinder like capsule. About the size of a hammer, making it easy to hide. It is glowing a bright blue color and seemed to be pulsating. 

"Woah. What the hell is this?" She asked herself, seeming to become mesmerized by the cylinder. Crushing sound of a wall jolted her back into reality. 

"Fuck." She whispered, quickly wrapping up the tool bag and running back into the shop bay.

Megatron had collapsed some of the building, rock and debris flung everywhere, dust covering the air. Nichole coughed as she climbed over the broken-down wall. 

"What took you so long?!?" His voiced echoed as he walked into the bay, causing more dust to rise. 

"Getting your stupid package, what do you think I was doing?" She shouted back to him. Without warning he shot a truck that was in the bay, causing it to go up in flames. She looked around to make sure know one was in the area, seeing know one she let her shoulders drop a little. Then that's when she heard it. The sound that caused her heart rate to speed up. A roar of the engine that calmed her senses. She turned quickly, jumping over debris to find the source, but before she could get very far, she was snatched up. 

"Put me down you big lug!" She cried out, clinging to the tool bag. 

He stood there, holding her tight as a golden sight drifted to a stop in front of the collapsing building. 

"Megatron!" A husky voice roared from the Lamborghini as it transformed. "Let her go!" His optics flickering between red and blue. 

"Sunstreaker, how nice of you to join us." Megatron said sarcastically. 

"Sunstreaker!" Nichole yelled in excitement. A smile shined brightly on her face as she looked at her mech. He came to rescue her. As much as her pride wanted to be against it, she couldn't help be overjoyed to see him. Her smile vanished as Megatron ripped the bag out of her hands and let her drop to the floor. Sunstreaker's reflexes were quick and he was able to catch her. 

"Nichole I'm so sorry." He whispered as he sat her gently on the floor. 

"There is no need to save her Sunstreaker. Her use is done with." Megatron snickered. 

"Why is he talking to you like that?" She questioned him. Her eyes losing the light that had started to fill them. 

"You got what you wanted, let her go." Sunstreaker ordered. "You know I can't let her live."

Megatron thrashed his sword out, aimed at Nichole. She had no time to think, no time to move. Sunstreaker was quick to get over her as the sword sliced down hitting his armored forearms. Sunstreaker pushed himself up, pushing against the sword that was slowly cutting into his armor. 

"You dare fight against me. After the deal you made?" Megatron thundered. Nichole looked between them confused. The two glaring at each other, snarling. Megatron couldn't help but notice her confused look, thus making him begin to laugh evilly. 

"You never told her. I would of thought you would of told your precious sparkmate." 

"What the hell is going on?" She screamed at the top of her lungs. Sunstreaker looked down at her, pain and sorrow showing on his face and more in his optics. 

"Well go on, Sunstreaker. Tell her how it was all you. You helped locate Diesel. You helped Optimus to located what was 'needed' from Cybertron. Helping me get Optimus out of the way, so I could get my secret weapon back. I must thank you. I'm very surprised you were able to keep it to yourself." Megatron taunted. 

"Please tell me it's not true?" Nichole cried up to Sunstreaker, her eyes filled with hurt and anger. 

"Oh, it's true. Better believe it. They are never coming back, why because Sunstreaker here helped me destroy them." Megatron chuckled evilly. 

"No!" She screamed. 

She fell to her knees, they were unable to hold her weight anymore. Her hands to her side, eyes wide in confusion, they wander over his face, looking for a sign that he is lying. She gapes her mouth open in shock, looking for words to say. Trying to speak but nothing comes out. He looks at her unsure what to say. He never thought his secret would come out, he never wanted her to find out this way. He doesn't know what to do at this point. He wants to hold her, but instead he turns and runs. 

"It was only a matter of time. Too bad you meant nothing to him." Megatron who stood behind her sneered. She locked up, straightened up, and let all the emotions vanish from her face. 

"You got what you wanted. I'm done here." She said standing up, not looking at him. Then she marched out of the burning building. She heard him transform and fly out. She kept walking. She walked past the firefighters trying to put out the fires. She walked past Lennox and his team, unsure of how when they got there, but not caring. Lennox saw her and ran up to her, stopping her from going any further. 

"What happened in there?" Lennox shouted at her. 

"Isn't it obvious?" She shouted back. 

"He lied to us. He lied to all of us. It was a trap and he set it up." She continued. Lennox looked at her in shock. For he didn't have a clue. 

"Where is Sunstreaker?" He finally noticed that the golden traitor wasn't there. 

"Long gone. Hopefully getting ambushed by the cons by now." She barked. Lennox was taken back, he knew of their relationship. She hadn't acted like this towards him in months. So why was she now. 

"Nichole, what's going on. What happened in there?" He tried to calm down and get answers. Nichole struggled to get words out. 

"Prime, Jazz, Ratchet, Ironhide and Diesel aren't going to come back, and it is all Sunstreaker's fault." She spit out, she wobbled for a moment, Lennox grabbed her arms to help keep her steady. His eyes wide in shock, he didn't believe her. There was no way he could believe what she said. He backed away from her. 

"No, that's not true. Sunstreaker is loyal to Prime. He would never betray the Autobots." He shook his head, looking away from her. Epps and some others had started to walk over to the two. No one had a clue of what really happened inside. Nichole was the only one that was stuck inside. She looked up at him. Anger flamed through her eyes. He should know she wouldn't lie. She clenched her fist, trying to holdback from punching him square in the jaw. 

"If it was a lie, Sunstreaker would still be here with us and Megatron would have been flattened." She said through her gritted teeth.


	15. Don't Lie to Me

They arrived back at base well into the night. There was a lot of cleanup work after Sideswipe found out what happened and more so trying to get a story out of Nichole. All she would do was say, over and over, "Sunstreaker betrayed us. He betrayed Prime. He betrayed me." 

Right now, everything was a complete mess. No one really knows what is going on. 

"Always knew that son of a glitch was going to betray us." Crosshairs scorned as he walked into the hanger. Without warning a metal fist collided with Crosshairs face. His eyes were red, his face contorted in anger. 

"Sunny wouldn't betray us if he had a reason." His fist is still pulled back, ready for another go. Sideswipe isn't going to let anyone talk about Sunstreaker that way. 

"O' yea then why ain't he here then. Why ain't Prime and the others back yet, or why ain't we had communication with 'em yet." Crosshairs shouted pointing a digit at him. Sideswipe stayed silent, knowing the older bot was right. 

No one went to bed gently that night. The next few days weren't that great either. Guard duty had been doubled, security on high alert. No one goes out or comes in with out the correct approval. NEST has been working hard to locate Sunstreaker with no avail. The Autobots have been doing everything possible to find Optimus and the others, again to no avail. No one knows if they are alive or if the comm link has been damaged on their end. Nichole had gone into hiding. Her presences seemed to have disappeared. Some feel relieved to not have her around, but yet they feel as if they are just waiting for a volcano to blow. Sideswipe wondered around like a ghost, his body moved, but almost like it was just a shell. His voice seemed hollow and unrecognizable. It hurt the others to see him this way, but they knew there was nothing they could do. 

Nichole woke up groggy to the sound of a knock on her door. Bags under her eyes, the same clothes sat wrinkled on her body from the last few days, as she slowly got up to see to the door. Her hair is a wild mess, tangled behind her head. She shied away from the light luminating into her room as she opened the door. 

"Ms. James?" A young soldier stood in the opening. 

"What?" Her voice came out hoarse. 

"Major Lennox would like to see you." He answered quietly. 

"Why?" 

"I'm not sure. He just told me to come get you." He jumped back as she gave a loud growl at him. 

"Tell him I need an I need a reason." She stated slamming the door and practically crawled back to her bed. Not a moment after she got to the bed, just as she had the sheets in her hand, a knock was heard on the door again. Grumbling and stomping her feet to the door again, she tightly grabbed the handle and yanked it open. 

"What!" She shouted. 

"Your coming to my office whether you like it or not!" Lennox shouted back at her. 

"What if I don't want to!" 

"I don't care! Get your ass up to my office and shower first! You look like shit." She grumbled an answer then closed the door and began to get a shower ready. 

After her shower, she spent over twenty minutes brushing the tangles from her hair. Though, it didn't help that her hands didn't want to work. They felt like weights were holding them down. It took most of her strength to lift the brush to the top of her head and slowly bring it down through her hair. She continued to struggle until there were tears in her eyes. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to stop the weak tears. When her eyes opened, she jumped in surprise. 

"Sunstreaker?" She questioned herself. Standing behind her in the mirror is Sunstreaker's holoform, looking sadly at her, cuts and gashes covering his beautiful face, hair disheveled and dirty. Her hand reached out without her commanding it to, touching the mirror where it seemed he was. He didn't move or reach out to her. More tears began to stream out of her hollow eyes. 

"Sunstreaker." She cried out. Closing her eyes, hand still on the mirror, crying, more like sobbing. When she finally looked back up, he was gone. She whipped her head around behind her. Nothing, there is nothing to show if he was really there. He is just a figment of her imagination. Rubbing her eyes harshly, she but herself back together. 

Soldiers stood back in surprise to see her walking though the hanger. Almost as if they were seeing a ghost. Some looked down on her, unsure of what to really feel. Some felt pity, sorrow. All of them were feeling their own pain, but what happened to her was much worse. Just when she had everything, it all vanished, gone without a trace. She strutted across the cement floor, head held high. She was not going to show any kind of weakness. Skipping a step as she went up to the second floor to the Major's office. She didn't bother to knock as she stepped into his office. 

"What do you want?" She growled. She strutted to the chair, putting her hands on the back of the chair that sat in front of his desk. Knuckles turning white from gripping so hard. 

"We need to talk about what happened." His hands were crossed in front of him, elbows on the desk. 

She retold the story, right down to every little detail. Including the pulsating blue cylinder. Lennox took notes as he listened to her speak. Nodding his head every now and then. He never stopped her, letting her continue with the rate she was at. She seemed to get lost in telling him everything, her eyes wondered around the room, almost as if she wasn't even there. Clear glistening tears rolled down her cheeks when she began to talk about Sunstreaker. She sniffled, trying to hold back when she brought up Diesel. 

"Megatron said there was an ambush waiting for them near Cybertron. Sunstreaker had planted a chip in one of the computers, so it would seem that there was something there, but there was nothing, just a bunch of Decepticons waiting for them to get close." Nichole paused for a moment. Her story was finished. Lennox knew what happens after that. Sunstreaker leaves, Megatron flies away, and she storms out of a burning building covered in soot and ash that sank into the wounds that she had acquired from her time of capture. 

Silence. 

Neither Lennox or Nichole had any more to say. His pen sat next to his note pad, his eyes staring down at the words he had written. A small water mark appears on the pad, followed by a sniffle from Lennox. Nicholes eyes bore into the seat of the chair her hands were still gripping tightly too. Her eyes dried of any wetness. There was nothing left in her. She did everything thing she could to keep her composure. Her body threatening to shake and give way. After a few more moments of silence, she broke it. 

"I need to leave." Her voice barely audible. 

"What?" He asked looking up at her, her eyes still staring downward. 

"My work here is finished. You only needed me for information. You got that and more." She raised her voice, trying to stay confident. 

"But what about trying to get back into the military?" He questioned, honestly surprised by what she is saying. 

"It wasn't going to happen anyway. I have other demons I need to go battle. It will probably be safer for you all anyway, if I leave." Her eyes caught his. They seemed to darken as she spoke.

"What kind of demons? You don't have to leave. What if Sunstreaker comes back? What if Diesel and the rest are still alive?" 

"Sunstreaker is nothing to me! Diesel and the others are dead. It's a fact, not a question." She shouted, forming a scowl. 

"You don't know that. We don't even know why Sunstreaker did what he did. Maybe he had a reason." Lennox is standing at this point. 

"It doesn't matter. Once a traitor always a traitor." She turned to leave. 

"What demons? At least answer me that before you leave." Her hand stopped before it reached the handle. 

"I can't tell you, sir. It is better that you don't know." 

"Please. I have been nothing but trying to help you since you got here. I know you never wanted to come here, but you know I have been trying." Her shoulders fell forward and she let out a sigh. 

"You are not to tell anyone..." Her voice trailed off as she began to speak. She turned back to him and he gave her a nod of understanding. 

She stormed down the base hallway, after leaving Major Lennox's office. She made her way through the hanger to get to her barracks room. Before she could disappear. She was stopped by a transforming Sideswipe. Once finished he knelt down in front of her, stopping her in her tracks. 

"What happened?" He asked concerned in his tone. 

"None of your business." She snapped. She proceeded to try and walk around him. He put his servo down in front of her. 

"Don't do this." He warned. He wasn't mad at her, he just didn't want her to go back and lock herself away again. 

"I'm not in the military anymore. I will do what I want." She demanded, knowing what he meant. 

"Sunny wouldn't like this." He warned, trying to get through to her. 

"Sunstreaker isn't here." She growled, pushing his servo out of her way and left down the hall. Sideswipe watched her disappear down the hall to her room. He wanted to know why Lennox needed to talk to her. Since the lose of Sunny, she hasn't been the same. Before she was trying hard, working with Lennox to try and get back in the military. Now she didn't care anymore. Lennox came out of his office after she was long gone. 

 

Sideswipe took long strides to get to him. 

"What did you say to her?" He demanded to know, kneeling in front of the disgruntled Major. 

"I can't disclose that to you. If you want to know, she needs to be the one to tell you, but she did ask to leave base." Lennox relayed. Sideswipe's shoulders fell. His eyes dimmed. 

"Why?" He asked in a whisper. 

"All she said was she's done. She has been here longer than she needed to be. But that's all I will disclose to you." Lennox shrugged. 

Sides stood and left the major standing there. He transformed and raced down the hallway to her barracks room. His holoform jumped out as he came to a sliding stop in front of her door. Nichole heard the hard, fast knocking on her door. 

She hesitated to open the door. As soon as that handle turned, Sideswipe barged in. 

"Sides." She began to protest as he wrapped his arms around her. Holding her tight. 

"Sideswipe, what are you doing?" She questioned, stiff against his hold, not sure how to react. 

"Please don't leave." He whimpered into her neck. 

"Why?" She said not necessarily as a question, but to reassure him. 

"I lost Sunny, I can't lose you too. Please." He begged. 

His arms snaked tighter around her waist. They stood in silence for a moment. Nichole kept her arms close to her chest and rested her head against Sides chest. His spark humming in her ear. She grabbed a bit of his shirt tightening her grip. Her eyes were wide, trying to stop the tears that were on the verge of falling. 

Sideswipe stayed with her that night after talking to Major Lennox and her saying she wanted to leave. He was afraid if he left her, she would leave. He couldn't recharge, keeping his eyes on the sleeping form next to him. His hand ran through her hair, arm wrapped around her, as they lay on her bed. Her head on his chest, arm draped over him. for the first time since Sunny's betrayal, she slept. She slept to the hum of Sideswipes spark. They both needed this. They need each other right now. They need to be strong. Sideswipe feels the need to be strong for both of them. He was going to find a way to get their Sunny back. No matter what it takes. 

She began to stir in her sleep, mumbled words coming from her lips. Her body began to visibly shake, scaring Sideswipe. Then she screamed. She screamed a high-pitched scream. Sideswipe shook her, trying to wake her up. 

"Nichole!" He yelled. She started to shove him away, her eyes still sealed shut. 

"Nichole, its me. Its me, Sideswipe." He continued. He grabbed ahold of her flinging arms. She struggled to get away, but he was much stronger than her. He was able to pull her into his chest and wrap his arms around her. She growled and continued to struggle. 

"Nichole, please. Its me." He whispered into her ear. Her eyes popped open wide and scared. 

"Sideswipe?" She questioned looking up at him. 

"I'm so sorry." She began to cry. Something she began to do a lot more after losing Diesel and Sunstreaker. 

"No no no. Don't be." He wiped the tears from her eyes. She sniffled and looked away. 

"Please don't turn away." She couldn't ignore his plea. 

Her eyes stared into his holoform ones, the pain and hurt radiating threw them. Her stone-gray irises seemed to be almost blackened now. Sideswipe caressed her cheek, lightly brushing a few strands of hair behind her ear. He gave her a weak smile. One she couldn't return, it only made her frown even more. Tears slowly slid down her cheek. 

"Please don't cry. You've done to much of that." He mumbled, trying not to cry himself. 

"I don't know what to do anymore, Sideswipe. I feel so broken. I'm lost." She cried. These feelings she had, she hadn't felt in a long time, not since her childhood. 

"I understand. We will get through this. I promise." Sitting up, he pulled her in close again. Holding her tight, almost afraid he might lose her. 

"Don't make promises you can't keep." Her voice muffled by his chest. He looked away from her, biting his lip.

Then he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her up, so he could look her in the eyes again. "I will keep this promise. I promise to make things right. I don't know why Sunstreaker did what he did, but I will find out and I will bring him home." His eyes searched hers for a sign of belief. 

"I want to believe you, but I can't. Sunstreaker took all the trust I had. I tried so hard and now...I have none left to give. I don't know who I can trust anymore. What if your lying to me? What if your saying all these things just to give me back to the Decepticons?" She shivered, moving back from him, trying to get him to let go of her. 

"I will die before I lie to you." His bright blue holoform eyes bore into her darkened gray eyes. Neither wore an expression on their face. They stayed like this for some time, tension filling the air, before Sideswipe finally looked away and sighed, bringing his arms to his side. 

All of a sudden, Sideswipe's eyes darkened and seemed distant. Nichole noticed and looked at him intently, waiting for him to come back. Sideswipe felt something pushing through the bond between him and his twin. As his eyes brightened, his head snapped to look at Nichole. 

"I felt him." He couldn't help the joy he felt, and happiness come through his voice. 

"He's safe." He said looking away from her. Nichole couldn't stop the anger that began to rise in her throat. She pierced her lips together to keep herself from speaking. Her eyebrows scrunched together as she pinched her nose. Sideswipe jumped to his feet and headed towards the door. 

"Where are you going?" Nichole asked surprised. 

"I have to go find him." Is all he said as he rushed out the door. Nichole rushing quickly to follow him. 

His holoform vanished just as she closed the door behind her. 

"SIDESWIPE!" She screamed, making him stop before he even started. 

"What?!?" He yelled back, clearly annoyed. 

She ran up to his passenger side door. "I'm going with you." She tried to open the door, but it wouldn't. 

"Sideswipe!" 

"Why do you want to go? You Keep saying you don't care about Sunny anymore." She kept pulling at the door. Tugging as hard as she could. 

"Nichole! Why?" He shouted at her, his whole alt vibrating at the loudness of his voice. She stopped pulling and backed up a few steps, her head down, looking at the floor. 

"Nichole?" 

"Cause I felt him to." She said quietly, looking back up at the primer red Lamborghini. The door flung open and Sideswipe fizzled into existence, sitting in the driver seat, looking at her in shock. 

"Really?" He wondered. 

"Don't make me say it again." She growled. 

"Get in." His voice turned cold. 

She jumped in, Sideswipe slammed the door and gunned it. Smoke flew up as he did a burnout through the hanger. He brought his alt to high speeds, racing towards where he was feeling his brother. Nichole had to hold on tight to his arm rest and the 'oh shit' handle. He kept his holoform on, his eyes staying focused on the road, hands tightly gripping the steering wheel. Not once taking notice of Nichole, almost as if he forgot she is there. "Come on, Sunny. Where are you?" He muttered to himself. Buildings and cars were a blur as they raced past. Sideswipe swerving around cars and people, like it was a training exercise and they were only statues. 

*-----------------------*

Somewhere far far away out in the galaxy, a darkened ship is floating. Ice cold crystals are beginning to form around the broke hull. No signs of life could be seen from looking in the shattered windows. Blaster marks scorched the sides of the ship, fire had gone out some time ago, leaving the black marks as a reminder. The silence inside the ship sent chills up anyone's spinal struts. Not even the light of the passing moons could see into the darkest corners. Damaged computers lay shattered amongst the deck. Broken glass severing important wiring cables. 

Then the body's...

The bodies of those who ran the ship are unmoving. Empty metal shells are all that seem left of the crew. Energon still seeping onto the damaged floor. Just when it seems all hope is lost...

Two dim cerulean blue optics light up the collapsing ceiling.

*---------------------*

Nichole had no idea how long they had been driving. The pulling of their heart/spark never seemed close enough to the intended target. While Sideswipes bond didn't hurt, Nichole's heart was beginning to become sore. Her breathing had become erratic and her heart was pumping faster than normal. Every now and then it would spasm and cause an electric like shock to be sent throughout her body. 

"Nichole!?" Sideswipe yelled as he was now noticing her rapid breathing. He quickly pulls himself over to the side of the road. Cars honk as they pass. 

"What is happening?" He yelled again, looking up and down her body. 

"I don't know. I've never felt this before." Her eyes stare off into the distance, hands resting on the armrest. 

"We need to get you to Jolt." Trying to hide the fear in his voice. Her hand grabbed his wrist, gripping tightly. 

"No, we need to find Sunstreaker." Her eyes filled with determination as she looked at Sideswipe. He breathed a few heavy breaths, looking her straight in the eyes. With a huff, he looked forward and continued driving the way they were being pulled. 

They ended up turning down an ally way. It's dim, with very little light. Dumpsters sit next to the wall, garbage starting to spill over. The smell is overpowering, even with the windows closed. A stray cat runs in front of the headlights, surprising Sideswipe enough for him to slam on his brakes. 

"Its okay it was just a cat." Nichole reassured him, setting a comforting hand on his arm. The lambo slowly creeps down the ally. Neither are sure what they are going to find. The pull loosens its hold on Nichole's heart, enough so she is breathing normal again. 

"Do you think he's down here?" Sides whispers, slightly looking over at her. "I don't know. If he's hiding, he could be anywhere." 

The ally way seemed to go for a few blocks. Low life and scums would come up and knock on the windows as they drove past. 

"You really should of picked a different alt mode." Nichole complained as she stared ahead, looking for a sign of Sunstreaker. 

"You really should of picked a different alt mode." Sideswipe raised his voice to mimic her. 

"I don't sound like that." Smacking him in the arm. 

"Ow!" He cried out. 

"Baby" she mumbled looking out the window. 

"I heard that." Sideswipe couldn't help but grumble. 

"Stop!" Nichole yelled. 

"I was only playing." 

"No stop the car. Look!" She shouted trying to open the door and point across the ally. 

Underneath a tattered, torn tarp a glimmer of gold shined as Sideswipes headlights glided over.


	16. Hard as stone and Cold as Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Present*

Nichole hops out of his alt before it had even stopped. Being careful not to transform, Sideswipe got out in his holoform and caught up to Nichole, grabbing her arm and pulling her back before she got to close. 

"What gives?!" She attempts not to shout as she glares at Sideswipe. 

"We don't even know if it's him and if it is we don't want to scare him. He hasn't transformed yet or done anything, he could be in recharge or stasis. We need to be careful." He whispers into her ear. She stares back over at the tarp covering who they hoped is Sunstreaker. 

"How many golden vehicles have you seen, cause I sure haven't seen any but one." She argues. 

"Sunny wasn't always golden." Sideswipe admits. 

"What?" She wonders looking at Sideswipe surprised. 

"He used to be a bright yellow, as bright as the sun." His voice was soft as he spoke about his twin. 

"When we landed he fell in love with the metallic gold color. So, he changed the color, thought he looked better, more shiny and flashy." His eyes avert to the ground. 

"Why didn't you change your color to match?" She asks looking at his sad face. 

"I think you would have looked good in metallic silver or any silver for that matter." She continued, making Sideswipe look at her, a small smile making its way to his holoform lips. The proximity to the two's lips closing. 

"We need to make sure its him." She said quickly changing the subject, pulling herself away from him. 

"I will do it then." He pushed her behind him. She shoved him out of the way and stood next to him. 

"We can do it together." She growled. She wasn't some innocent girl that needed to be protected. They slowly walked up to the tarp covered vehicle. Holes in the tarp showed some of the golden paint that sparkled against the headlights. They each took a side and gripped the edge near what they believed to be the front of the vehicle. 

"One...Two...Three..." Sideswipe whispers, and they fling the tarp off together. 

Underneath is a sight for sore eyes. Nichole couldn't stop the gasp that left her lips. 

"Oh Sunny." Sideswipe tone is full of sorrow and sympathy. 

"What happened to you?" Sideswipe asks but doesn't expect an answer. 

In front of them, the once glistening golden Lamborghini lay battered. Windshield and windows all smashed in, the glass cutting up the interior on the inside. The leather seats now torn and stuffing popping out, the once white seats almost look black now. Rough, jagged cuts run across the metal sides. Part of the roof had been crushed, making it impossible for someone to sit inside...comfortably. The front of the car looked as if it had been stepped on, one headlight missing and the other dangling from the wiring, like it was holding on for dear life. The damage is unimaginable. There is a puddle of blue liquid underneath the form and is slowly coming out in front from the uneven pavement the alt is parked on. 

"He's been here awhile." Sideswipes voice low as he looks over the alt some more. 

"We need to get him back to base." Sideswipe shuddered in anger. Who could have done this to his brother. 

"Why? He deserves this. He can stay here." Nichole's tone is tainted like poison. Sideswipe froze, not believing what he just heard. 

"Yeah maybe, but he doesn't deserve to die. How can you say that?" He shouted at her, eyes from strangers around them, staring at them. 

"HE KILLED PRIME, JAZZ, IRONHIDE, RATCHET AND DIESEL. He is the reason they are not here. He is the reason I'm supposed to be dead." She screamed, forcing Sideswipe to shy away from her. 

"There has to be a reason why. We need to know, and we can't know if he's dead. Please you love him, and he loves you." He pleaded to her. She gritted her teeth together, eyes shooting daggers at the red twin. 

"I do not love a traitor. I will never love this piece of scrap metal." Her tone thin as ice, swearing at him. 

"Then why don't you just leave." Sideswipe stood tall, teeth clenched tight together, knuckles turning white. Nichole stared at him and he stared back, both glaring hard, neither wanted to break away, both wanting to be dominant in the argument. 

"Fine. Do what you want? Tell Lennox I'm not coming back." She barked. She gave one last glare to Sideswipe, then one final look over Sunstreaker's seemingly lifeless husk. Her heart twanged a bit in pain, but she chose to ignore it. Without a goodbye, she left, stomping down and out of the alleyway. Sideswipe listened to her footsteps walk away from him, until he couldn't hear them anymore. A small tear rolled down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it away. 

"She's a monster. It will be better with her gone." He spoke, not to anyone in particular. 

She kept her head high and held the tears back. She can't understand why she feels upset about what she just did. Her heart feels heavy and her head is beginning to hurt. She isn't going to let it bother her. This was something that needed to happen. It made the decision to leave all that easier. No more Autobots or Military personal to get in her way. No more dealing with idiots. None of them really understood her anyway. They only played nice, because they were ordered too and that's how she felt about it. Nothing is going to change her mind. 

"Diesel..." She started. She stopped for a moment, leaning against a building after she rounded the corner of the alleyway. 

"How am I going to deal with life on my own? I can't do anything but kill people and work on Autobots. I need you. What am I going to do now?" She tried hard not to cry. She looked to the sky's, hoping to see a glimpse of the ship Diesel was on. Though, she knew it would never happen. Diesel is now lost forever to the stars. 

Meanwhile back with Sideswipe, he called for backup. After arguing with Crosshairs for what seemed like forever, Bumblebee finally took over and said they are on their way. 

"Don't worry Sunny, I'm here." His holoform hand resting lightly on the roof of his twin. 

"I wish you hadn't sped off, I would have been able to help." He whispered, unsure if his brother could really hear him. It would be a few hours until the Autobots would get here and he needed to secure the area and make sure no humans are around. Sideswipe looked around. The scums around the area seemed to have moved on, though he could still see a few eyeing down his alt mode. He made the horn honk twice and headlights go off, signaling he locked it. The few wondering eyes quickly turned and ran off. "That's what I thought." He muttered to himself. 

*---------------------------*

Minutes turned to hours, hours turn to days. Earth had yet to come into view. The ship had only been half repaired, there are no more supplies, there was no telling if they would really make it back. Running on half of the thrusters, it was a surprise to get even partial of the systems working, after all the damage they took, it was a surprise they were even alive. Well partly. Diesel had been the first to awake from forced stasis after a huge blast impacted the side of the hull, rupturing hitting him harshly in the helm. He wasn't sure who to check on first, everyone was down for the count. Figuring it would be best to get the medic awake, so he could tend to the others while Diesel tried to get the ship back together. It was going to be a difficult process. 

Prime was the last one to get revived. He took a big brunt of the hit to try and save the rest of them. He was going to need a long stasis recharge to heal most of his injuries. Ratchet did everything he could to help. 

"Well that's the best I can do for now." Ratchet finished, wiping his hands together. 

"We are all going to need a deep medical scan when we get back. How long until we arrive?" 

"At the rate we are at. Three days at least and that's only if the two thrusters stay working. I'm going to keep trying to get the other two up and going. Let's go Jazz, I can use your help. There's not much you can do on deck anyway." Ironhide said rubbing his wounded shoulder. Jazz didn't bother to speak or argue against him, he just got up and limped behind him. 

"Diesel, you need to rest." Ratchet said resting a servo on Diesel's shoulder. Diesel shrugged his servo off and continued to stare out the large bay window, stars and asteroids leisurely float past as Diesel tries to get the ship to move faster. 

"Diesel, we will get home." Ratchet tried to comfort the bot. 

"I can't rest. We don't know if Prime will make it. I won't be able to rest until we land." Diesel let out a sigh, rubbing the side of his torso. Ratchet looks down at where Diesel is rubbing and notices a huge open gash, showing all his inner wiring and stabilizers. 

"Diesel! Why didn't you say something?" Ratchet yelled, moving Diesel's servo away from his side to begin patching him up. 

"Its fine, Ratchet. We can worry about it later." Diesel growled. Ratchet gave no answer and continued to work, despite Diesels attempts to get him to stop. 

*------------------------*

Sideswipe paced outside of the medical bay as Jolt worked on Sunstreaker. His footsteps causing the ground to shake. Bumblebee posted Autobots outside the medical bay. Just in case Sunstreaker had a different idea when he woke up. The argument the two had about it, led to them rolling and crashing on the ground. The only bot able to tear them apart was Mirage, Hound and Crosshairs, and Crosshairs wanted nothing to do with it. Mirage and Hound had to pry them away from each other. Sideswipe was lucky Bumblebee didn't ban him from seeing his twin after surgery. Still pacing, Lennox walked up to him, his hand on the wall for support.

"Sideswipe." He called out. Sideswipe kept pacing, not hearing the major. 

"SIDESWIPE!" He yelled. Sideswipe stopped and looked down. 

"Where is Nichole?" he asked earning him a guilty look from Sideswipe. 

"What happened?" His arms crossed, and eyebrow raised. 

"She left. She told me to tell you she's not coming back." He tried to say with a straight face, but his emotions got the best of him, showing just how guilty he was. 

"Why? What happened?" Lennox asked again. 

"We got into an argument over Sunny. She didn't want me to bring him back to base. She wanted me to let him die. I tried to reason, but after she yelled some more. I told her to leave and she did." Sideswipe explained, not looking at Lennox. 

"And you didn't go after her?" 

"No, I couldn't leave Sunny." This time he looked him in the eyes, proving his loyalty to his brother. 

"Alright, well let me know when Sunstreaker wakes. I'd like to talk to him." The major turned and left down the hallway. 

"Don't we all." Sideswipe murmured to himself. 

Meanwhile with Nichole, she finally arrived at her destination, two days later. A place she never thought she would return too. It was time for her to do something she should of done so long ago. The town is still just as small as the time she left it. The one intersection with the only set of signal lights, showed the center of the town. The small gas station closed after eleven o'clock, though the lights over the pump still lighting up the night, yet there is one that was flickering. Like it had always done when she was younger. The small-town bank building had a small amount of remodel done to it, but the brick was still eroding from time. The one bar down the street, past the town hall is still open. Nichole set her sights on that, not sure who she might find there. All she knew is that as soon as morning hits, it won't be much of a town anymore. 

But before she is able to reach her destination, a familiar tan MKR16 rolls up next to her. Opening his passenger side door, telling her to get in. 

*------------------------*

His optics slowly opened, adjusting to the light of the med bay. His helm heavy, hurting from the drugs within his system. He slowly began to feel to is servos and peds, but it was a slow painful process. It took awhile for his systems to fully adjust. He tried to move but was quickly stopped. Trying to tug again, he realized he was chained to the table. 

"What the frag?" He whispered to himself. 

"It's only for precaution." He jumped slightly at the familiar voice, not realizing he wasn't alone. He looked over to see the familiar medic. His sparked warmed at seeing him. He could relax slightly knowing he wasn't being held prisoner by the Decepticons. That was until he realized something. 

"Ratchet, how....how are you here? How are.... you alive?" His voice hoarse from the damage he had taken. 

"The Decepticons had us down. They just can't seem to remember to make sure we are down before they leave. We were all badly damaged, but out of all of us," He paused for a moment, looking across the way. 

Sunstreaker, still attached to the table, couldn't see what his fellow Autobot was looking at. 

"Optimus took the biggest hit. I have done my best." He went quiet, staring across the room again. 

"You're the best medic I know, Ratchet. He'll make it." 

"Sunstreaker being nice. Maybe I should get my helm checked again." Ratchet gave a small laugh, but a smile was present. 

"I'm sure I'm the one who needs their helm checked again." Sunstreaker looked back up at the ceiling. His optics went wide, realizing something. 

"Ratchet? How did I get here?" He stared at the medic, his optics still wide, mouth parted, his breathing becoming heavy. 

"Your brother and Nichole found you. It's a good thing too. Your spark was diminishing, very little energon in your system, under 5%. I'm surprised I was able to get you back."

"Nichole?" His spark sunk and the sound of her name rolling off his tongue. A name that used to bring him joy. 

"Sideswipe said she forced him to let her come. He said that she felt a strong pull at the same time Sideswipe did." Ratchet talked while looking over his computers and scanners. 

"She did?" A small smile formed, he felt now that he still had a chance. 

"When will I get to see her and my brother?" Hope filled his optics as he looked at Ratchet. Ratchet stayed facing the screen, pausing, his digits froze, optics refocusing every few seconds. 

"Ratchet?" His face fell. He knows something isn't right. 

"I don't want to be the one to tell you. I'll go get Sideswipe." And with that he left the room. Leaving Sunstreaker confused and worried. 

*----------------------------*

They had been hiding in an abandoned workshop. It is large enough to fit the MKR16 and then some. Metal walls surrounding them, keeping out the wind, but not so much the cold. Snow had begun to fall. Being so far north and it is around Christmas time, snow was bound to hit them. She shivered inside of his cab. He had the heat cranked high for her, but nothing seemed to be working. She still felt frozen. 

"We need to get you somewhere warm?" He complained, hating seeing her in such a state. 

"Tell me how you survived and what happened and maybe I'll take you up on that offer." She argued. He sunk down on his tires a bit in a sigh. 

"I told you it already. There isn't much to tell. We got out there, it was a trap, Optimus saved the day, we got the ship running enough to get back. What more do you want, Nichole?" Aggravation showing as he spoke. 

"How did you find me?" Even though there was nothing to see, but the inside of the workshop. She still looked out his window. 

"When we landed, Ratchet immediately made sure got medical scans done and patched us up. Well when I asked about you, no one seemed keen on telling me. Lennox said that you went with Sideswipe to get Sunstreaker and then you left. I knew exactly where you would go. So, when Ratchet cleared me, I left to find you." He explained to her. 

"What happened while we were gone? Sunstreaker was laying in stasis in the medical bay with cuffs on when I got there." A low growl released from her vocal cords. Eyes darkening at the mention of his name. Her heart betrayed her, beating faster. "He should be dead. He's the reason you almost died. Both times." Her voice was like acid, poisoning the words as she spoke. 

"What are you talking about? Sunstreaker wouldn't do something like that." Diesel's remark only made her more upset. 

"He made a deal with Megatron and betrayed us all. Our last battle in Afghan...He was the cause of it. I was supposed to die and so were you." Her teeth are clenched together as she spoke. Fire in her eye, from the rage burning inside her. Diesel didn't speak, taking in the words she said. 

"Then why did you go with Sideswipe to find him?" Now it was her turn to be silent. 

"Nichole?" 

"I felt a pull." She said so quietly, he almost missed what she said. 

"What?" He wanted her to say it again, to hear it clearer. 

"I felt a pull." She said a little louder. 

"And you left him?" This time she was done talking, she opened the door and jumped out, walking towards the door of the workshop. 

"Nichole!" Diesel said in surprise but transformed none the less. 

"You need to get back inside my cab. You could freeze." He called out to her. She stood by the doorway, hugging her arms across her chest. 

"I'd rather freeze to death." She stated, her voice dead. 

"You don't mean that." He seemed to whimper. 

"No!" She shouted, echoing throughout the shop. 

"You should of let me finish what I started." She continued. He stepped back, at first not understanding what she meant. 

"No, I saved you from doing something you'll regret." He bellowed. 

"How would you know?" Tears stained her eyes. 

"You're not like them. You doing that, would be you becoming just like them. And your nothing like that. Your so much better. Now please get back in the cab." He begged. She looked away, thinking about what he just said to her. Hydraulics hissed, and gears cranked together as Diesel transformed back into vehicle mode. With a barely audible click, his door swung open. 

"Please." 

She gave a sigh, throwing her shoulders and head back. "Fine."

*----------------------------*

"What do you mean you told her to leave!?!" Sunstreaker screamed at his twin. Sideswipe winced back and looked away from him. 

"We got into an argument about you. I'm sorry, okay. I regret telling her that. As well as not stopping her." He said with guilt overflowing though his voice. 

"I need to go look for her." He stated, starting to struggle within his binds. 

"Get these fragging things off me!" 

"Sunstreaker, stop fighting. You can't leave until you talk to Lennox and Bumblebee." Ratchet tried to keep him still on the berth. Sunstreaker still continued to struggle. 

"No, I need to get her...Now!" He screamed. 

"Sunstreaker." An authoritative voice came from below. 

"Lennox. Good timing." Ratchet panted. Sunstreaker stopped struggling to look at the Major. 

"I need to know what happened. Why did you give intel to the Decepticons?" A question Sunstreaker wasn't ready for. He knew it was going to happen, but he wasn't prepared to answer it. 

He looked away, squeezing his optics shut. 

"Sunny, we need to know." Sideswipe pleaded, setting a comforting servo on Sunstreaker's shoulder. He continued to look away, but opened his eyes for a moment, before shutting them again. 

"I didn't know about Nichole when I made the deal. Megatron claimed he needed Diesel for some artifact. I still don't really understand what its for. All I know, is that Megatron had...." He paused, looking at everyone in the room. 

"He had information regarding a fellow Autobot and if I didn't help him, he was going to kill him." 

"Who Sunny?" asked Sideswipe. Everyone intently staring at Sunstreaker, waiting for his answer. 

"Kup."

*-----------------------------*

"We need to get you back to base. To Ratchet. Your getting a fever. You could get hyperthermia." Diesel worried. 

"I'm not going...(cough)...Back." She attempted to argue, her body shiver at a dangerous rate. 

"I know you don't want to, but I care more about your health right now, than your squabble with Sunstreaker." With that he revved his engine and soared out of the workshop, smashing though piles of snow that have built themselves around the area. Nichole began to go into a fit of coughing, causing Diesel to drive even faster. 

"You better make it. I will not let you die." He growled causing the whole cab to shake. 

"It's going to take over an hour to...(cough cough)... get back to base." Her head leaned back against the seat, still letting out small coughs here and there. 

"As long as I keep driving and don't slow down, we should be there by morning." Determination rippling through his frame. The only thing slowing him down right now is the snow. As soon as they get further south, it should get easier and he should be able to drive faster.


	17. The other side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Days prior as Sunstreaker is leaving the scene*

His engine roars as he kept accelerating. Heat raising inside the vehicle, his cooling fans on high trying to bring down the condensation forming on the windows. Whipping between other cars, trying to get as far away as possible. His speedometer reading over a hundred, his RPM's hitting the red zone. He has no idea where he is going, nor does he care at this point. He just lost everything within a few seconds. If he could cry he probably be a blubbering idiot by now, but his pride kept him from even attempting. His twin was pushing hard to get to his side of the bond, all he could do was ignore it. No one will understand what had happened and why, not even Sideswipe. 

Sunstreaker has been driving for a few hours now. Finally, his speed slowed, RPM's went down, and heat slowly dissipating, cooling down the inside. As much as he wants to answer his brother, he knows it won't do any good. 

"What have I done?" He cries out. 

"I had to. I had no choice. AHHHHH...I wish I could tell Sideswipe...tell Nichole. Oh Nichole. I worked so hard to get us to where we were and now it's all gone. All gone. Primus I love you so much, Nichole. Why couldn't you just accept that? Why did you have to run away?" He screams in anger. Nichole can't take all the blame, as much as he wants to put it all on her. None of this would have happened had he not gotten involved with the Decepticons. 

He pulled off the road down a side street. One leading to a dead end area. He parks on the side of the road and turns his engine off. The street is silent, the houses seeming empty and dark, no people outside working in their gardens or taking a stroll. It seems darker than the rest of the area, just the one street. Gray clouds hang over head, threatening the area below with the likeliness of rain. If he were in his bipedal mode right now, he would most likely be staring up into the sky, hoping for the rain to fall. He is unsure of the time and how long he has sat there. Not that he expected anything to happen, but nothing ever stays this silent for long. After some more time of just sitting there, being depressed, he decides he needs to get moving again. He does a quick U turn and heads back to the highway. 

His navigational systems tell him he's at least three or four states away from base and Nichole. He's running low on energon and needs to find a supplement. He knows that human oil will suffice, it was always something he didn't want to lower himself to, but right now...he has no choice. His holoform springs to life as he pulls into a nearby gas station. The place is full of life, surprising for a gas station in the middle of nowhere. Though it looks like a small cozy town. There are a few small shops across the street. The houses look a little run down, but the people around don't seem affected by it. A few people stare at his alt as he pulls up next to a pump. He smiles as he hears kids coming out of the store talk excitedly to their parents as they point at his alt. "Alright now how do I do this?" He whispers to himself, staring intently at the pump station. 

"Do you need some assistance?" A young women, maybe around the age 25, walks up near Sunstreaker While he's staring at the pump. He jumps in surprise, staring at the femme. He looks her up and down before answering. She's has long bleach blonde hair that is up in a high ponytail, freckles covering her nose and dissipating into her cheeks. Her chocolate eyes are large, full of kindness as they look at him. She's giving him a kind smile, clearly wanting to help him. 

"Um...no...I...I got it." He stammers not helping out his case. He looks away from her and back at the pump. 

"Do you have a credit card or want to pay cash?" She moves closer, not believing him for a second. 

"I said I got it." Sounding a bit more confident. 

"It doesn't look that way." She giggles and is now standing next to him. He pulls a card out of his pocket and isn't about to tell anyone how he acquired it. She holds her hand out to him, 

"May I?" He looks at her in question, but slowly hands her the card. As she swipes the card, she points out what she is doing. 

"What gas do you take?" 

"There are different kinds?" His cheeks flood with redness as he realized what he just said and from the laughter that just left her lips. She covers her mouth upon seeing his embarrassment.  
"Seeing as you have a high-end sports car, I'm going to assume you use premium." She presses a few buttons and opens up the latch to his fuel tank. 

"Do you race?" She asks as she slips the nozzle into his tank. He does the best he can to not show the shiver that just ran down his spine. He nods, keeping his lips pierced together, avoiding her gaze. He does his best not to sigh after she takes it back out, once finished filling him up, well his alt up. 

"I bet you win a lot." She wonders, putting the nozzle back and ripping the receipt off and handing it to him. All he can do is give another nod. 

"You're not from around here, are you?" 

"Uh no." He answers, his face turning red again. He rubs the back of his neck, looking anywhere but at her. 

"Um thank you." He forces himself to say. 

"Of course." She gives him a reassuring smile and heads back from where ever she popped out of. As quickly as he can, he gets in his alt and gets out of there. Doing a small burn out as he leaves the lot.

*--------------------------*

The days were beginning to mesh together. The scenery all looked the same at this point. Sunstreaker kept driving and at night, he found a secluded area, so he could recharge. He stopped feeling his brothers' bond after the third day. It hurt him to feel his brother giving up on him, but he knew it was going to happen, one way or another. Today is no different. Driving on the highway who knows where. He stopped listening to his warnings showing up in his system. He stopped caring all together. At this point he hoped the Decepticons found him and killed him. He wouldn't be able to fight back. His spark was beginning to weaken. The further he drove away from her, the worse it seemed to get. 

"Primus I miss you so much." Sunstreaker said as he thought about his scared femme. 

Like all the days before, he kept driving tell the sun began to set. Finding an exit, he got off the highway in some random area. He drove until he found an abandoned barn, but before he enter, the roaring jet soared fast to his position. Sirens from a cop car and squealing tires got louder as it got closer. 

"Frag." He says to himself as he sees the lights from the Saleen Mustang around the corner and race to him. Sunstreaker has no energy in him to race away. He sits there, awaiting his fate. 

"Well well well." The jet transforms and lands right in front of him. 

"Not gonna transform and chat." The con took his pede and stepped on Sunstreaker's hood. 

"Starscream, we don't have time to chat with this traitor." The mustang transformed, barring his teeth, clashing his fist together, showing off 'Punish' and 'Enslave' brass knuckles. Starscream lifted his pede off of Sunstreaker's hood and Sunstreaker let out a groan of pain. Where his pede was, it left a large dent in its place. 

Sunstreaker transformed landing on one knee, servo on his chest, the other holding himself up from the ground, looking down at the dent over his spark chamber. 

"Starscream...Barricade...nice to see you." He wheezed out. Starscream growled, grabbing him by the neck and pushing him against the side of the barn. 

"Where were your Sunstreaker? You were supposed to meet with our Lord and Master." Starscream sneered, spitting in his face. 

"He...He got what.... he wanted... I'm done...done working for him. The deal has...been finished." He struggled to get the words out as Starscream choked him harder. 

Starscream let go and Sunstreaker fell to the ground, holding his neck. As he was about to stand up, without warning Barricade slammed his fist into Sunstreaker's lower torso, sending him further into the ground. 

"The deal was not finished, but it will be when we are finished with you." Barricade roared slamming his fist back into Sunstreaker. 

"I wasn't going to let him kill her." Sunstreaker sneered, wiping energon off his lip. 

"And that's where you went wrong." They began to beat on him. 

Sunstreaker tried to fight back, but he knew there was no use. They didn't let any part of him go untouched. Ruining his finish, breaking glass, energon leaking from his core. After minutes of them beating, Sunstreaker finally gave up, his body finally shut down and went into stasis. 

*------------------*

His optics began to flutter open, his system screaming at him, telling him his damage. It was only a few seconds after waking, all the pain hit him. He screamed in agony. His systems were flooding, nothing is working correctly. He should be dead with all the damage he took in. It took longer for him to gain movements in his extremities. 

"I need to get to Sideswipe." His voice coarse and harsh. His pride went against him going back, but he would surely parish is he didn't get help. Metal screeched together as he tried to stand. Falling several times, before he could stand steady on his feet. As he began to transform, his beautiful, graceful transformation is now dysfunctional and painful. It was very difficult for him to get into his alt form. When he completed, he surprised himself in being able to finish it. Now he had to begin a long trip back to Sideswipe. He opened the bond but couldn't feel his twin. 

"Please feel me soon, brother." He cried as he began to roll out. Driving back the way he came.


	18. I'm Here

The night was a long one for both Nichole and Sunstreaker. Nichole's condition only got worse as the drive went on. By morning she had a rousing fever of 104 degrees and had started to throw up anything and everything just after midnight. Diesel drove faster than he has ever driven. He came speeding into base at three in the morning, screaming for Ratchet. Sunstreaker on the other hand got a call from Sideswipe to get back to base at three in the morning. As soon as he finished telling Lennox and the others what he did and why, he was able to leave and go look for Nichole. He had been out all night looking. He thanks primus and turned around, speeding back to base. 

He drifted to a stop as he pulled into the hanger. Transforming ridiculously fast and stormed to the medical bay. Before he could go into the med bay, he was stopped by Diesel. 

"You can't go in." Diesel stated it like it was a fact. Like it was something everyone knew. Sunstreaker growled, 

"Why not? That's my femme in there and she needs me." Diesel stood tall, towering over Sunstreaker. 

"She wants nothing to do with you right now. You are the last person she wants to see right now. When she is well again, she will get the full story. But until then, you stay away. Got it?" Diesel intimidated the younger mech, but Sunstreaker was not about to bow down. 

"Get out of my way." His voice low and violent. 

"Sunny, we'll come back. Please let's not fight right now." Sideswipe grabbed his brothers' arm, attempting to calm him down. 

"For Nichole." He added through the bond. This seemed to help his brother calm down. Though still quite angry, he left with his brother. There is nothing they can do, no matter how much they wish there was.  
"You can't get into any trouble. You know that. I don't want you to end up in the brig." Sideswipe reminded him. 

"I know. I just need her. I need to see her. Its killing my spark." Sunstreaker said as he fell onto his berth, servos covering his optics. Sideswipe just got Sunstreaker back, but it's not the same.

"Kup should be here tomorrow." Sideswipe changed the subject. 

"Yeah the only good thing to come out of this. That doesn't change anyone's mind though, I'm still a traitor in everyone's optics." Sunstreaker rolled so he was facing the opposite wall to Sideswipe. Sideswipe let out a sigh, not sure what to say next. 

"I'm sure Kup will get ya off the hook. Ratchet will get Prime back, and all will be good." He said trying to lighten up the mood. 

"It won't change Nichole's mind. She will hate me forever." Sunstreaker mumbled back. The room went silent. Sideswipe is out of ideas to try and cheer his brother up. Nothing seems to be working. Instead he laid down and tried to get some recharge. 

Diesel looked over to the berth that held Nichole. Ratchet was able to stabilize her heartrate and get her fever down. She is wrapped up in a heated blanket that is slowly warming her up. She lay asleep from the drugs put into her body. Diesel couldn't help but feel like this is his fault. 

"I should of made you go back right away. I should have got you out of the cold sooner. I'm sorry, Nichole." He says as he sits next to her. 

"She will be alright, Diesel. She just needs her rest." Ratchet said calmly from his spot at his computers. 

"I know, but if I had been here, none of this would of happened." Guilt is present on his face plate. 

"Its not your fault and you know that. It's no one's fault." 

"It's Sunstreaker's." Ratchet turned and looked at him. 

"Sunstreaker may be at fault for some of this, but he would never so something to on purpose to intentionally harm Nichole. I've never seen a mech so in love. And what he did was something he started before he met her. And he was doing it for someone he looked up to as a sire." Ratchet stared down at Diesel as he explained. 

"I'm sorry, Ratchet. I'm just upset about all this." He admitted. 

"We all are. Just some of us have different ways of showing it." 

The next day, early in the morning, the crew who left to go fetch Kup, rolled in. Bumblebee, Crosshairs, Drift and the triplets. Kup is being pulled behind Crosshairs. Some soldiers helped to undo the chains and the autobots transformed. Ratchet ran a scan over Kup. 

"Kup don't transform yet." Ratchet said lowly as Kup gave a groan. 

"Let's get you to the med bay. Keep the twins at bay, until I have him in stable enough condition." Ratchet ordered as he and another bot helped carry Kup away. Just as they were through the hallway, the twins came sliding in around the corner. 

"Is that Kup?" Sideswipe yelled, trying to follow, Sunstreaker right behind. 

"Yes, but you can't see him yet." Ironhide. 

"Why not?" Growled Sunstreaker. 

"Ratchet wants him stable before you talk to him." Ironhide explained. 

"I can't see Nichole. Now I can't see Kup!" He barked as he left the hanger. Sideswipe didn't follow right away, filled with disappointment, just like his brother. 

"He looks so skinny. Worse than the last time I saw him." Diesel whispered, watching Ratchet work his magic. 

"We have no idea how long the Decepticons held him hostage." Ratchet replied. Diesel nodded in agreement. 

"Nichole said she was held captive by the Decepticons." Diesel added. Ratchet helm snapped in his direction. 

"Why didn't you say something? I thought the scabs on her arms were from her being reckless." Ratchet began to fret over Nichole's body. Running more scans on her. 

"She's fine. She's lived through torture before. The energon burns were fading by time I got to her." Diesel said nonchalantly. Ratchet stared at him in horror. 

"How can you be so calm about that? Energon should have killed her." Diesel shrugged. 

"She's always been different. All I know is when I get my hands on Megatron, I will kill him." He added. 

"It would make sense why her and Sunstreaker have a pull. She doesn't have any Energon in her system or anything to make her part Cybertronian. I've heard about humans like her, but I never thought I'd get to know one." Ratchet filled with excitement. Diesel looked at him, confused. 

"So, she's like a mythical creature? One that likes to kill and be an asshole to everyone she meets." Diesel couldn't stop the sarcasm. 

"They are not all alike. They are just able to withstand Energon and can sometimes be sparkmate's to a cybertronian. They live longer than most humans and it is very hard to kill them. They can withstand anything." 

"So, they are like a mythical creature. That explains a lot of things. But why is she having such a hard time with the cold then?" 

"Like I said there aren't very many and not many of our kind have run into them. They are just stories that have been told." 

"Do they have a name?" Ratchet put a finger to his chin, thinking hard about the question. 

"You know...I don't think they do. At least if they did, I don't remember." Ratchet admitted. 

"Now we have to break it to her?" Ratchet added. 

"I don't think she will care, but she has to wake up first. Its been three days." Diesel said looking at her. 

Her body lay still, covered in blankets. Hooked up to wires, monitoring her system. Her heart beat is stable, her breathing steady. She is now warmed up to normal temperature, but she still has yet to wake up. She looks peaceful, for once. Like the demons that haunt her have finally fled her mind. Her hair lay neatly around her, flooding over her shoulders. Her hands lay crossed across her stomach over the blanket keeping her warm. The beep from the monitor being the only thing telling them she is still alive. Otherwise she looks as if she's ready to get buried six feet down underground. 

There is a knock at the door, startling Diesel. Ratchet is back to work, working on Kup. Diesel got up to see who it is. As he opened his mouth to speak, Sunstreaker got his words out faster. 

"Please let me see her. I know I can't see Kup, but I need to be near her. Please." He pleaded, his servos clasps as if giving a prayer. Diesel looked down on the young bot, then slowly nodded his head. 

"Follow me and be quiet." Diesel ordered. Sunstreaker nodded his helm and followed. His spark began to feel at ease the closer he got to her. 

"She looks so peaceful." He whispered as he got next to her berth. 

"Can I go in holoform and get closer?" His optics pleading to Diesel. 

"Maybe it will help wake her up." Diesel said as he nodded a yes. Sunstreaker's holoform was next to her in half a second. 

"Hey beautiful. I know I'm the last person you want to see, but I couldn't stay away anymore. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for hurting you, for leaving you. I don't expect your forgiveness. Just seeing you alive is enough for me. I hope one day I can win your trust and heart back. Primus, I love you so much." He whispers to her, holding her hand, ending it with putting a kiss on top of it. He wishes he could lay next to her, hold her in his arms again, but he knows she would never except that. He has to start all over, but he's willing to just for her. He bowed his head, holding her hand close to him.  
Coughing was then heard after a few seconds. Diesel stood up and Ratchet ran over. Sunstreaker staring intently at her, waiting. Her coughing continued for a few moments. After it finally stopped, her eyes slowly opened. Her stony grays squinting against the bright light of the medical bay. 

"Nichole?" Sunstreaker kept a hold of her hand. Once her eyes had become adjusted, she began to look around the room. Her eyes stopped on Sunstreaker. She looked him up and down. 

"You bet your ass I ain't going to forgive you," She started, staring into his bright cerulean blues. 

"But you ain't about to leave my side anytime soon." His eyes light up at her words. He couldn't stop himself as he bent down and kissed her. She seemed startled for a moment, but soon melted into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. 

"So, I'm a mythical creature. I mean I know I'm different, but I can't be Unicorn different." Nichole scoffed. Ratchet and Diesel have just tried to explain to her why she was able to survive the energon that had been poured on her. 

"Yeah that's what I said." Diesel said bluntly. Ratchet gave him a what the frag look. 

"You're not a mythical creature." Ratchet's voice raised, echoing throughout the room. Nichole winced back against Diesel. Diesel wrapped his servo around her, protecting her from the wrath of Ratchet. 

"Okay Ratchet. Calm down. I get it." She said with attitude behind her words. Ratchet gave a huff and mumbled a few words to himself. 

"You can leave the med bay today. Your scans all came out clear. I still don't have an explanation for the cold. I will have to do more research." Ratchet turned to his computers, tuning out the two in the room. 

Diesel and Nichole took that as their cue to leave. With Nichole in his servo, Diesel walked out of the room and into the hallway where there is a set of twins waiting for her. 

"Nichole!" They both shouted as they saw the two walk out. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe huddled around Diesel to see her. 

"Nichole I'm so sorry for the things I said. I should have never let you leave. I don't know how I'll ever make it up to you." Sideswipe apologized, his optics showing the guilt he held inside. Nichole looked at him in surprise. Her eyes wide staring at Sideswipe waiting for the joke. 

"He's serious." Sunstreaker said pointing a thumb at his brother. She looked over at Sunstreaker then back at Sideswipe. She got over her initial shock and crossed her arms. 

"You won't make it up to me. Nothing you can do will work. Neither of you." Her words shot through them like a bullet. 

"I don't know how I will be able to trust either of you again. It will take a lot of work, but I'm willing to try. But first I want to know why, Sunstreaker. Why did you betray us? What was so important that you had to work with the Decepticons? You let Diesel and the others go out into space to get ambushed. Prime is still struggling to heal. I was tortured by Megatron because he knew I was close to you. He knew I was a weakness. So, Why? Why did you do it? And you better have a good fucking answer." Her arms still crossed, eyes staring down at him. Sunstreaker looked away from a moment. Then he looked back at her, a new look in his optics. One she didn't understand. 

"His name is Kup. He is like a sire to me and Sideswipe. He was taken prisoner by the Decepticons and they only way I was able to get him back was if I did some of their bidding. The first thing was tracking down Diesel. I got lucky when he tried calling for help when you were ambushed. I didn't know anything about you then. I had no idea who you were until the day you came to base. To hear that you two were partners, hurt my spark more than you know. But I needed to get Kup back. He was already weak before the Decepticons captured him and I had to do something. I couldn't just let him die." He paused catching his breath.

"The last thing was to get Optimus and Diesel out of the way. I never knew why. I was never told details. All I knew was I had to make sure they were out of the way. I didn't know anything about Megatron capturing you, up until that day I found you. I had spent days on end looking for you. We all did. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to you. It already killed me enough to know you were missing and I was the cause. I just know that once Megatron got what he wanted, he would release Kup. Now Ratchet and Jolt are doing everything than can to keep him alive. I'm sorry I lied to you. I'm sorry for losing you. I just hope you understand why I did what I did." His voice slowly got quiet. He looked way, unsure of what to say next. Hoping that his explanation was enough for her. It had been for Sideswipe. For he had no idea that Kup had been taken prisoner. 

Nichole stood in Diesels hand and began to pace. Her hand on her chin, other hand behind her back. Her eyes staring at the ground as she thought about everything she just heard. 

"You're going to create a hole in my servo." Diesel said sarcastically. 

"Oh, shut it. I'm trying to think." She snapped and kept walking. The twins stood waiting for her answer. Their patience running thin. Sideswipe opened his mouth to speak, but Nichole started before he could get a word out. 

"I need time to think. Diesel put me down please. I need to be alone." Sunstreaker felt his spark stop for a moment. Her words hurting, but he isn't about to say anything. He knows this is something probably tearing her apart inside. He watched as Diesel set his servo down on the ground and Nichole walk off. She continued to walk, not looking back. No one said anything until she was out of view. 

"Do you think she will ever forgive us?" Sideswipe is the one to speak. Sunstreaker is at a loss for words at the moment. Sideswipe looked up to Diesel, hoping for a positive answer. 

"That, boys, I don't know. She isn't very forgiving. She may let you in, but she may not ever forgive you. Unfortunately, she is now battling herself." They both looked at him in curiosity. 

"What do you mean?" Sunstreaker asked looking back at where Nichole once was. 

"She had been in similar situations before. So, she is battling with her inner self about what she should do. She wants to forgive you. She's had to do the same thing once. But at the same time, she still feels betrayed." Diesel explained, but really didn't give them an answer. 

"But what do you mean she's had to do the same thing before?" Sunstreaker pushed. He needs to know. 

"That will be something she has to tell you. It has a lot to do with her childhood." Sunstreaker groaned in response. Sideswipe put a servo on his brothers' shoulder, understanding his pain. 

"Give her some time. She'll come around. Just remember what she said to you when she woke up, Sunstreaker." Once said, Diesel head off. The twins slowly make their way down the hallway and into the hanger. The both stand there, looking around, not sure what they should do now. They have to wait until Nichole comes to them. 

"Let's go spar." Sideswipe suggested. 

"So, you can ruin my paint. I just got repainted." Sunstreaker whined. Sideswipe rolled his eyes at him. 

"Then what do you want to do?" Sunstreaker shrugged. 

"Let's go get some Energon. Maybe we will think of something on the way." Sideswipe ushered Sunstreaker into the rec room. The two make their way in. 

"Oh, look it's the traitor." Crosshairs yelled from across the room. "Just ignore him." Sideswipe growled pushing his brother over to the energon cubes. 

"I bet ya once Prime awakes, he's gonna send Sunstreaker to the brig. Or maybe something worse." Crosshairs said loud enough for everyone to hear. 

"That's it." Sunstreaker barked, smashing the Energon cube into the counter and turning quickly to his opponent. 

"Sunny!" Sideswipe tried to stop his angry twin. Before he could intervene more, Sunstreaker had crosshairs by the throat and pushed against the wall. 

"I know what I did hurt others, but I did it to save family. Maybe if you knew who Kup was, you would understand too." He slammed Crosshairs against the wall against. 

"Get this in your head. I am an Autobot and I will always be an Autobot." He let go and Crosshairs dropped to the ground, clutching his throat. 

"Prime may forgive you, but we never will" Crosshairs choked out. Sunstreaker's optics flashed red. Before Crosshairs could even think, Sunstreaker was beating him. 

"Sunny, get off of him." Sideswipe struggled to grab his brother. Ironhide and Jazz happen to walk in at the beginning of the fight. 

"Sunstreaker!" Ironhide shouts. Jazz and him quickly run to aid Sideswipe. Pulling the angered mech off an almost flattened Crosshairs. Drift who had been with Crosshairs, helped pick him off the ground and get him into a chair. 

"You will go to the brig if you don't knock it off. Your already on a thin rope." Ironhide screamed in Sunstreaker's face. Sunstreaker quickly calmed down, feeling a little guilty for what he had done. 

"And you. You probably deserved it. Leave Sunstreaker alone." He turned and screamed at Crosshairs who was getting his wounds tended to by Drift. Sunstreaker ripped his arm out of Ironhide and Jazz's grasps. Without acknowledging anyone, he stomped out of the room. Sideswipe not to far behind him. 

Nichole sits out in a grassy area outside the hanger. Well away from the other bots and soldiers. Her knees are bent into her chest and her arms are wrapped around them, holding them close. Her head is resting on the top of her knees. Her head is in the clouds, thinking over what Sunstreaker had said. Her eyes seemed to glaze over as she isn't focused on anything. It isn't until the earth begins to shake underneath her, that she snaps out of her daze. She lifts her head up and sees Diesel heading her way. Once next to her, he transforms and opens his door. There is no hesitation, she gets up and hops in, the door slamming behind her. 

"He loves you. You know. So, does Sideswipe. They want more than anything is for you to be happy. I know it will be hard, but I think you should forgive them. Now that they have had you, they will do anything to have you back." Diesel spoke. Nichole listening like her life depended on it. 

"When did you become to soft?" She asked. He knows all to well that she is joking. 

"I have always had a soft side. Especially when it comes to love." He laughed. 

"You wish." She silently laughed, her mood just starting to lighten up. 

"I'm going to need some time, Diesel." She started, looking out the window. 

"I know, and they know it too." He confirmed. The sun is now beginning to set. The day being a long one. 

"I think you need to sleep on it. You just woke up from being knocked out for a few days." She looked at his monitor. 

"Yeah your probably right." She agreed. Without another word, Diesel turned over his engine and drove back into the hanger. He drove to his berth room, that he was able to get. 

"Can you drop me off at the twin's room?" She asked in a whisper. He stopped in front of their room and opened the door for Nichole to get out. 

"Thank you" she said and knocked on the door. Diesel drove to his room, not worried about his Marine. 

Sideswipe is the one to open the door when they heard the faint knock. 

"Nichole." He said surprised. Sunstreaker ran over to the door to see if he heard correctly. 

"Can I come in?" 

"Of course," They said at the same time. She walked in, not looking up at them. She climbed up onto the giant nightstand and sat at the edge, waiting for the boys to sit as well. 

"I still need time, but I don't think I could go to sleep with out either of you." She said staring at the ground. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker looked at each other, neither knew what to say. 

"I don't like to ask, but do you guys think we could sleep together, and maybe you two in your holoforms." She looked at them, hoping she didn't say something wrong. Before she could say anything else, the boys were standing next to her. Sunstreaker pulled her to her feet, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her in. 

"Thank you." He whispered into her ear. Sideswipe wrapped himself around her as well, hiding his face in her neck. 

"Yes, thank you." Sideswipe whispered as well.


	19. What happened to you

The three lay together wrapped up into each other. She faces Sideswipe as Sunstreaker spoons her, skin on skin. As close together as they could be. Clothes scattered around the berth. Sideswipe has his arm underneath her head and other hand resting on her hip, looped under her panties. Sunstreaker has his arms wrapped around her torso, just under her breast, a thumb under her sports bra. Her face dug into the crook of Sideswipes neck, breathing softly against him. Her arms are huddled close to her body, one hand on Sunstreaker's hand and the other on Sideswipes arm, under her neck. Their legs tangled together like earbud headphone cords coming out of your pocket. Looking from the distance it probably looks very uncomfortable, but they were the coziest they could be. Nichole has never felt so safe. She hopes morning will never come. 

She is awoken by gentle kisses being laid across her shoulders and up her neck. The body behind her squeezing her close to him. One hand begins to caress the side of her body, feather like fingers trace up and down her side to her hip. He nips lightly at her earlobe, making her moan. 

"Sunstreaker." Her voice groggy, eyes still closed. "What are you doing?" 

He leans up a little to look at her. Caressing her cheek, tracing her scar. He doesn't say anything but continues to kiss her. She turns her head towards him and catches his lips. His hand comes up from her hip to her cheek. Holding her there, kissing harder with more passion. She takes her hand from Sideswipes arm and maneuvers to put her hand on the back of Sunstreaker's neck. She now lays on her back and Sideswipe hand slides to her lower stomach. Not stopping the two from making out. 

They stop when they hear a grunt come from the other twin. 

"I know your not starting without me." 

He gives a playful growl, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling himself closer to her. With his leg still wrapped around one of hers, he starts to kiss up her arm to her shoulder then onto her neck. Sunstreaker continues the session they had started. He brings his hand down to her breast and begins to message one. His brother removes he hand from her waist to trace the line of her panties, lightly slipping under. Making her shiver in pleasure. She begins to realize where this is going. Between the moans they were making, she couldn't wrap her head around it. Sideswipe bites down gently on her earlobe and pulls, making her forget her other thoughts. Sunstreaker kisses down her jaw and Sideswipe takes his place. Kissing her lighter, not as dominant as his twin. It is still just as passionate.  
She didn't know who to give attention too. Never having more than one partner. She didn't understand what to do. For none have never made love to her, like the twins were planning right now. This was a whole new sensation for her. No one has ever made her feel this good. No one has ever loved her the way these two are. The rest of their underwear now thrown across the room. Sunstreaker tried to keep it slow, make her know this isn't just a game. His eyes staring into hers, desire binding them together. His mind wanted to claim her hard and rough, but she needed to feel his need for her. He needed her to show his love for her, not with words. 

Before she is able to reach her peak, the twins switched. Sideswipe, who had finally realized he was in love with her too, needed to prove himself. He was much gentler than his brother. His hands didn't dig into her hips the way Sunstreaker had. Sideswipe let her feel every inch of him, while nuzzling his face in her neck. His hands gripping her soft skin. Moans and grunts reverberated around the room. All three wanted to end together. The three uniting into one being. The twins latched themselves to her neck, leaving their mark. Nails dug into skin as their climax is reached. Exhausted, panting to catch their breath, they lay cuddled up close together. 

"We love you, Nichole." The mechs said at the same time. 

"And I love you both." She whispered, trying to keep her eyes open. 

They stay laying in the berth, as comfortable as can be. 

"As much as I wish to lay here all day. I need to go shower." Nichole stated trying to get untangled from the twins. 

"No." Groaned Sunstreaker, wrapping his arm back around her and pulling her tight to his chest. 

"Sunstreaker. I smell. I need to shower." She hissed, trying to remove his strong arms from around her. He rolled on his back causing her to be on top of him. Her feet kicking in the air. 

"Let me go." She shouted. 

"Never" Sunstreaker grumbled, eyes still closed, attempting to go back to sleep. 

"Just stay here with us." This time Sideswipe spoke. He crawled over to her and lays across her stomach. Sunstreaker grunting from the weight. 

"Sides get off!" Sunstreaker heaved, trying to breath. 

"I'm keeping Nichole from leaving." Sides muttered. 

"I can't.... Breath." Nichole struggled to get out. "I just.... want...to shower." 

"How about we take one with you?" Sideswipe offered. 

"I don't need you two to shower with me." She argued. Sideswipe lifted himself off and moved so he is looking at her. She gave him a stern look. Her mind has no plan on changing. 

"Come on beautiful. We will make sure to get every inch of you clean." Sideswipe said lightly, using a silvery voice, mere centimeters away from her ear. His breath tickling her neck. Then he landed a few gentle kisses along her jaw. 

"Mmmm Sides stop." She moaned, leaning her head back, giving him more access. Her head comes to rest on Sunstreaker's shoulder, giving him direct access to her ear and he is quick to suck on it. 

"I don't think you two want to shower." She mumbled enjoying the attention she is getting. Sunstreaker lets out a sexy low muffled laugh, coming deep within his throat. 

Sideswipe captured her lips. He sats on his feet, bringing Nichole's head up, holding her in the kiss. "Hmph" Grunts Sunstreaker, who is unable to keep sucking on her ear. A mischievous smirk appeared on his lips, thinking about what he is going to do. He lets one hand graze gently down her torso, reaching for her bundle of nerves. She yelps in surprise as he begins rubbing circles. 

"Your right, sweet spark, we don't want to shower." He whispered in his husky voice. She lets out a moan as he continues. Sideswipe nips her lip, wanting the attention back. She is quickly to approve, biting his lip, sucking slowly, making him the one to moan. "No Stop." She pushed herself out of the pleasure and into the real world. She moved Sunstreaker's hand and pushed Sideswipe off. "I'm going to shower." She quickly puts her clothes on and makes her way out the door, not stopping to look back. 

"Ugh" Sideswipe grunted as he falls back on the berth. He fizzled on his boxers and adjusts himself. Sunstreaker does the same. Neither are very comfortable at the moment. 

"She couldn't stop before we got so far." Sideswipe complained. Sunstreaker glanced at him. 

"She probably did it on purpose." Sunstreaker concluded. 

"Let's get out of here and wait for her in the hanger." He added, fizzling out of existence. Sideswipe groaned but fizzles out too. Back into their bipedal modes, they feel comfortable again. The two make their way out of their room and into the hanger. Soldiers and Bots are busing themselves. Most avoid the twins as they walk in. Some have yet to accept Sunstreaker back. It would take awhile for him to prove himself. 

"Oh good. Your alive." Said Ironhide roughly. 

"Ratchet wants to see you both."

"Why?" asks Sideswipe.

"I think it's about Kup...." Before he can continue the twins are off. Running to the med bay. 

They struggle to get through the doorway when they both tried to go through at the same time. 

"Your going to scratch my paint!" Sunstreaker shouted. 

"Well get out of my way then." Sideswipe shouted back. 

"Will you knock it off and get in here." Ratchet blared over their quarrel. 

"Yes, Ratchet." They said together. 

They calmed down and were able to walk in without a hitch. Ratchet stood next to Kup, who was still laying on the hospital berth. Nothing looks as if anything has changed. He lay there, unmoving. 

"What did you call us in her for, doc?" Sideswipe asks, not taking his eyes of Kup. 

"Don't call me doc and I thought you would want to be here when I take him out of stasis." Their faces lit up at Ratchets words. "Just don't bombard him. He will need to adjust. He might try and fight with not knowing where he is." Ratchet warned. The two nodded, trying to wait for Ratchet to begin. 

The wait is slow, but they can see Kup's systems rebooting and starting to power up. Watching, waiting for some kind of movement. What they didn't expect was for Kup to take in a large breath of air, making his back lift up a few inches before slamming back down on the metal surface. He immediately began to cough. Trying to keep his gears inside his body. His optics slowly began to open, adjusting to the light in the room. His optics wondered around the room, looking for anything familiar. His optics caught the sight of the twins. Their smiles got wider as the see Kup looking at them.  
The world seemed to slow. Kup yelled a battle cry as he switched his arm into a blaster. 

"AUTOBOTS!" He screamed before he started to shoot. 

The sounds of war rang out throughout the base. Bots and soldiers yelling orders at each other. Ratchet Trying his hardest to subdue Kup, but to no avail. Kup was able to rip out the wiring that was hooked up to him. His shot hit Sunstreaker straight in the chest, just barely missing his spark, leaving a large hole in his chest. As Ratchet quickly went to attend to him and that's when Kup sprung loose. Running out of the medical bay, shooting anything that moves. For an old bot, he could move quickly and diligently. 

"Sunny!!!" Sideswipe screamed, holding his brother as energon bleeds down his chest and torso. 

"Sides..." Sunstreaker coughed out. 

"Don't talk." Ratchet ordered. 

"Nichole." He wheezed out. 

"Oh my god Nichole." Sideswipe could feel his brothers worry for their love. 

"Go!" Sunstreaker is able to scream, just before he passes out. Shouts for Ratchet come from out in the hallway. 

"Help me get him up here, quick!" Sideswipe hurried to help Ratchet. Ratchet does what he can for now, enough so he doesn't bleed out. 

"He will be stable for now, but I need to go help others. Go help." Sideswipe nods firmly and rushes out of the medical bay. 

The stench of blood hits his airways as he runs out. Soldiers bodies litter the floor, like a tornado had gone through. Grunts and groans, clashing of metal and blast are heard from in front of him. He transforms quickly to get through and find Nichole. As he gets into the hanger, he finds a gruesome sight. Ratchet soon catches up with him and gasps. He doesn't hold it to long, before he swiftly gets to work helping the injured. Ironhide and Jazz were in the middle of battle with Kup. Sideswipe fought with himself, who to help. His spark and the feeling of his brother's spark chose for him. He must find Nichole. 

"No, Diesel! I have to help!" Her voice rang through the violence. His head snapped in her direction to see Diesel trying to get ahold of her, while she is trying to help injured soldiers. 

"No, we need to go!" Diesel barked down at her. Just then a blast whizzed over her head. 

"Nichole!" Sideswipe roared, his alt speeding over. He transformed and turned to give them cover. 

"Nichole, go with Diesel. You need to get out of here." He ordered, keeping his eyes on Kup, who is still fighting with Ironhide and Jazz. 

"I am not leaving! I will not fail again." She screamed at the two worried Autobots. 

"This is not up for debate!" Diesel roared back at her as he tried to reach down and grab her. She swiftly dodged his servo, running to the next victim. She then began to move soldiers to a safer place, all while trying to get away from Sideswipe and Diesel. 

"Sunny wants you safe. Please go with Diesel." Sideswipe begged. 

"Sunstreaker! Where is he?" She whipped her head around to see a horrified look on Sideswipes face. Her stone grays demanding an answer. 

"We need to get you to safety." Diesel blocked a shot sent their way. More Autobots were fighting against Kup now. It shouldn't take long to get him down now. 

"Where is Sunstreaker?!?" She screamed again. Her stare holding with Sideswipes. 

"Kup shot him. He's in the med bay. He will be alright." He said quietly, but just loud enough that she could hear. 

Before they could say anything, she took off to the other side of the hanger. To the side the Medical bay was on. She is blocked before she can get there. Kup is being dug into the ground by Bumblebee. She falls backward, landing on her ass, coughing from the dust filling the room. When the air clears, she freezes, two large yellow optics are staring into her stony gray. Its as if time froze. His optics focus in on her. She can see a tinge of red lining the outside of his irises. 

"You." He growls in a low rough voice. 

She keeps her face emotionless, like she was out on the battlefield again. Its almost as Kup got some kind of energy surge, he stood up as if Bumblebee weighed nothing and shook him off. He didn't just let him go, he kicked Bee as hard as he could, making Bee fly to the other end of the hanger. Nichole does her best not to let out a gasp. Thinking Kup is occupied she gets up to run. Her goal set in mind, but before she can get to it, she is grabbed. Her breath shortens, the airways being crushed from the tight squeeze she is getting from the tainted Autobot. He brings her up to his face, looking over her, as if waiting for her to break. 

"NICHOLE!" Sideswipe and Diesel scream, aiming their weapons at Kup. Everyone stops. Sparks fly, and dust settles around them. No one makes a move; all eyes are on the girl in Kup's hand. The two stop a few steps away when Kup raises his other servo. Holding a blaster to Nichole's head. 

"No" Sideswipes servo reaches out to her, his optics wide, waiting for Kup's next move. 

"Don't move or I kill the girl?" he says through gritted teeth. 

"Kup, why are you doing this?" Sideswipe asked, staring at the mech he once called sire. The older mechs optics adjusted on the younger mech. Looking him up and down as if trying to remember who he was. 

"It's me, Sideswipe. Remember? You raised Sunny and I." Sideswipe took a step forward, his optics never leaving Kup's. 

"I never had any sparkling's. And if I did, I would never raise an Autobot scum." He spat, disgust showing on his face plate. The hurt is prominent on Sideswipes face, as if someone killed his brother. 

"Now I'm going to leave and none of you are going to stop me. If you try, she will die." His voice rang throughout the hanger. He stared down every individual left alive in the room. Sideswipe and Diesel were the first two to lay down their weapons. Followed by Ironhide and Jazz and slowly going down the line. 

"Good." He sneered, then walked out of the hanger bay. 

Kup's transformation to his alt mode was clunky and his gears grinded together. His alt being an old 1948 Ford F1. Rust fell off his frame as he transformed. Nichole sat strapped in the passenger side seat, seat belts wrapped around like a straight jacket. The bench seat she sits on has ripped up tan leather seats. The steering wheel is also torn, string from the inside hanging, dangling towards the floor. His light blue exterior paint is so faded it looks almost white. The rust spots along the edge of his fenders weren't helping either. His engine, though, is the only thing that doesn't sound old. It doesn't purr like a new engine would, but it doesn't grind together or struggle to drive forward. It must have been Ratchets work he had done on him. He speeds in and out of traffic, not paying attention to traffic signals. Cars honk and people shout at them as they go past. 

"Where are you taking me?" After an hour of driving, Nichole finally decided to speak. 

"Not your concern." Kup answered. 

"Why did you kidnap me?" Ignoring his comment, she continued. Holding her stare out the window, watching the scenery fly by. 

"That isn't your concern either." Annoyance heard in his voice. 

"Why are you attacking the Autobots, when you're an Autobot yourself?" The truck gave a low growl, clearly not liking her questions. 

"I was never an Autobot." He spat. 

"What happened to you? You were imprisoned by the Decepticons. Sunstreaker risked everything to save you. Including lying to his own twin. I know you don't believe that you were never an Autobot." She raises her voice, not caring that he is getting annoyed with her. Though, he doesn't answer. He continues to drive in silence. After a few more moments, Nichole speaks up again. 

"The Decepticons did something to you. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe told me all about you. They were so excited for you to wake up. How you didn't give two shits, but you knew your shit. You raised them like a dad would a child. Kept them out of trouble and you loved them." Her voice seemed to trail off as she spoke. Still no answer from Kup. The cap became eerie and silent. Nichole isn't sure what is going on through the old bot's mind. Just hopes that he is thinking over what she has said. 

*-------------------*

Ratchet has been working in overdrive to get the Autobots and humans back on track. Out of all the Autobots, Sunstreaker got the worse. The shot just missed his spark. It is going to take a few days for him to be healed and back on his feet. As of right now, he is in stasis until his wounds heal more. After watching Kup take off with Nichole, Sideswipe hasn't left his brothers side. 

"I'm so sorry Sunny. I tried. I tried. She wouldn't listen. Then I told her you were hurt, and she lost it. She ran. Kup took her before we could do anything. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Sideswipe cried, his head resting on his arms that rested on the berth. 

"This is the second time I lost her. What am I doing wrong?" He continued, the tears pooling on the metal berth. Sunstreaker's side of the bond is blocked, because of him being in medical stasis. Oh, how he wished he could feel his twin right now. Just to hear him talk would calm his nerves. 

"I have to go find her!" Sideswipe hears Diesel roar from the hanger. He quickly gets up and rushes to find out what is going on. 

"Diesel, we don't even know where he's going. We need to figure out a plan." Ironhide attempted to explain. 

"Diesel don't worry we will get her back. Please calm down." Lennox jumped in. 

"Calm down! You want me to calm down. She is my charge and Kup just walked out of here with her. Kup of all bots!" His voice echoed throughout the hanger. 

"We need to know what happened to Kup. The way he talked was as if he was never an Autobot. He didn't even recognize the twins. It doesn't make sense." Ironhide tried to change the subject. 

"I don't give a frag why Kup did it. I want to get her back." Which, in this case didn't work. 

"I'm going to go find her." He stated walking way, not caring what anyone is going to say. 

"Diesel, wait!" Lennox called out, running to catch up with the determined mech. 

"Do you know anything about a bright blue cylinder that was found in your tool bag? Megatron forced Nichole to go get it for him. Though she had no clue why." Diesel stopped in his tracks. He turned swiftly and looked at everybody. 

"Did she say anything about it glowing?" Diesel Knelt down, needing to know the answer. 

"Yeah she said it glowed when she touched it." Lennox looked at him, a little frightened. 

"That explains everything." The look of shock formed on his face. Everyone looked at him confused. 

"Why didn't anyone tell me about this sooner? This makes so much more sense." He started pacing up and down the hanger. 

"You gonna clue us in?" Ironhide barked. 

"It's called an Opposium Cylinder."

*-------------------------*

"Humph" Groaned Nichole as she landed on the dirt ground from being thrown out of Kup's cab. She slowly stood back up, rubbing her butt. 

"Was that necessary?" She complained. 

Kup transformed and glared down at her, not answering. They stopped in the middle of no where as night set in. Kup found an abandoned building to park for the night. The bot groaned and creaked as he moved. Nichole knew the bot probably hasn't had his joints oiled in a long time. Sunstreaker had told her how he had been imprisoned by the Decepticons for a few thousand years. The old bot probably needs a lot of work done. Instead of thoughts on what he could do to her or how she would get out alive, she thought about him and things she could do to make him more comfortable. She didn't care about her wellbeing, knowing that this mech is like a father to the twins she has feelings for, she wants to help him get back to them. 

"You don't realize what you are?" His voice surprised her as it echoed throughout the empty building. 

"What are you talking about?" She played dumb. She leaned against the wall, arms crossed, looking at the old bot, waiting for him to speak up. 

"You don't remember the odd things that happened to you while you grew up. Why you lived where you did. There is a reason you lived in the north. They we're trying to control you. They were trying to find others like you and still are. You were born to cause damage. Kill on a whim. Defy nature. You take pain and turn it into energy. The only thing that can make you mighty and strong. The only way to keep you weak is the cold. They know what you are and were going to sell you to the highest bidder when you were old enough. Running away destroyed their plan but didn't stop them from looking for more of you. They don't realize how rare you really are. It's a pity really. You will outlive any human you come across. You always will be alone." Kup explained. Her eyes widened at the information he told. 

"How do you know about my childhood?" She asked, backing up a little, her past was coming back for her. 

"They tried to suppress your urges. They kept you under lock and key. Your room always cold and even colder at night to make you pass out. They would do this to the others, wouldn't they? Keep them in below freezing temperatures. Most mornings they wouldn't wake up and who had to get rid of the body? They made you kill, the only way to keep you up to par, but not enough to make you stronger than them. You would do damage to yourself to keep yourself alive." His dermas curled into a cruel grin, knowing he hit it right on the spot. 

Her eyes couldn't get anymore wide as they now stared at the floor, memories from her childhood flooding into her mind. Pictures of the horror she had to go through. Pain and torture were all she knew as a child and the coldness. Freezing temperatures she lived in. Then there are the others that were put through the same, but never came out alive. 108, 108 the last time she read an article. 108 children missing, and she played a part in it. 

"Oh, sweetie it's okay. Look at you now. You're a ruthless killer, using your skills for good while in the military. You have grown so much. Aren't you happy with how your life turned out? You were able to leave the horror show and put yourself to good use. While others continue to die because you're such a one of a kind." He hissed, walking around her. A deep laugh came from his throat, he knows he hit a nerve. His old worn frame creaked as he circled her. 

"Unfortunately, you are about to become just another missing child." She turned to look at him, her eyes snapping to his. Just in time to see him raise his blaster. 

She dodged the first blast, running underneath him and out the door. Kup not to far behind her.


	20. I'm alive!

She ran as fast as her legs would take her. Weaving back and forth from the shots sent by Kup. He doesn't need to run to keep up with her. His large steps make up for the distance between them. Running wasn't hard for her, she has the endurance for it. Though, she isn't as fast as she used to be. Not being able to train or work out has done a number on her body. Then when she was captured by Megatron, she has yet to recover enough. But running from shots, is more of adrenaline than from actually wanting to run. Kup is getting closer. Each shot getting a little closer than the last. The twins were not wrong about him. He knows how to shoot. Now he is just toying with her as she weaves. She is not going to give in to him. So, she pushed herself to go faster. 

"I don't know why your running. You're only making it easier for me." A throaty chuckle escapes from his vocal cords. 

She makes no attempt to look behind her. It doesn't matter, she knows he's there. His footsteps shake the ground as he goes after her. Dust flies around her as she runs on the gravel road. There is nothing for miles, just trees and fields. She grits her teeth together, her hands clench into tighter fists as she pushes herself even harder. Through the blasts going off around her, she noticed something in the distance. As it got closer, the more of them she saw. 

"Please be real." She whispers as she ran. They start to form shapes, cars, fancy cars, Autobots. She notice one leading the pack. 

"He's back!" She let tears of joy leave her eyes and fly off her face. 

Before she can continue to celebrate, she tumbles to the ground. Kup finally gets a shot in, just before the Autobots get to her.

*-----------------------*

A light shines through the fog, shining down on her. She lets out a low groan, rubbing her head. On her hand and knees, she looks around her. The fog distorting the area round her. 

"Nichole" A disembodied voice calls out from above. She looks around, trying to find whoever said her name. 

"What the fuck? Where am I?" Her voice low, speaking to herself. 

"You are in between worlds." The same voice calls out again. 

Nichole's head whips around, trying to find it, but still sees nothing.

"What do you want with me?" Nichole shouts through the fog. 

"You want answers, I can give you them." Everything seems to go silent. The fog begins to recede and a large cybertronian stands in front of her, light shining off his armor. 

"Who are you?" 

"That does not matter. We are not here for me. We are here for you." Nichole gives a huff at the mechs answer, she stands, brushing dust off her pants, then crosses her arms, looks up at the mech, eyebrows waiting for him to continue.

"You're an ancient wonder. There used to be millions of your kind. Before the great war, Cybertron used your kind to keep enemy's in line. Many different planets and species used your kind. To fight their battles. Your kind was born for war. To kill and destroy. You listened to orders without question and are very loyal. Once you find your place, nothing can stop you. You will fight for what's right in your eyes. Kill without mercy. Your skills are beyond your years. When one of you dies, their skills are transferred to new born child. Now that child has skills of the past generations and will learn its own along the way. At least that is how it used to be. Any born now are lucky to get that kind of knowledge. As your ancestors began to die out, it became harder and harder for transfers to be completed. Your kind was created in war, when war becomes a distant memory, there is no need for you anymore. Slowly less and less were around. Now every once in a millennium one is born. Very rare to say the least." 

"But there is war now?" 

"Yes, but that doesn't mean your kind can just spring back to life. You're an endangered species. How can you make another one of you if there isn't a male to copulate with?" 

"I'm a female. If I get pregnant isn't there a good chance my child would turn out to be like me?"

"You get pregnant, you die. That is how most skills are transferred. From mothers dying during child birth. The fathers would carry on raising the child. Other ways are from dying of old age and a baby is born from the ashes."

"Like a phoenix?" 

"What is a phoenix?"

"It's a mythical bird. It regenerates itself by going up in flames and rising as a baby from the ashes."

"You're not a bird! So how could that happen?"

"That's what a phoenix does to reproduce. Idiot!"

"Oh well then yes, but your kind can reproduce in many different ways."

"So, if we can reproduce in different ways, how did we die out?"

"Because it's not always certain that a baby will be born from ashes when the time of war is over. From pregnancy the baby's may not always survive."

"How did I make it? How did I get here?"

"That is an answer I do not know. Like I said there are different way's your kind can reproduce. I do not know them all. I am going to assume your predecessor died and you raised from the ashes. You are one of the few lucky ones to rise and survive."

"But I had parents. No one told me I was adopted. I didn't think there was anything different about me. I was the same as any child. Except for the fact that my parents tortured me and any others."

"That is because they are not your real parents. You don't have real parents. Many of your kind were without parents or families. Because of your instinct to fight, you all stayed away from each other. Only coming together to reproduce. Until it came a fight to survive, then a child was lucky if born with parents. Even if it meant only being raised by the father. Your 'parents' found you and took you in. At first with good intentions, until they found out who you were."

"How did they find out?" 

"Upon realizing how much you were to handle and your urge to destroy anything in your path. They attempted to get help. Though help isn't what they got."

"What did they get?"

"They same thing that happened to Kup and the others."

"Others?"

"Kup isn't the only one to have his mind changed."

"So, there are others who were once good and got turned bad?"

"Yes, they got their minds changed."

"How?"

"The machine is called an Opposium Cylinder. When shot at someone, it makes the person think opposite of what they believe in. Turning them into something they told themselves they would never become."

"Can it be reversed? Maybe if we get it back and someone shoots it at Kup, he will go back to normal."

"It can be reversed, but only you can wield it to reverse what has been done."

"Why only me? if someone can cause the damage with it in the first place, why can't they change it as well? Why would anyone make such a machine anyway?"

"It is an old Cybertronian relic. Forged to turn the tides of war. Make peace among those fighting against them. When it was being forged, your kind was helping and when the reverse was added, the 13 primes wanted a way for it to be nearly un reversable. Your kind was in the beginning of dying out, so knowing that if the machine was used for good, other traitorous beings couldn't use you to undo what was done."

"But Megatron was able to get ahold of it and he is using it against us."

"You never knew this, but your partner is older than he looks. He is keeper of the relic. Ordered to guard it with his life, but once he met you and learned what you are, his orders changed. He has been guarding it since the last of the thirteen primes became deceased. It had been powered down and the only to power it back up again is for one like you to touch it. That is why Megatron needed you. Diesel is kept in charge of making sure you are safe and not used. Unfortunately, with what has happened, it became very difficult for him. After the battle he lost track of it. Keeping you safe became a larger priority."

"So that's why he is always trying to keep me away from battle. But Megatron told me I was supposed to die the day he ambushed us overseas. If he needed me, why was he trying to kill me?"

"He had no idea then, until he was able to find more information. Your use to him is finished, so he has no need for you anymore and he doesn't want you interfering with his plan."

"I need to get that cylinder. I need to change Kup back and any others that have been effected."

"For a war species, you sure care about others." The smirk from the mech could be heard when he spoke this.

"I could care less. I just know it will make the twins happy and Diesel, if I do the right thing." Nichole shrugs, looking into the distance. 

"You have found your place. Good luck, Nichole." The voice slowly disappears and the world around her began to fade away. 

*------------------------*

Nichole lays on a medical table not to far away from Sunstreaker. Both have yet to wake from the blast they have endured from Kup. Sideswipe and Diesel haven't been able to do anything properly since getting back to base with Nichole. Sideswipe carried her limp body into the medical bay, praying to Primus, Ratchet can fix them both. Knowing that Megatron has the cylinder, makes it harder for Diesel to rest. "I've failed you, Nichole." Diesel's head hangs low, face covered with his servos. "I let Megatron get the cylinder and let Megatron get you. What kind of guardian am I." Small energon tears drip to the floor. "I'm so sorry." 

Sideswipe sat in between his two healing loves. Feeling just as bad as Diesel. He can't stop himself from watching the older guardian cry his optics out. Feeling the same kind of weight on his shoulders. His optics went to Nichole to Sunstreaker, back to Nichole. He then went to his holoform, standing close to her, caressing her cheek. He leans down and leaves a gently kiss on her forehead.   
Her eyes snap open, connecting with Sideswipes. She pants heavily, clutching her chest. Her eyes wide as she sits up, inspecting her body. "I'm alive." She whispers.

She looks back at Sideswipe and jumps into his arms. "Sideswipe!" 

He happily holds her close. Tears draining from his eyes. "Nichole. Your alive." He whispers as he leaves kisses up her neck to her cheek, until he reaches her lips. 

"Sides...Sides...I...need...to...breath." She pants in between kisses. 

"I'm sorry. I've just been so lost without you two. Its all my fault that you got taken. You almost died. Diesel an I haven't been able to think straight." He leans his forehead against hers, hands gripping her tight. 

"Where is Diesel?" She asks, leaning back a bit. 

"Right here." His voice cracks as he looks down at her. He kneels and wipes a tear from his optic. 

"You weren't crying, were you?" she jokes. 

"Of course not." He smiles, just happy that she is alive. 

"You totally were. Now where is Sunstreaker?" She seems to have forgotten what had happened to her first love. 

"You don't remember?" Sideswipe looks at her in confusion for a moment. 

"Remember what?" She paused, scrunching her face, thinking. 

"Sunstreaker!" Her eyes widen as she shrieks out his name. 

"Where is he?" She screeches shivering, waiting for Sideswipe to answer. All Sideswipe could do was point up at the larger berth next to them. 

"Take me to him." She orders. 

Sideswipe's holoform dissolved and once in bipedal mode, he picked her up and gave her a view of Sunstreaker. 

"Sunstreaker." She gasps.

"Kup did this?" She questions turning to Sideswipe. All Sideswipe can do is nod with a pained look on his face plate. 

"Can you set me down next to him?" She asks with a sniffle. 

Sideswipe gently sets her down on his golden twin. She immediately crawls to the incision scar. On her hands and knees, she traces the welded marks along his torso, leading up near his spark casing. She can just barely hear the low hum of his spark. She lays down on her stomach and lays her head down against his casing. His warm chest heating up her ear as she listened closely. A small pool of tears pools down onto his golden torso. 

"Come back to me, Sunstreaker." She whispers, laying a small kiss just over his spark. 

The room silent around the two, no one daring to interrupt. After a few moments she gets up and crawls up to his helm. With shaking fingers, she lightly caresses his cheek. 

"Oh Sunstreaker. If only I had been here." She says quietly, looking over his beautiful features. Silent tears rain as she struggles to breath. 

A groan leaks from Sunstreaker's vocal box. Nichole pops up, standing on the berth, both hands on his cheek, looking at his eyes. Waiting for them to open up. Sunstreaker makes another moan and brings his arm up to his helm. 

"Ah!" Nichole shouts as his shoulder almost crushes her between his neck. 

She is quick to jump back up on his chest. She turns to watch him. Sideswipe and Diesel attention trained on Sunstreaker as well. 

"Nichole!" He shouts when he hears her shriek. His optics snap wide open and he jolts up to a sitting position, looking around until he sees a figure sliding down his chest. Quickly putting a servo under her, he catches her before she fell down to his hips. He brings his servo up, so he can see her better. His optics focus on her and a wide smile comes to his face. She brings her hands folded up to her face, bouncing excitedly in his servo. Before he can speak, he breaks into a fit of coughs. Making him lay back down. Her face falls fast, watching her mech struggle. She hops back up to his helm, caressing his cheek again. Sideswipe stands up, trying to find a way to help his brother. 

"Sunny, breath. I'll go get Ratchet." Sideswipe says with some calmness. 

Sideswipe leaves the room to look for Ratchet. Nichole continues to caress Sunstreaker's cheek. The coughs die down and he attempts to speak again. 

"Shhhh, babe. Its okay, I'm here and I'm fine." She lays a gentle kiss to his cheek, bringing a smile to his face. 

His head turns to be able to see her better. "Kup didn't hurt you, did he?" His husky voice came out a little rough as he spoke. 

"No, he didn't hurt me." She lies, not wanting to upset him. 

"Nichole." Diesel warns. She snaps him a glare, telling him to say nothing. He sits back down, putting his hands up in defense, getting the idea. 

"Nichole you should not be out of bed. You need to be resting as well." Ratchet scolds the minute he walks into the room. He doesn't hesitate to pluck her off of Sunstreaker and setting her back down on the hospital bed she had woken up on before. 

"Why...(cough)...should she be resting? Nichole...(Cough Cough) I though you said you were (Cough) okay." Sunstreaker tries hard not to cough in between sentences. He tries to look down at her, but Ratchet got in the way, pushing him back down, running scans on him. 

"I am okay." She defends. 

"You were just shot almost twelve hours ago, you are not okay until I say your okay." Ratchet barks down to her. 

She waves her arms at him to trying and get him to stop but ends up slapping her forehead once Ratchet spilled the beans. 

"You were What?!?" Sunstreaker sits up abruptly, optics wide with worry. 

"Lay back down." Ratchet orders pushing the frontliner down again. 

"Why did you lie to me?" He asks trying to sit up again, only to be pushed down for a third time. 

"I didn't want to worry you." Nichole said fidgeting with her fingers. 

"Who shot you? I'm going to kill em." Sunstreaker growls. 

"No, you're not." Sideswipe stepps in. 

"Why the frag not? Why the frag haven't you killed them yet?" Now Sunstreaker's anger was getting pointed towards his twin. 

"Because it was Kup." Sideswipe stands leaning against the wall, arms crossed as he explains his brother. He watches as his twins face went from angry to sad in a matter of seconds. The battle going on in his mind could be seen as his optics kept going back and forth. 

"Where is Kup?" After a few silent moments, Sunstreaker finally asks. 

"He's in the brig for now until we can come up with a plan to change him back." Sunstreaker gives Sides a confused look. 

"I'll let Nichole and Diesel explain." The twins look over at Diesel and Nichole. 

"Don't talk about it now, I don't need either of you to get worked up." Ratchet intervenes. Nichole gives an annoyed growl and crosses her arms angerly. 

"I don't care if you like it or not." And with that Ratchet left the room. The minute Nichole couldn't see Ratchet she yells out Sideswipe to put her up with Sunstreaker. Which he happily agrees too. 

"How did you guys find me?" She sits cross-legged on top of Sunstreaker's chest. 

"That is a good story." Diesel pipes up. She gives Diesel a 'what the fuck' look and all he does is chuckle. "After everything here calmed down a bit...." 

"Meaning he calmed down." Sideswipe whispers to Nichole, who ties to stifle her laugh. 

"Lennox told me what Megatron made you get. Now everything with Kup makes sense. He was shot with..." 

"The opposium Cylinder." Nichole finishes his sentence. 

"How do you know?" He gives her a watchful eye. 

"When I got blasted by Kup, I didn't die. It was like I was sent to another dimension. A cybertronian met me and told me all about it. I never got his name though and it was very hard to tell who he was with all the fog." She explains. 

"We will have to talk about that later. Anyway, we were getting ready to start searching for you when..." Diesel is cut off by the door to the medical bay open. 

"Nichole, Sunstreaker, it is good to see you two awake." The large defined Autobot leader walks into the room. Nichole and Sunstreaker can't help but look at him in shock. For the last time they saw him he was in stasis in the med bay.


	21. Time to battle

"Optimus!" The two shouted at the same time. 

"How are you both feeling?" He walks to the edge of Sunstreaker's berth, optics set on the two. 

"Better now." Sunstreaker stated, optics glancing at Nichole. 

"How are you feeling, Optimus?" Nichole asked. 

"I am doing well, Nichole. Thank you for asking." He gave her a light smile. Something the leader rarely does. 

"It's a good thing he woke up when he did. Otherwise we might not have been able to find you, Nichole." Diesel stood next to Optimus, Sideswipe next to his brother. 

"How did you find me?" All eyes are now on Optimus. 

"Primus told me right before I woke up, where you were, who had you and that the Opposium Cylinder is in the wrong hands." Prime explained. 

"So, you knew about it too?" She couldn't help but ask. 

"No, I did not until now. I still do not know much about it, just that we need to find it. And I know where it is." A tone Nichole recognized played in his voice. If he wasn't so disciplined, he might have smirked. 

"Lets go get it!" Nichole jumped up, ready to get Kup back to normal. 

"Woah woah." Diesel hollered at her. 

"What now?" She whined. 

"You are not in any shape to go out and fight Decepticons." Diesel pointed out, making her pout. 

As she was about to speak up for herself, Sunstreaker cut her off. "You're not fighting Decepticons at all. I will not let you out of my sight ever again. I will not let you get hurt again. So, don't even think for a second, I will just let you waltz out of here and go battle. Frag No!" 

"Sunstreaker, I need to go with. I don't care what any of you say. I'm the only one that can reverse its effects." Her eyes glanced up at Optimus. "You know this don't you?" She asked with curiosity. 

All optics landed on Optimus. 

"That is correct." Diesel and Sunstreaker's mouths dropped and the three immediately started yelling at the Prime. 

"It isn't up for debate. She must come with." His baritone voice spoke above the three. 

"Then I need to go too." Sunstreaker started to struggle, trying to get off the berth. 

"Sunny, you heard Ratchet, you're not up to par yet." Sideswipe pushed his brother back down. 

"I'm not letting her go alone." 

"She won't be alone. Diesel and I will be with her." Argued Sideswipe. 

"When do we leave?" Nichole asked walking down Sunstreaker and closer to Optimus. 

"At dawn. Lennox and the others are getting everything ready to depart in the morning." 

"I'll go help." She jumped down, not letting the others speak anymore. She walked out of the room, not looking back. 

"Optimus, you can't be serious. She was just shot, she isn't ready for this." Diesel huffed. 

"Diesel, you know, just as much as I do. We need her. We do not know how many others Megatron has used the cylinder on. She is the only one who can wield it." Diesel looked down, thinking over his words. 

"Fine, but she stays with me. I am her guardian and so far, I have been doing a crappy job of it." Optimus nodded at his words, knowing how much the girl means to Diesel. With that the leader left the room. Diesel got ready to step out but was stopped. 

"Diesel why is she the only one who can wield the cylinder?" Sunstreaker's voice went soft. 

Diesel let out a sigh before turning back to the twins to explain. "She isn't a normal human." 

"What do you mean she isn't a normal human?" Spat Sunstreaker. 

"If you wouldn't interrupt me, I will tell you." Growled Diesel, making Sunstreaker sink down. 

"Like I started with, she isn't a normal human. She's isn't technically human at all. She comes from an ancient species that has been said to be extinct. Her species was born for war. To kill and destroy. There used to be millions of her kind. Before the great war, Cybertron used her kind to keep enemy's in line. Many different planets and species used her kind. To fight their battles. They were very loyal. Once they have place, nothing can stop them. They will fight for what they are bred to think is right. Kill without mercy. As wars died out, her kind began to die out. They aren't needed if there is not war or fighting. Slowly less and less were around. Now every once in a millennium one is born. Most never make it past infants." He paused, making sure the two are following. 

"But there weren't any around for our war. At least I haven't met or seen any." Sunstreaker wondered. Sideswipe nodded in agreement. 

"Once they began to go extinct, we were at a time of peace. Most planets were in a time of peace. There could be more out there, but its very rare now to run into one. They vanished from Cybertron long before our war started. It's like any species that is going extinct, they don't just come back like a snap of a finger. I had only been told stories about them, until I met Nichole." He paused again, memories flooding from his memory bank. "She is special. She needs to be protected. When I became guardian of the Opposium Cylinder, that was my duty. I had to keep it safe and away from any enemies at all time. I met Nichole and my duty changed. Now she is my sole priority. I still should have made sure to protect the Cylinder, but after the battle, I had no choices. There was nothing I could do." 

"It wasn't your fault." Sideswipe spoke. 

"No, but I could have been able to stop it." Guilt had been holding up in Diesel since the battle, unable to relieve the stress from that day. 

"No." Sunstreaker raised his voice, looking away from them. "It's my fault. Megatron was only there because I knew you were there, but I knew nothing about Nichole or this Cylinder. Either way it will always be my fault. Now she has to go back and get the stupid thing. What have I done?" His helm in his servos, trying not to scream at himself. 

"It doesn't matter now. Its all in the past. Now we just need to get out of this alive and destroy that cylinder." Diesel took one more look at Sunstreaker and then left the room.

"You should go help." Sideswipe looked at his twin in surprise. 

"No, they don't need me until morning. I'm staying here." He countered. 

"You need to make sure Nichole is covered. You better have the bond open. I need to know what is going on." For the first time in his life, he pleaded to his brother. "That is our girl out there and she needs to know that one of us is there for her." 

"You are there for her. We are there for her. Diesel and I will have her covered and you will know everything that is happening, unless it gets bad. Then I will shut off the bond. I don't need you in anymore pain than you already are." Sideswipe took a seat next to the berth resting his elbows on his knees. 

"I can't lose her, Sides." Sunstreaker's voice is just above a whisper. If Sideswipe hadn't been listening, he would have never heard him. 

"You won't. We won't. As soon as this is all over, we are all going on a nice vacation. Just the three of us. I think we need it." Sunstreaker chuckled at his brothers' statement, but he agrees, a vacation is something they defiantly need. 

Out in the hanger, the rest of the Autobots and the NEST soldiers are getting ready for the morning flight. Optimus is coordinating with Lennox, Nichole and Diesel, going over the plan for tomorrow. Making sure they are all on the same page. There will be nothing stopping Nichole from achieving this mission. She has imprinted her goal into her skull. She is doing this for her boys, for Kup, and for the kids she was unable to save. She maybe a soulless killer, but Sunstreaker as brought some of her heart to life. Helping her to realize more than she ever thought possible. 

"Alright, weapons and ammo are ready to go." Epps said as he climbed two steps at a time to the top of the catwalk.

"Good, made sure we have all the infrareds?" Lennox asks. 

"We are ready to go." Epps concluded. 

"Good, we got the plan. We leave at the first light." Lennox paused looking over at Nichole and Optimus. 

"Now, Optimus, you sure this will work?" 

"Of course, it will work, I'm part of the plan." Nichole sassed. Lennox and Epps couldn't stop the eyerolls they completed. 

"We need to make sure you stay alive and focused on the target. As soon as you get that Cylinder you better be out of there. Who knows what Megatron and his goons are up to in there." Lennox stated. 

"Yeah yeah. Its not like I've never been on mission impossible before. I don't need to protected as much as you think I do. I'm not a child like that Sam kid I heard about." Her arms crossed as she leaned against the railing. 

"No, but you have also been out of training for a year." 

"Has it really been that long already?" She asked mockingly. "Either way, I don't know if anyone has filled you in, I'm not a normal human." She walked up to Lennox, squaring up to him. 

"I knew that the moment I met you." 

She scoffed at him. "Its not a joke. I'm a trained killer yes, but I'm also a rare species that was bred to kill and destroy. I don't need all this protection that everyone seems to think I need. I don't die that easily. If anything, I'm like a cat with nine fucking lives. Diesel will get me in, and Diesel will get me out. Worry about protecting your crew." She growled the last few words as a warning. Not taking any chances. 

"After all this time, you still don't trust us." Lennox stabbed at her. 

"And you don't know me at all." She sneered. 

That was it and she left. Tomorrow is a big day for them all. Instead of walking to her quarters, she headed to the med bay. 

"Nichole, you need to get some sleep before bed." Diesel called after her. 

"I know. I'm going to sleep with Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. I'll see you in the morning." She yelled back to him, her feet never slowing. Sunstreaker is already passed out when she walks in. Sideswipe was almost asleep, until he heard the door open and small foot steps stalk in. 

"Sorry, Sideswipe. I didn't mean to wake you." She whispered. Sideswipe didn't answer right away, first picking her up and setting her on top if Sunstreaker. 

"It's okay. I was wondering when you were going to come back." 

"How did you know I was going to come back?" He raised an eyebrow at her. 

"Call it a hunch." She nodded, impressed with Sides lingo. 

"When did he go to sleep?" She said softly, laying down over Sunstreaker's spark. 

"Not to long ago. You should probably get some rest too." Sideswipe suggested. 

"Yeah your probably right. I wish we could all lay together." She said with a yawn. 

"You should go get a proper recharge." 

"I can't, I need to stay here." Sides defended.

"Sides, he's not going anywhere and I'm here. Please...for us." Sideswipe gave a groan, not willing to give in. "Sideswipe, we have a long day tomorrow, I need you on top of your game. Go to bed." This time it wasn't a suggestion, it is an order. 

"Fine..." He got up, ready to leave, but before leaving, "I love you...I love you both very much." 

"I love you and he loves you too." She whispered back, laying her head down against the golden twins' chest. Sideswipe stood by the door, watching both for a moment, before leaving the room.

Nichole got up the moment Ratchet stalked into the medical bay to check on Sunstreaker at four in the morning. There are still two hours until the sun would begin to rise. She gave Sunstreaker a kiss on the cheek before leaving the bay and going to changed and set up for the battle. Other soldiers moved quickly to get things loaded up on the planes they would be taking. She takes large steps to make it quickly get to her barracks room. After a quick shower to help get her hair up in a French braid, then she gets on her old uniform. She will stand out like a sore thumb, but that isn't going to stop her from going all out for the team. Her plan is to kill whoever gets in her way, get her target and get out of there as quickly as possible. 

She tightened her boot laces, wrapping them tightly around her ankle. Tucking the left-over laces into her boot. She takes the bottom of her cammie bottoms and tucked them into a boot band on each ankle. She watches herself in the mirror as she buttons up the three small buttons her old desert tan blouse. She tucks the shirt deep into her trousers and tightens her belt. Once more look over and she is ready for battle. Her scar seemed to shine in the light. A part of her could still feel the sting from the force of the sword ripping through her face. She isn't going to let it stop her.

"You two ladies ready?" She smirked walking up to Diesel and Sideswipe. Diesel rolled his eyes at her, while Sideswipe isn't in the mood for such silliness. His arms are crossed, and face contorted in anger. 

"Sideswipe, what's wrong? Your usually so bubbly." She asked sincerely, looking up at the red twin. 

"You know what's wrong." He growled down to her, but not looking at her. 

"Sideswipe we talked about this. You know that I am the only one who can fix Kup and who knows who else. Can you please look at me?" He seemed shocked for a moment from her politeness that he had to look down at her. He knelt down close to her level, looking straight into her stony grays. "You and Sunstreaker have the same optics, but they show your different own personalities. Absolutely beautiful." Her hands pressing against his cheeks. He couldn't stop the blush heating up in his cheeks.

"Stop trying to flatter me so early in the morning. I'm trying to stay mad at you." He breathed out, calming his rapid beating spark. She gave him a smile, a small one, but it is still a smile. 

"I know you don't want me to go, but I am needed. I have a mission to complete. You and I should know something about that." His optics closed for few seconds, leaning his forehead lightly against hers, making her close her eyes too. 

"I promise to keep you safe. I promised Sunny, I promise myself. I won't let anything hurt you even if it's giving my own life." Her eyes snapped open and she moved away. Her eyes narrowed in on his. 

"You will not give your life for mine. I will not allow that. My life is not worth wasting yours for." The anger for her, that melted away, quickly came back at her words.

"I never want to hear you say that again." With those last words, Sideswipe stood and walked to the other end of the hanger. 

"Having a sparkmate sucks, don't it?" She brushed her fingers over her face, then looked at Diesel. 

"We aren't sparkmates. Why does everyone keep saying that?" She growled. 

Diesel looked confused before asking, "Wait they haven't asked you yet?"

"No. Why would they ask me? I don't want to do that to them, then I die or something. I don't need them any more broken than they already are." She said sadly. 

"Those boys are head over heels for you. Wouldn't this be the right time to merge with them? Your about to save the world, what if you don't come back." 

"That's why I don't want too. Encase I die. Why is this so important to you?" 

"They love you! That is how we Cybertronian show our love. Show that the person we care most about that we would die without them. Its an unbreakable bond. Feel what they feel. Hear their thoughts, help them when they don't know what to do. Always be there for them, even when you're not actually there. To feel their spark beat right next to yours." Diesel stopped with a sigh. His shoulders shrugged forward. Closing his eyes and shaking his head. 

"I didn't know you felt so hard about this." She looked at her feet, unsure what to say next. 

"Yeah I do." He all but shouted back at her. 

"Did you lose your sparkmate?" She whispered, unsure she wanted to know the answer. 

"A long time ago. Way before I came to Earth." He hid his optics behind his servo. Nichole set a comforting hand on his foot, looking up at him with warmness she only held for him. 

"I'm sorry, Diesel. I realize it is important, but I am not ready to merge with them just yet." He nodded his head at her comment. Then the two walked in silence to the rest of the crew. Time to load is coming upon them. 

"Autobots and humans. Another relic from our past is being used against us and Earth. We are going on a mission deep in the mountains to take it back from our enemy...from the Decepticons. Our mission is to keep the way open for Nichole to get threw and capture the device. She must get to the Cylinder. We must keep her protected. Soon we will be able to bring back the right minds of those who have lost theirs. Autobots...Humans...Let's Roll Out!" Optimus baritone voice echoed throughout the hanger and it ended with a loud battle cry from everyone. 

The Autobots transformed into vehicle mode. Sideswipe pulled up next to Nichole and opened his driver side door. 

"Oh, can I drive?" Her eyes lit up in excitement, but it was soon extinguished at the short no sideswipe. She sat down in his seat with a grumpy look on her face and her arms crossed. She set her weapons on the passenger seat. 

Nichole clutched to the seat as they flew. Sideswipe kept the seat belt tight around her, smelling her fear. "Nichole, you can relax." He grunted out of the radio. 

"Oh, sorry." She immediately released her whitened hands from his armrest. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Yeah I'm fine. Just not big on flying." She said quietly. She felt the seat belt tighten a little more in a comforting way and her seat seemed to warm. 

"I wish there was more I could do." 

She couldn't stop the smile forming on her face. She rested her hands on his steering wheel, rubbing slightly. "Just being with me is enough." She whispers. 

"Nope! Nope!" Nichole screams backing away from the open end of the plane. 

"Nichole you have to jump." Lennox yells back at her, trying to get her to put on the parashot pack. 

"I am not jumping out of this plane." She shouts grabbing onto anything close to her.

"Nichole get in and we can jump together." Sideswipe walks forward, bringing his servo closer to her. 

"Fuck no!" That is not the right answer.

Sideswipe wasn't going to take no for an answer this time. He reached forward and grabbed her quickly, before she could squirm away. Next thing she knew they were plummeting towards Earth. Her screams could be heard from the plane and down below. 

Sideswipe released the parashot and they began a slow descent. "See its not that bad." He smirks at her. 

She sends him a panting glare and a silent I hate you. He holds her tight as they make their landing and then he transforms around her, driving to where the others are. The quick ride was silent, but a deadly one. Nichole held her rifle close to her, her pistol attached to her leg. Magazines are in mag pouches attached to her flak. She is ready for battle. They meet with the rest and she jumps out of Sideswipe and heads to the middle of the group. 

"She didn't want to jump." Diesel said more as a statement than a question. 

"No, she fought the whole way." Sideswipe complained. 

"Yeah she hates flying and hates jumping out of planes even more. She won't do it unless she absolutely has too, but she will fight it the whole way." Diesel chuckled. 

"Why doesn't she like it?" 

"It's a normal fear for her kind. They fight from the ground, not the sky. Some are worse than others, but Nichole has it bad." He said with a shrug, like it was the most normal thing around.

"Of course." Sideswipe said sarcastically. i

"Autobots get into positions, it is time to make our trek into the mountains." Optimus's voice boomed over everyone, claiming their full attention. All the Autobots transformed and soldiers got into their respected bots, ready to make the trip. Optimus led the way into the valley in between the mountains. No one knows what will be inside waiting for them. Not even Optimus.


	22. A new beginning to a beautifull end

The bots stood back, hiding themselves behind some large boulders. All staring at a large opening to a cave. 

"That's where they are, Prime?" Lennox asks in a whisper, leaning around the boulder to get a better look. 

"Yes. You humans stay here until we can make sure the coast is clear. Diesel stay with Nichole and when I give the order, get her inside." Optimus gives the order and the bots creep their way to the cave entrance.

A nod came from Lennox, Nichole and Diesel, understanding the plan. The soldiers watch the bots get close. Besides the wind, the area is silent. No sound is made other than the light footsteps of the bots closing in on the entrance. 

The unsheathing of Primes sword echoed throughout the valley and that's when all hell broke loose. Ravage jumped clear out of the cave, plowing straight into the Prime. Both growling, one from anger the other from the impact. Prime is able to tear the mechanic panther off, throwing it across the valley. Quickly looking for another victim, Ravage went after the next closest bot. Decepticons began to run out of the cave, attacking the ready Autobots. 

The battle is now in full swing. Though it wasn't until Megatron decided to come out that it became a party. Optimus immediately noticed as he took out another con.

"MEGATRON!" He scorned, pointing his sword at the Decepticon leader. 

"Optimus Prime, I hope you are enjoying the welcome party I planned for you." Clashing of metal echoed throughout the valley, pausing the fight. 

"Let's get you in there." Diesel whispered to Nichole. She nodded, and they began to sneak around as the battle began again. Diesel kept out of the others way, making sure to keep Nichole hidden as much as possible. As soon as she saw the entrance to the cave, she sprinted. That was until two large feet landed in front of her, causing the ground to shake, sending her to the ground. 

"Where do you think your going?" The large seeker bellowed down to her. 

Fear is the last thing going through her mind at this very moment. Before she could do anything, Diesel charged into Starscream, sending him to the ground. This gave Nichole her chance, but again she became blocked as Starscream slammed his hand on the ground in front of her, almost flattening her. He stood attempting to grab the Marine trying to slip past. This time, before he could grab her, she was grabbed by someone else first. Diesel took the initiative to attack Starscream again. 

"Where the fuck am I?" She shouted from the dark space she was shoved into.

"You're in my subspace. You will be safe in here." It is Sideswipes voice, but she couldn't tell where it was coming from. 

"Sideswipe. You need to let me out." Her shout muffled from being stuffed in his subspace. 

"No, its to dangerous." He grunted, taking another hit at a con. 

"I need to get to the cylinder." Her hand felt around in the dark space, trying to find a way out.

"I promised to keep you safe." Anger rising in his throat. Though not sure who he is mad at more. 

"Sideswipe, I can fix this!" She cried out. 

"I can't lose you!" He growled as he took another swipe at the con, slicing right through it. 

She stumbled from his sudden movements. The next one caused her to tumble back and slip through an opening she wasn't supposed to find. An opening that Sideswipe didn't know is there. She tumbled until she collided with a thin pane of glass, protecting a glowing blue ball of light. Tendrils are hitting the glass, trying to get to her. She jumped back in surprise, unsure what it is or what to do. 

"Sideswipe!!" She shouted, hoping the mech could hear her. 

"Nichole!" He felt the ping of her hitting the glass. 

"How did you get into my spark chamber?" He cried out, the tendrils desperately trying to get to her, causing him some stabbing pain. 

"This is your spark?" She asked in amazement. She had yet to be this close to one. 

"Yes...how did you get in...there?" He grunted. 

"I don't know. I was moving around, then you moved, and I fell through a hole. Now here I am." 

"Well get out?!?" 

"I don't know how." 

"IF you don't get out now, my chamber will open." 

"Why?" Fear coursed through her at those words. She didn't know what would happen if she touched his spark, but she had a good idea of what might. That was not something she wanted to happen just yet.

Sideswipe rushed to find cover, hoping to remove Nichole from the sensitive area. He began to slowly open up the chamber, hoping to catch the girl before she fell in. He leaned against the wall, feeling every little move she makes, trying to get away from his spark. 

"Stop moving" He growls at her. 

She instantly freezes, too scared to make another move. His breath begins to shorten, and condensation begins to rise. His cooling fans turned on high now. The instant his chamber opened barely a centimeter, tendrils from his spark shot out, reaching for what it wants most. 

"AHH" Sideswipe shouts in pain and pleasure as the tendrils hit its mark. 

"Sideswipe, what is going on?" Nichole screams as the tendrils wrap around her body, incasing her. They bring her closer to the core, wrapping ever so gently, sending emotions, memories through her mind. Her heart seems to stop beating for a short moment as his spark merges with her heart. 

"Sideswipe" She whimpered. 

Sunstreaker is woken by a jolt to his spark. He sits up rapidly holding tight to his chest. He feels his brothers' emotions going out of place. The reaching for something. The pleasure and pain building then releasing into another entity and he knew exactly who the entity is. 

"Nichole" He whined. 

He can feel the merge as if he was with them. Though while Sideswipe is getting the real deal, he can only feel half of it. He can feel a new strength and passion bleed into his body from his twin, enough to be able to get him off this berth. He slowly sat up into a sitting position and attempted to stand. After realizing he is stable on his feet, he started to walk out of the medical bay. That was until a slight ping of shock coursed through him, he looked down at his chest, the weld mark lit up and slowly erased itself from his frame. A smile grew on his faceplate, but quickly left as he felt another wave of pain hit him like a bullet. Red flashed in his optics and he transformed. 

His armor gleams in the light of the sun. Making him glow as he walks. Determination runs through his spark, to his very core. It can be seen in his face. His cerulean blue optics stare dangerously at his target. Ready to engage in his pit coding. The sound of his daggers unsheathing from his wrist, seemed to echo throughout the tortured mountains. 

"Sunstreaker? What...What are you doing here?" she stammered, staring up at the golden finned Mech. 

His armor shines brightly against the sun, he walks by without a glance at Nichole. His first move is getting rid of the con trying to harm her. With a swift stab of his servo, one of his daggers forces its way through the con's spark chamber, ripping it out on the other end. With a battle cry, he brings the dagger back out and the con falls to its knees, eyes darkening before it hits the ground. Energon begins to slowly pool around the lifeless husk. Sunstreaker stands there looking down at it, panting, trying to get good ventilation back into his system. 

"Sunstreaker?" Nichole walks out of the corner she had been trapped in. One she had ran into after getting out of Sideswipe's subspace after their merge. Slowly moving towards the enraged bot. He swung around at the sound of her voice, his optics turning back to a glowing blue from the dark red it just was. He sheathed his daggers and knelt down to pick her up. He brought her up to his face, looking her over, checking her for damage. 

"Sunstreaker, how...why...what are you doing here?" She snaps her fingers at him, gaining his full attention. 

"I felt the merge. Then I felt the pain and I knew I had to come." A small bit a sadness arose in his optics. 

"It was an accident. I didn't mean to merge without you." She feels guilty for what she had done, but there is no way to reverse the effect now. 

"We will discuss this later, right now you need to get that cylinder." She nods, her face going blank. He then turned and ran towards the cave entrance.

Most cons either down or dead or they fled. Optimus took his battle with Megatron far from the cave opening. Making it an easy task to get in. Sideswipe and Diesel caught up with them after taking out their last opponent. Neither questioning how Sunstreaker had gotten there. The goal is clear. They came to three different passage ways. 

"We need to split up, com if you find it." Diesel ordered. Nichole ran along side of Sunstreaker as they took the middle passage way. The tunnel is long and curvy, ending to a large throne like room. Cybertronian equipment laid among the walls, showing different types of information. 

"There!" Nichole shouted pointing to something sitting next to the large throne. 

Sunstreaker reached to grab it but was stopped as a blast came heading straight at him. Knocking him back, just barely missing Nichole.

"Sunstreaker!" She screams. As much as she wanted to be by his side, her mission is priority. But she is stopped before she can get close. 

"You think that she can save you all? You think this will right all your wrong? Your stupider than you look, Sunstreaker." A large black and white con came walking out of the shadows, smoke rising out of his blaster. 

"Barricade." The name hissed out past Sunstreaker's lips. He leaned up on his elbows, glaring at the mech now pointing a blaster at his beloved. A wave of fear ran through his body, but he kept a straight face, optics never leaving the cons. 

"How is kup doing?" Barricade sneered, a dirty smirk lining his face. 

Sunstreaker slowly stood to his feet. Barricade's blaster still pointing at Nichole. Nichole stayed frozen in her stop, knowing that if she took one move, it could be her last. 

"He's about to be doing just great. After I take you down and we take that cylinder." His dagger unsheathed from his wrist, quickly shooting it out at Barricade, hitting him in the shoulder. The con cried out in pain and anger, bringing his arm that held his blaster up to his shoulder. Nichole took this chance to run, her eyes trained on the darkened cylinder. She could hear the two mechs going at it, metal crashing against each other. 

"Oh no you don't" The words only pushed her to go faster, she had one more jump and she would have it in her hands. Though it was very large right now. She assumed there is a way for it to become smaller. If only there wasn't a con trying to stop her. 

"Nichole!" A servo came out in front of her. There wasn't enough time for her to scream. As the impact comes, her grays widen, no time to brace for impact. 

But impact never comes. She opens her eyes, staring at the ceiling. The only thing she can here is her harsh breathing. Her back is laying against the cold hard throne. Heart partly beating out of her chest. She slowly begins to feel her limbs again as they seemed to go numb even without feeling impact. 

"Nichole." The voice seems distant, almost disembodied. 

"Nichole!" It shouts again, this time she recognizes it. 

She slowly moves her head to the side and her eyes come in contact with those beautiful cerulean blue optics of Sunstreaker. A relaxed sigh comes from deep within her chest, realizing she isn't dead. A smile comes to her face as she sits up, for the first time in her life she's glad she isn't dead yet. 

"Sunstreaker." He sends a smile back at her before fully standing up. She stands up and looks around for Barricade, after not seeing him, she looks up at Sunstreaker in confusion. 

"He ran off after I sliced his arm off." He said in a calm tone. She nods impressed, then turns to find the cylinder gone.

"What!" She screams. 

"Are you looking for this?" Sunstreaker says with a hint of sass. From behind his back the cylinder is resting in his servo. He reaches down to her, handing it over. 

"For you, my queen." He smirks. She rolls her eyes at him before resting her hand on the glass. Then to both their surprise, it begins to glow a bright energon blue color, and slowly starts to shrink. Into a size small enough so she can easily carry. She walks into Sunstreaker's servo, gently picking up the glowing cylinder.

"Wow." She whispers, staring into the vast brightness. 

Running of large footsteps can be heard coming down a hallway. Sunstreaker immediately brings her up, close to his chest, ready to protect her. His blaster pointing at the entrance. They hear a voice telling someone else they see a glowing bright light coming from this way. Sunstreaker's blaster is immediately replaced with his servo. For the voice they both recognize. Bumblebee comes racing into the room, blasters at the ready. The others not to far behind them. 

"Sunstreaker? Is everything alright? The Decepticons have retreated." Optimus takes a moment to look around the room. Noting the spilt energon on the floor, then looking at Sunstreaker making sure its not his. 

"We are good, sir. More than good." Sunstreaker looks down at his femme, smiling, proud of they were able to accomplish. The others begin to look down at her too, now noticing the bright glow of the cylinder she held in her hands. 

"Let's go reverse some damage." 

Those words were enough to put a smile on all their faces. Bumblebee waved a hand to them to come on. Come on is what they did. Sideswipe met up with them outside the entrance to the cave. Diesel not to far behind him. Sideswipe could feel the pride being felt by both his brother and his new sparkmate. He ran up to them the minute he saw them walk out. Taking them both in his arms. 

"Ready to save Kup?" She asked, looking happily up at them both. The both nodded and transformed, Nichole sitting in Sunstreaker's driver seat. 

"Autobots! Lets roll!" Sideswipe shouted as the three raced off. 

"Hey that's primes line!" Sunstreaker shouted after him in laughter. 

"Alright so how do I work this thing?" Nichole asked, looking the cylinder over, hoping for a button to pop out or something. The humans and Autobots are surrounding her as they stand in front of the cell. 

"Aren't you supposed to know, all knowing one." Sideswipe joked, preforming a fake bow to her. 

"How about I try it out on you first?" She smirked, pointing the cylinder back at him, he quickly put his servos up in defense. 

She laughed and turned back to the cell. Kup lay on the berth inside, not moving. Ratchet put him in a force recharge, so they would be able to preform the reverse with no problems. She started to toss the cylinder around in her hand again, having no clue what she is doing.

"How does she not know how to use it?" Ironhide whispered to Optimus. 

"It could be that she was unable to learn the information when she was born. As her species stopped reproducing and began to die out, most information became lost. A millennia of history has been lost as they became practically extinct. We don't even know how she was born to know what truly happened." Optimus explained to the weapon specialist. 

"Wow that must suck. No wonder she didn't know she was different." Ironhide commented, beginning to feel bad for Nichole.

"It is something I hope our race never had to endure." Ironhide nodded at the Primes comment and went back to focusing on Nichole. 

"Maybe if you think really hard it will work." Sideswipe suggested. 

"Ow" He yelled as his golden twin slapped him on the back of his head. 

"You idiot. Do you not think she's tried that?" Sunstreaker snapped. He is beginning to become impatient, wanting this to hurry so they can have Kup back. 

"Will you two be quiet! I'm trying to concentrate." Nichole barked at the twins. 

"Sorry, Nichole." They both answered. 

She stood, feet separated, holding her stance. Her shoulders relaxed, eyes closed, concentrating on the glowing blue cylinder she holds in her hands. Everyone around her went silent, no one moved, for they didn't want to be a distraction. Her hands grip tightly around the center of the cylinder. Looking deep into her mind, she tries to find the answer to her problem. Hoping her ancestors left her some kind of information. She has to push through other memories, other information she held inside. Her eyes begin to squint, teeth begin to grind together, her body becomes tense. Her grip on the cylinder is turning her knuckles white. The glow begins to brighten, causing the dark room to light up like a Christmas tree. Her hair stands on end, loose strands start floating. The light becomes to intense for anyone to look at anymore. A rush of energy leaves the cylinder with an angry, challenged cry leaving her throat. Making everyone turn and look again. 

She lay sprawled out on the floor. The cylinder loosely hung in her hand, not glowing anymore. She lay panting, eyes closed, heart beating rapidly.

"Nichole!" The twins rush to her side. They are quickly in their holoform, kneeling by her side. Sunstreaker grabs her hand, while Sideswipe takes the other. She lets out a gurgled groan and her eyes flutter open. 

"Ow, my head." She complains, taking her hand from Sideswipe to rub the back of her head. 

"Are you okay?" The twins are staring at her intently, looking for any sign of damage. 

"Yeah I'm fine. Did it work?" She sat up, still rubbing her head, but looking into the cell. Kup still lay on the berth, looking as though nothing has changed. 

"Ratchet can you wake him up?" Optimus wondered, the Medical officer nodded walking to the cell. Everyone stared, watching carefully as Ratchet brought the bot out of stasis. 

After what seemed like a very long ten minutes, Kup's optics fluttered open, focusing to the darkness of the room. He gave a groan that seemed to echo. As he sat up, no one moved, no one even breathed. All waiting to see if the Cylinder worked. Kup turned and jumped back a little at the sight of everyone standing there staring at him. He looked at the bars keeping them separated. 

"What the frag is this? Why am I in a fragging cell?" Kup started yelling, hands on his knees, leaned forward, glaring at all of them. 

"Well I think Kup is back." Sideswipe said excitedly. 

"Let him out Jazz." Jazz complied happily to the Primes command. Kup stood as the bars slid open. 

"Come old friend, we have lots to talk about." Prime wrapped an arm around the old bots' shoulders and the two along with Ironhide, Jazz, Ratchet and some others left the brig. 

"Aren't you two going with?" Nichole asked noticing the twins still sitting in their holoforms next to her. 

"We will have plenty of time to catch up." Sideswipe stated, watching the others walk away. 

"And we have some unfinished business to attend too." Sunstreaker said with a smirk and his arms crossed. She looked at the two confused as they both shared the same look. Before she could do anything, the two vanished and she was being picked up by Sunstreaker in his bipedal mode. 

They got to the twins berthroom and the door shut immediately after entry, locked and all. Sunstreaker set her down on the metal table in between the berths. 

"What's going on?" She asked in an unsure tone. She could feel Sideswipes mischievousness creeping through the bond. 

"I do believe that two someones bonded without me." His arms crossed, and eyebrow raised, staring down at her. 

"I was hoping you forgot about that." She said guilty as charged.

"How could I forget that the love of my life bonded with my twin brother? I felt the whole thing, but now its my turn. There is no running away from this now." He leaned down, optics level with her. She sighed in defeat but knew all too well that she wanted this as well. 

Sunstreaker sat down on his berth, leaning back against the wall. She crawled over on to his lap, looking at his chest. Piston sliding, and air releasing, hissed throughout the room as he slowly opened his spark chamber. The bright blue light almost blinding her. She covered her eyes but couldn't take her eyes off the glowing orb in front of her. Tendrils shot out and gently wrapped around her, the same as Sideswipes had done. Sunstreaker let out a moan, optics squeezing shut as they pulled her close to his spark. His head shot back in ecstasy when she encountered his spark. She seemed to float in mid air as they merged together. Both feeling the pleasure of the bonding. She gently leaned in closer, pressing her lips lightly against his soul. Her hands fondling a loose tendril floating around her. 

"Nichole..." Sunstreaker moaned out loud, arching his back. 

"I love you." She whispered through the bond to him, bringing him over the edge.

He leaned back, panting heavily. Nichole laid on the closed chamber, trying to catch her breath as well. 

"That was beautiful." Sideswipe said from where he lay on his berth. 

"How come ours wasn't like that?" Nichole asked, looking over at the red twin. 

"We didn't exactly do it in the best circumstances." An answer she could understand. 

Their merge had been quick and chaotic. There wasn't any building of pleasure or ecstasy. It had hit them both quick and was gone before they could feel good about it. Sunstreaker moved in a way making Nichole slide down to the berth with a thump. As she sat up to growl at him, she was met with an embrace. The twins in their holoforms, holding her tightly. 

 

"Now how about we do this the way humans do it?" Sunstreaker whispered into her ear. His hot breath breathing down her neck, making her squirm. 

 

"I like the sound of that." She teased, planting a kiss on his lips. 

*--------------------------------*

The twins and Nichole sauntered out of the room and into the hanger where everyone was hanging around. 

"Nichole!" Diesel shouted upon seeing her walk into the hanger with the twins. She ran over to him with a smile on her face. 

"I don't think I've ever seen you this happy." he said excitedly, kneeling down to her level to pick her up. She gladly jumped on. He brought her close to his ace then his optics widened in surprise. 

"Nichole, your eyes." He gasps. 

"What about them?" She looked at him in confusion. Others started to crowd around them. Taking a look for themselves. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe stopped talking to kup, looking over at the commotion. Woos and ahhs went on around her. 

"What the hell is going on? Stop crowding me!" She yelled, annoyed at all the attention. 

"Your eyes...Their blue. Like the sky blue." Diesel still in awe of them. He couldn't believe it. 

"What! No way! My eyes are gray." She argued. 

"Go look in a mirror." 

Diesel set her on the ground quickly. Causing her to slide out of his servo. He transformed, swinging his mirror around so she could see for herself. Her hand went up instinctively, lightly touching under her eye. Staring at the shocking sight that reflected back at her. She blinked then rubbed her eyes, not believing what she is seeing.

"How?" She whispered, not to anyone in particular. 

"Could it be because we bonded?" She asked, her eyes moving to look at the twins. 

"Y'all bonded?" Diesel asked blankly, tone unnerving. She looked down, cheeks turning red. Diesel transformed and landed in a knee in front of her. 

"Oh that's wonderful!" He yelled after a long pause. 

"You found your place. The bond changed the color of your eyes. That's fantastic. You need to tell me all about it!" His optics large full of excitement. Everyone around started to cheer, making her even more embarrassed. 

"But," Diesel started, silencing the room, finger pointed in the twin's direction. "Either of you two hurt her. I will find you and rip out your circuits one by one until I get to your spark." He growled. The boys stepped back in fear. 

"Yes, sir." 

"So, this is the heartless Marine you told me about." Kup stood next to the twins, one hand on his hip, the other holding an energon cube. 

"This is Nichole." Sunstreaker held her up to him with pride. 

"Sunstreaker put me down." She growled lowly, her redden face only getting redder. 

"She is a beauty, just like you said." He said staring down at her, taking a small sip of his cube. All she wanted to do at that point was turn and run. No one has ever said that about her and she has no idea what to do. 

"It is nice to meet you Nichole. I heard I shot you and Sunstreaker. I don't know how I will ever be able to make it up to you and thank you for giving me back my mind. I owe ya one." Kup bent down a bit so his optics could be level with her. 

"The pleasure is all mine. You helped me figure out who I really am. So, I think we are even." 

"Yeah but you didn't shoot me and knock me out. So, I still owe ya." She rolled her eyes, not going to argue with the old bot. 

"Wait until you hear all of Kup's stories. He has the best war stories." Sunstreaker and Sideswipe started talking about Kup and all the things they would do together. 

Nichole sat crisscross on Sunstreaker's servo, feeling content, laughing with her sparkmates. This is a new beginning for her. A new better life. One she never dreamed of having. 

"Nichole!" A shout came from down below. She crawled and looked over to see Lennox staring up at her. 

"What do you want?" She yelled down to him. 

"I have something for ya. Get down here and come to my office." He finished and walked away. Nichole looked at the twins, all three confused, but Sunstreaker let her down anyway. She ran off after the Major, curious about what he had for her. 

When she walked into his office, Lennox stood leaning against his desk, arms crossed. 

"What do you have for me?" She asked, closing the door behind her. 

"General Morshower had this dropped off today." He turned and picked up a small ID card, handing it to her. On the white card was a professional picture, her name, birthdate and entry date into the Army. 

"Is this real?" She wondered, running her hands over the card. Feeling the bumps from the insignia. 

"Its real." 

She looked up, her mouth open in shock, eyes becoming watery, but there was no way she is going to let them fall. No matter that they are just happy tears. 

"No get out of here. We will get your uniform and everything in the morning." She closed the distance of them both and without warning she pulls Lennox into an embrace. 

"Thank you." She whispers to him. He hesitates before hugging back, shock written all over his face. 

He had no words to say, none of the would have been able to explain the feeling he had for the old Marine new Soldier. She pulled away, without a word she left the room. Going back to the party below. He stood there a moment, taking in what just happened. Then he walked out of his office with a grin on his face and joined the party. 

"What did Lennox want?" Sunstreaker asked as Nichole ran over to them, holding the ID card high in the sky. 

"I'm...I'm a Soldier...now" She said catching her breath and trying to get her heartrate to settle back down. Both Sunstreaker and Sideswipe looked at her in amazement before transforming and colliding with her in their holoforms. Sunstreaker picked her up and spun her around. 

"That is amazing, Sweetspark. You finally got what you wanted." He said happily. 

"I did, but it never would of happened if it wouldn't be for all of you. Thank you." She whispered leaning her forehead against his. 

"Hey, don't forget about me!" The two split and Sunstreaker set Nichole down. 

"How could I forget about you, Sideswipe." She jumped into the second twins' arms, his arms wrapping around her, her legs wrapping around his waist, holding on tight. She planted a sloppy kiss to his lips, smiling into it. 

"Primus get a room!" The two turned to see Ironhide hiding his optics with his servo. Making the three of them and everyone in the room to start laughing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this still needs a lot of editing. I just haven't been able to find time. with school and work and other things.  
> But,  
> I do want to thank you for taking the time to read this story. I worked hard on it and I feel in love with it the more I wrote. I'm glad I am able to share this with you.  
> Thank you


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